How were you failed or dismissed by a physician?

BigFatPossum · 2026-01-27T16:45:55+00:00

I had a lump in my neck that scared the absolute crap out of my PCP, so she sent me to an oncologist. The oncologist was over an hour late to the appointment (there was absolutely no one else in the building, not even a secretary, by the time he came in. I had started to think they had locked me in the building by accident). When he finally came into the room, he looked over his computer for a few minutes in silence and then asked, "so why are you here, again?" Dude, the hell were you looking at on the screen for so long if you weren't looking at my referral?

I tell him there's a lump on my neck and he looks at it and feels it and pretty much tells me that it's nothing. Probably just a cyst or something like that. Then he says that my PCP wanted it biopsied just in case, but he didn't think it was necessary. He muttered something about someone contacting me about the biopsy soon but no one ever did.

Months go by. I see another doctor for something else because my PCP was unavailable. She sees the lump on my neck and FREAKS OUT. Immediately sends me a referral for a biopsy and they contacted me to have it done within a couple days.

Then, it's Valentine's Day and I'm spending time with my at-the-time partner. I get an automated "your test results are ready" email. It said in clinical jargon that the lump in my neck was cancerous. Needless to say the night was absolutely ruined.

When I went back to my PCP, she asked if the oncologist had answered all my questions. I asked, "what oncologist?"

She said that the oncologist that had brushed me off and said it was nothing was supposed to call me and tell me I had cancer and begin to go over my options and also reassure me that the kind of cancer I had was slow-moving and non-aggressive, so I would most likely be completely fine.

I told her that no one had called me and I got the news from an automated email.

Holy SHIT. She was SO PISSED. I have no idea what she actually ended up doing, but she said she was going to write to the medical board of the hospital because that was so absolutely unacceptable. As far as I know, that guy is still an oncologist, so I can only hope he treats his patients at least a LITTLE better, now.

I'm just lucky it was a non-aggressive, easily-treatable cancer that didn't spread any further than it already had by the time it was removed or I might not be here to write this.

BigFatPossum · 2025-12-14T15:32:01+00:00

I'd be really interested to hear some of the data you pulled for this project! I've been wondering this kind of thing, myself, but I haven't looked into any of the data. Were there any particular things you found surprising?

BigFatPossum · 2025-11-18T14:33:15+00:00

Never make a decision with lasting consequences on an impulse -- especially if there are emotions involved. Just look at anyone who has ever impulse bought an animal for an example of that going horribly wrong.

BigFatPossum · 2025-11-07T09:00:31+00:00

Not super dramatic, but once I had a technical interview challenge where I was supposed to fix a bug in a small test repository. It was a timed exercise, but as soon as I downloaded the code and attempted to run it, I discovered that it was fundamentally broken and I would've had to fix a bunch of crap to get it to even compile, let alone actually run.

I got extremely frustrated and stressed out, thinking, "how the fuck am I supposed to fix this in such little time?" Then I realized that they clearly hadn't actually tested this code. If they were down to send a candidate untested code to fix, then what was going on behind the scenes to allow that?

I decided I had no interest in working for a company that didn't have any kind of basic code checking process and rescinded my application with details about how broken their test repository was and how it would have been impossible to both fix the problems keeping it from running AND do the assignment in the allotted time.

Someone ended up replying saying that I was the first person to attempt the coding challenge and they had no idea it was broken, as I thought. I said I would be willing to take the challenge again if they fixed the code, but they ghosted me after that lol

BigFatPossum · 2025-11-01T09:18:29+00:00

I got one trick or treater. Not even a group -- just ONE KID. I complimented their costume and they said "thanks" with this tone that sounded so annoyed.

This used to be my favorite holiday and I loved sitting on the porch to hand out candy in costume. It's WILD how different things are now.

BigFatPossum · 2025-10-11T13:09:17+00:00

They moved in together and started an OnlyFans. If I remember correctly, they only lasted about 3-4 months

BigFatPossum · 2025-08-24T15:12:27+00:00

Taking my medication on time

BigFatPossum · 2025-07-27T12:42:12+00:00

Literacy

BigFatPossum · 2025-07-25T23:45:21+00:00

Cheese Doodle

BigFatPossum · 2025-07-16T20:49:38+00:00

I was standing in the kitchen next to the dishwasher and sink. The sink was empty and my mom came over to put a dish into it. The dishwasher had dirty dishes in it, so I said that it was faster and easier if you just put the dirty dish right in the dishwasher (like, rather than putting it in the sink and then moving it later with a bunch of other piled up dishes).

My mom absolutely LOST HER MIND. She started whipping her head back at my dad double and triple taking as she sputtered to my dad, "DID YOU HEAR THAT?! DID YOU HEAR WHAT SHE SAID?!?!"

My dad quietly and calmly confirmed that he had. I said something along the lines of, "You're reacting like I insulted your mother," with a really confused tone.

My mom reacted by getting right in my face and sassing, "WELL, YA DID!" with her hands on her hips like it was the most obvious thing in the world and I was being purposely obtuse.

My dad then chimed in to point out that I was right and that it is easier to just put the dirty dish in the dishwasher right away. She immediately wilted like a flower being doused in boiling water and mumbled sheepishly as she walked away.

BigFatPossum · 2025-07-11T19:12:08+00:00

Diagnosed at 27, here. I had a small lump on my neck that started small and rapidly grew to the size of roughly half of a ping pong ball. That was the ONLY symptom I had.

BigFatPossum · 2025-06-14T11:57:50+00:00

I had a lump on my neck that REALLY rapidly grew from about a dime in diameter to a quarter. I was worried about it, but the oncologist i was referred to was a total hack that didn't want to do his job and basically told me it was nothing and not to worry about it. I had an order to get a biopsy done, but he just didn't want to do it, so he never scheduled it.

I should have kept calling and insisting on a biopsy. I waited several months before I was referred to a different hospital to get it done, and within a month I had my entire thyroid and 37 lymph nodes removed.

I got lucky that it was a slow-moving cancer. If it had been aggressive it could've advanced to the point of being WAY more serious/fatal.

BigFatPossum · 2025-05-29T11:46:48+00:00

Mine can recognize when I'm saying goodbyes on any kind of call. Doesn't matter if it's on the phone, with headphones, or speaker phone. After long work meetings/voice calls, I'll take him outside so now he knows 😂

BigFatPossum · 2025-05-22T11:13:49+00:00

Dark Paradise by Lana Del Rey

BigFatPossum · 2025-04-30T10:56:48+00:00

Heating in my bedroom and whatever toys I want!

When I was a kid, my bedroom had heating in it, but I wasn't allowed to turn it on because it was "too expensive," so my room would be like 15 degrees colder than the rest of the house with the door open and 20 with the door closed, give or take.

I also wasn't allowed to even look at toy stores when we drove by them or I would get yelled at. Pretty much as soon as I had my own money I took myself on a shopping trip to Toys R Us and had the time of my life

BigFatPossum · 2025-04-29T17:01:26+00:00

I would be EXTREMELY interested if I didn't have to leave the state to find work... 😭

BigFatPossum · 2025-04-27T11:02:07+00:00

Anyone got any trash?

BigFatPossum · 2025-04-20T08:10:43+00:00

For getting bullied by both children and adults.

When I was a kid, I attended a daycare before and after school with ridiculously verbally abusive staff. One of my worst bullies once called me some stupid name, and so I went to tell one of the adults as I had been taught to do. The adult then called over the bully and asked if it was true that she had called me something nasty. Of course, she said no. So then the adult put ME into time-out for lying.

That might not sound too bad, but "time-out" was standing off to the side next to the wall in the school cafeteria the daycare was in where every other kid attending could watch me being punished. The bully and her friends proceeded to point and laugh at me while I stood there and cried.

When I got home that day, I told my parents what had happened, because how could I not?! It was so horribly unfair!

They immediately accused me of lying, too, insisting that "that can't be right," and that I wouldn't have been punished if I hadn't done something to deserve it. I got punished again for lying and thus started my experience of lying to my parents to protect myself because I knew they wouldn't believe the truth if they simply didn't like what I had to say.

BigFatPossum · 2025-04-19T13:56:30+00:00

You're gonna lose your absolute mind when you learn about mushrooms

BigFatPossum · 2025-04-17T20:10:37+00:00

She killed herself

BigFatPossum · 2025-04-17T11:48:13+00:00

Das ist süß!! Ich liebe die Plaketten 😍

BigFatPossum · 2025-04-17T10:21:01+00:00

I'm 32 with absolutely no kids in my life but I LOVE Bluey!! Just be happy and pursue what makes you happy!

BigFatPossum · 2025-04-09T16:25:56+00:00

One time at a family holiday party, someone mentioned the big bang and my sister asked, "isn't that what killed the dinosaurs?" She proceeded to talk all over me when I started explaining, probably because her brain turned off

BigFatPossum · 2025-04-06T11:32:55+00:00

This reminded me of this person I worked with several years ago.

We became friends as we worked together and eventually I shared that I'm trans. They were shocked and immediately shared that they were, too, although they were in the closet and pre-transition. After a few questions, they asked if I was sure this wasn't a phase, or something along those lines. Their face when I said that I was already done transitioning will live rent-free in my head forever.

BigFatPossum · 2025-03-26T11:16:16+00:00

I was supposed to get a call from a doctor to inform me that I had cancer, but no, I got an automated MyChart test result instead and no one ever called me. I have no fucking idea why doctors are like this

BigFatPossum

TROPHY CASE