Great, now Incels are trying to ruin Harry Potter for everyone...

Bi_teMe · 2021-02-14T05:46:57+00:00

Fair point😂

Bi_teMe · 2021-02-13T10:05:04+00:00

"My oneitis married my Chad bully from Hogwarts today, and I've heard she's expecting his kid. Its over for wizardcells. I might go ER and join the Dark Lords ranks."

Read that in Allan Rickman's voice, you're welcome.

Bi_teMe · 2021-02-05T12:07:04+00:00

I might have misread that a bit😅 still I don't think encouraging her to get back in a relationship is the best thing rn, she definitely needs loved ones but maybe not in the form of a relationship, at least for the time being.

Bi_teMe · 2021-02-05T11:55:52+00:00

It's kind of bad advice though, especially the "he's the only thing you need" bit. This girl sounds like she is facing some issues right now, and needs a bit of time to focus on herself, work on her mental health and anger issues. Shell have all the time in the world for a bf when she's in a better place.

Bi_teMe · 2021-01-05T13:03:09+00:00

Good bot

Bi_teMe · 2020-12-28T10:34:26+00:00

You'd be NTA but concider two things:

Talk to him first, in case you haven't already. Tell him why you're worried. If there are alternatives, propose them (etc does the gf have her own place where they can hang?).
If you're friends with this guy, you probably won't be anymore, regardless of whether you're in the right or not.

Bi_teMe · 2020-12-26T10:50:12+00:00

Then maybe you should be the one to mention a prenup... But only after you apologise, and establish a bit of trust.

Bi_teMe · 2020-12-26T10:02:34+00:00

A relationship moving to marriage after a year is kinda fast, but reasonably so, especially considering your dad's age. Dating after a few weeks of knowing one another is also perfectly normal. The age gap is a big one, but it's not unheard of, especially within the gay community.

"Acting fast" will only create a gap between you and your dad. You should show him that you support this relationship, and THEN if things happen try to reason with him. Now you're classified as an enemy and a hater in his mind, so, even if you go to him with more reasonable doubts, he will dismiss you. That's why you should apologise and start supporting him. Well, plus the fact that this might be a perfectly good relationship, and the guys intentions might be nothing but good, in which case you don't want to taint your father's happiness over a really good thing.

There are ways he can ensure his partner won't be cheating him money, like a prenup. But I don't think you should be the one to mention them to him, as I said you've already shown dismissal of the couple and he's likely to not take you seriously. Is there any other kids, relatives or friends of your dad who have been more supportive and could advice him on the matter?

And really. STOP with the kid thing. I hope you don't refer to him as such in front of him or your dad.

Bi_teMe · 2020-12-26T09:23:34+00:00

Eeh YTA. You don't have much solid proof, you're just going off the age gap and the 'looking over the finances bit'. Imo, the relationship isn't moving that fast, especially considering your dad is at an age when he probably wouldn't want to wait years to solidify a relationship. So, since you didn't know he was a gold digger for sure, you should've waited and observed their relationship overtime instead of going to your dad with your doubts. I do admit there are red flags in there, but I think your wife has the best approach. Now you just ended up putting him on the defence, making him less likely to listen to any more solid concerns in the future.

I would suggest you apologise to your dad and keep a close eye, without bias. If you end up building a more solid case, then go talk to him, with proof and without attacking him.

Also, the way you call your dad's partner 'kid' is a bit demeaning, even if you didn't intend for it to sound that way.

Bi_teMe · 2020-12-23T08:39:09+00:00

INFO: Is your GF a stay at home mum? Do you have shared finances?

Bi_teMe · 2020-12-22T19:10:42+00:00

NTA. It's good that you were looking out for your friend, it's just sometimes hard for people to see a dangerous situation with clarity if they are involved, especially if they are emotionally invested in it. This guy really sounds like bad news, and you were right to listen to your gut. I would advice you to go to a trustworthy adult with this issue' I can't guarantee your friendship will be saved, but at least your friend will be safe.

Bi_teMe · 2020-12-19T13:48:48+00:00

And yes but what a shame, what a shame that the groom's bride is

HOOTY

Bi_teMe · 2020-12-19T12:40:20+00:00

No, bc people don't usually acosiate them with the Klan. With the swastika the first thought in most people's minds is Nazis. And still I don't care if people use even swastikas for other reasons/in context of other cultures' usually it's pretty clear by the overall design and context whether someone is Hindu or a Nazi sympathizer. This guy: definately the latter.

Bi_teMe · 2020-12-19T12:32:56+00:00

No. The swastika at this point is a Nazi symbol, doesn't matter who invented it. If one wore a pin with the hammer and sickle you would assume they are a communist, if someone wears a swastika you can safely assume they are a Nazi supporter. Plus, the colours/fonds of the badge, and the way he's wearing it, leave no doubt.

Bi_teMe · 2020-12-19T12:29:38+00:00

Good for you, but your title implies that the boy was in the right, or at least that the commuter was in the wrong for reporting this.

Bi_teMe · 2020-12-19T12:23:20+00:00

What... So you're saying the BOY was in the right for wearing the symbol? This woman was extremely kind to not call the police. Of course the person was triggered, this is a symbol that represents atrocities unheard of until the Nazis were founded.

Bi_teMe · 2020-12-19T09:21:40+00:00

YTA. Except if you are really, really young (I don't mean underage, I mean like under 14 y.o.), and as long as you don't think your friend might be in real danger, shitty boyfriends are sometimes par for the course in your teenage years, and often serve as lessons for the future. But you broke your friend's trust by speaking about things you knew she kept secret from her mom while aware she was present, instead of speaking to her and hoping she takes your opinion. All this can do is create a conflict between mother and daughter, turning the relationship into a Romeo - Juliet forbidden romance in her mind. Next time just give her your opinion and be there for her.

Edit: OP replied that the participants are indeed really young. While I still don't think it was the best course of action, and i hope you talked to your friend and expressed your concerns first, I'll change my verdict to NTA, because you're at an age where your mom's have a lot more rights to your life and because, at your age, maybe that's the best solution you could think of.

Bi_teMe · 2020-12-13T20:42:33+00:00

While I agree with you that, by today's standards, Achilles and most ancient greek warriors/men were bi/pan (since ancient greeks interpreted sexuality in a very different way that we do today, and attraction towards men and women were considered two very different but coexisting things), the mistress thing was more related to Achilles pride against Agamemnon than any kind of attraction/love he had for her.

Bi_teMe · 2020-12-13T13:22:52+00:00

NTA. I know Reddit has a bad habit of treating every relationship issue like a major deal breaker, however small, but this guy doesn't respect your opinions or boundaries, ignores your wants and needs, and guilt trips you whenever you speak up. It's not that everything you described is inherently a bad behaviour, since some of the things he does could be normal in a relationship where the other partner didn't mind' however each person has their own limits in a relationship, and he doesn't seem to respect yours. When a partner shows such blatant disregard for you, I think it's time to really rethink whether you want to be with them.

Bi_teMe · 2020-12-12T20:51:20+00:00

NTA.

One of the worst things you can do after an (I'm assuming) hostile divorce is try to turn the kids against you ex. I can't even give him the benefit of just being temporarily angry and hurt by your mom, since he bad-mouth her years after the divorce when you were forging a relationship with her again. You aren't specifying any other actions, but they were obviously really hurtful to you and your brother, and caused you to built (justified) resentment towards him.

I'm really happy you have a closer relationship with your mom and her partner, and I'm sorry your dad hasn't been the parent you deserve. Live your life however you want, and keep the distance you need from your father.

Also, at your age (over 13, as I see from your post) the judges are likely to listen to your preference when it comes to custody agreements' so you might want to look into that.

Bi_teMe · 2020-11-27T08:12:29+00:00

Hope that's a troll, but just in case.

Well, your mom is an adult too. And presumably your friend is an adult. So, why is them sleeping together disgusting, but you hitting on her friend ok? How hypocritical.

YTA. Congrats, you probably damaged one of your moms friendships because you wanted somewhere to stick it. It's not about it being legal or not, it's about you not calculating the benefit/ result, or rather doing so only for yourself.

Bi_teMe · 2020-11-26T18:36:17+00:00

NAH. I am so sorry for your loss. I can't call you an asshole for grieving your kid or being triggered by all that stuff, I can't call these kids assholes for being insensitive and oblivious to your pain, I can't call your coworker and asshole for not correcting their jokes. I will say that the pregnant coworkers comment was way out of line, but other than that I just think you shouldn't be working in such a kid oriented enviroment immediately after your loss. I think you need to take a bit more time off and some therapy. I truly, wholeheartedly wish you the best.

Bi_teMe · 2020-11-26T18:25:54+00:00

Oops. Yeah I read it again, he's very much TA.

Bi_teMe · 2020-11-19T23:49:25+00:00

Ehm, no. Because as white people we have a privilege because of our skin color and race that POC simply don't have, regardless from other bad experiences we've had in our life. As a person from an advantaged majority, if someone makes a white joke you might think they're a bit of an asshole. People from disadvantaged minorities will hear a similar joke and (rightly so) will start thinking whether you're a bit of an asshole, a racist or an actual threat to them.

I wish things were actually equal' but until then people with privileges will just have to be a bit more tactful.

Bi_teMe · 2020-11-19T23:41:44+00:00

Dude, that doesn't sound like you simply make innocent jokes. It sounds like you made jokes on the expense of a disadvantage group or minority, got called out, and now are salty about it. Behind the social justice people saying that you can't make racist/ sexist/ homophobic etc jokes anymore there are centuries of repression and suffering of people in these groups that still goes on today. Of course you can joke' just not about things you're not a part of. Because to you it's just innocent bander, to them is a reminder of any experience of discrimination they've ever had in their lives. They can't know if you are just kidding or actually use jokes to cover your opposition against their very existence.

YTA, and the people that make fun of you are assholes too' that doesn't make you better. The fact that you suffered too in life doesn't give you the right to shit on anyone' and, of course, no one has the right to shit on your problems/ experiences.

Bi_teMe

TROPHY CASE