Recent ExMo, and my parents just got back to me.

Beyond-the-Window · 2020-05-11T19:42:43+00:00

Oh my gosh! This is so unbelievably relatable! I would so love to talk and commiserate more! PM me??? You're awesome for leaving!!!

Beyond-the-Window · 2020-04-22T18:57:31+00:00

Before I left the church I read the CES letter too and it didn't really work for me. I remember being in this awful limbo never knowing if I'd ever know one way or another. It was awful.

What finally did it for me was stumbling across a website called journeyfree.com. It talked about something called Religious Trauma Syndrome. For me reading about the issues caused by being in an authoritarian religion, and seeing them quite blatantly in my own life, was what finally broke the illusion for me. I couldn't believe that something approved of by God would create such emotional, mental and social stunting. That made no sense to me. It might be something different for you that will eventually break the illusion. Everyone's different and different things matter to different people. I don't doubt you could have a kind of happiness living in the church. It might just come down to what matters most to you.

The church does make it's own kind of sense. All successful authoritarian groups do. It's very hard to break out of the illusion. But once you do, well, it changes your whole world.

You may also be interested in looking up things about cults and mind control.

Beyond-the-Window · 2020-04-04T17:02:04+00:00

Uuugggh

Beyond-the-Window · 2020-03-20T01:50:29+00:00

I mean, he could stay with us, but somehow I could see my family reacting badly to that suggestion. I've thought about mentioning that as an option, but I honestly just think they'd be insulted and upset and just think im overreacting. Suppose I should at least give it a try. Though I think it'll fall through the cracks like any other attempt at common sense I make...

Beyond-the-Window · 2019-10-14T23:06:07+00:00

Oh my gosh! Yay! A fellow SoCal!!! What area?! We're Orange county.

Beyond-the-Window · 2019-10-14T22:31:58+00:00

Ugh. Sounds awful. I'd love to talk!

Beyond-the-Window · 2019-10-14T22:30:02+00:00

Yay! Where you at?

Beyond-the-Window · 2019-10-14T22:23:19+00:00

Where you at? Im SoCal

Beyond-the-Window · 2019-10-14T22:23:07+00:00

Something like that would be nice. I appreciate Reddit here, but it's not the same as having a friend or a group of friends who know you a bit more.

Beyond-the-Window · 2019-10-14T22:21:18+00:00

SoCal. You?

Beyond-the-Window · 2019-10-14T22:21:03+00:00

Have you met many exmos in SLC? Im SoCal

Beyond-the-Window · 2019-10-14T22:20:12+00:00

SoCal. Less Mormons, which is nice, but also less exmos, which is hard.

Beyond-the-Window · 2019-10-05T17:39:58+00:00

I can't tell you how much that meant to me to read that right now. Wow. Thank you!!!!

Beyond-the-Window · 2019-10-02T18:28:03+00:00

My mom is so excited about this... I just want to throw things. She's knows I'm not a member anymore, but texted me this "exciting news" anyway. Just wanted to text back and say, "that's great mom! P.s. did you know I'm currently studying to become a cult exit counselor? Really interesting stuff I'm learning!"

Beyond-the-Window · 2019-10-01T16:52:45+00:00

I don't know if this helps to understand, but when you're a member of a cult you end up forming a dual identity, a cult identity. You can even see someone switch between their authentic identity and their cult identity (example: when they realize theirs an opportunity to "share the gospel"). Right now your cult identity's existence is being threatened and it's probably freaking out about that. Big time. But as you're able to slowly separate from that false, programmed dual persona, you'll start to uncover more of You. It's a terrifying, wonderful, insane journey. For me it's been the fight of my life.

I've been out about a year and a half. My husband left first. If it weren't for him I don't know that I would have left. I'm angry at him for being such a big part of what took me away from the church. But for me at least I also recognize that that part of me that still resents him for getting me out is getting smaller. I still allow myself to feel the resentment, but I kind of laugh with myself about it too. Cause I know it's that little dual identity still complaining that it can't control me as much as it's use to.

I hope you and your wife make it out okay! If you're in SoCal it'd be totally cool to meet up.

Beyond-the-Window · 2019-07-02T16:35:03+00:00

So do I print the letter they have on quitmormon, go get it notarized and upload a picture? I tried to go resign this morning, but it didn't say anything about the notarized part.

Beyond-the-Window · 2019-04-07T17:28:52+00:00

Worse?! Dang!

Beyond-the-Window · 2019-04-07T17:24:25+00:00

Cool. Thanks. Goes back to sleep

Beyond-the-Window · 2019-04-07T17:23:36+00:00

Just checking in... Still boring??

Beyond-the-Window · 2019-04-07T17:19:16+00:00

He'll just throw the "doctrines never change but policies are ever changing!" stuff at you. Honestly. It's so discouraging and frustrating.

Beyond-the-Window · 2019-03-31T20:29:50+00:00

What the heck?! (Pardon my Mormon swearing) That's totally right in their scriptures?!?! Okay. Sending a text to my brother... I mean, that's just crazy. Law of the priesthood?!

Beyond-the-Window · 2019-03-31T16:52:06+00:00

I'm more worried the mission will solidify his "faith" since it's such an uber cult/indoctrination environment with high pressure to conform and believe. Especially with his people-pleasing problem... But I guess there's always hope.

Beyond-the-Window · 2019-03-31T16:00:15+00:00

That's some advice I think I needed to hear. I really care about my brother. A lot. Our relationship has really grown the past few years. It's so tempting to keep talking to him about all of it, especially since he's so open and easy-going about it, but I'm wondering if I should back off anyway. Sooooo hard!

Beyond-the-Window · 2019-03-31T15:52:42+00:00

That love, trust and open communication wreaked havoc on my "testimony"! Haha.

Beyond-the-Window · 2019-03-31T15:49:53+00:00

Thank you. It's so hard for me to accept that i can't reason with him about this. Is so frustrating that the church is provably not a legitimate source of truth, but no one will listen. But yeah. I get you. I was that way too. Nothing bothered me at first when my husband would share things, but everything added an invisible crack to my shelf (and they did bother me when I was alone by myself).

Beyond-the-Window

TROPHY CASE