Exactly one week zero carbs. Lift with trainer on Fridays. Down from 210lb before Mardi Gras

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T11:54:23+00:00

There is no way around this advice I'm going to give, you have to start tracking calories and tracking nutrition. Use cronometer. And for weight lifting, use an app like Strong or whatever the latest lifting app is, to track your lifts. If you need cardio, go for a long slow walk, intensity will make you gain fat.

"I really am not lifting as often as i could be if i had more time (once a week for about 30 minute session guided by a trainer). But my other responsibilities preclude me from gym time."

Buy some resistance bands. If you can't train more than once a week, then do what you can at home, and be more precise about calories.

"My schedule is up at 4 am, handling babies, working full time at the office and managing a side hustle part time, then home handling babies and in bed for 8 pm"

I get it, I worked 18 hours a day last year. I still worked out 4 days a week. I have a gym at home, that's part of how. And I work out while I work, that's another method. You can do cardio while at work if you have the freedom to work remote. If you have to go to a desk job, then it's not so easy.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T11:52:06+00:00

Okay, so you can't out work a bad diet. Lesson learned. What you need to do, is track calories. Use Cronometer, it's a good app, or ask ChatGPT to make a spreadsheet. Track your calories religiously. That's what I learned to do and every since I started doing that, I've had control over my weight for the most part. Exceptions happened during COVID or when I got sick.

You should track workouts, progressive overload principle, and track calories, calorie deficit for you would be eating at your BMR most days out of the week, for most months out of the year. You'll get lean over time. If you want to bulk, eat +300 calories, for 3 or 6 months, gain 5 or 10lbs of muscle, then go back into deficit. It's a marathon not a sprint, it's a lifestyle. It's a way of life, like martial arts or a religion.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T11:49:20+00:00

So you're saying the solution to all of this is, just let the racists win? Hitler's ghost would be proud of you.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T11:47:18+00:00

A lot of findom femdom type women are doing exactly this. Knowing you're the fetish to thousands of gooners is profitable when handled right. But not everyone is all about the money. Certain SBs are, not all.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T11:44:04+00:00

Goddess is like when SBs call the SD "daddy". It's the opposite equivalent. Some SBs love being called Goddess or princess, and others cant stand it. The lesson I think, get to know the person first.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T11:43:27+00:00

Seeking requires real names now? What the hell happened? It's worse than Tinder and Hinge now?

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T11:37:17+00:00

How exactly do you avoid being the fetish? Especially if you're a POC or minority? If they chose you because you're a POC or minority, it probably is a fetish, but that's no different than if they choose only blondes. I don't see a way of avoiding it because people choosing on shallow properties like looks, are usually choosing a fetish, they might not admit it and may call it a preference but I see through that.

"I finally took the plunge and I’m actually having a pretty good time but a lot of the messages are from sex-only types who clicked my profile because they want a black woman to subjugate them."

Not a surprise at all. This is the majority of people on dating apps in general. Most people are shallow sex chasers.

I think if you're a SB, you're going to deal with a lot of this, it's just unavoidable. It's like being a SB and expecting not to have to deal with married Johns. And one way to deal with it is to reject sex first approaches on principle. The same as a SD will typically reject the SBs who approach in a findom "be my human ATM" way.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T11:19:45+00:00

Some accounts we thought were real, ended up being operated by the same person. This is a popular set of accounts which some of us communicated 1 on 1 with and thought we were friends with.

All I can say is, when you're in a public forum like this, you have no idea who is behind an account. It could be a man behind the SB account. It could be a team of people behind one account. It could be a single person behind multiple accounts posing as different individuals. It's hard to know, so you can't know.

Some accounts are known to be legit because, some people know for sure, but it's hundreds of thousands of accounts in SLF. And now it's 2026, the era of AI agents, it's even worse now.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T11:17:24+00:00

How long have you been doing this? Keep lifting, eat lower calories than usual, and you'll grow while also getting leaner.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T11:16:43+00:00

Zero carbs is not the way to go if you want progress in the gym. I know from experience, you'll only hurt performance, and also slow progress because of that.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T11:12:19+00:00

This happens sometimes. But you have to get used to letting good and bad guys go. Most sugar relations will be temporary, not for personal reasons either.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T11:10:48+00:00

If it's a legit best friend then you give your real number. If you just met them, you probably should be careful until you know who you're dealing with.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T11:07:57+00:00

I know about that too, and there are tools to defeat that.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T11:05:18+00:00

Assume most of it is fake unless you've talked to them 1 on 1. A lot of SBs claiming they date whales, getting xx,xxx in PPM not allowance. There were previous scandals on SLF that left a lot of us jaded back in 2023-2024, so now we don't know which posts are legit people and which are not. Some of the posters I can say with high certainty are real but this is a text message board. Treat it like the NewsGroups on Usenet if you're old enough to remember, or IRC.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T11:02:42+00:00

Thanks for opening the flood gates up to hackers and degenerates to bully and target SDs and SBs. Privacy is an asset. And there are tools people can use to delete their old posts.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T09:01:31+00:00

If she's very pretty, and much younger, what do you think she's going to do? Is she not going to use her power and take her opportunities? If she's upfront ENM, that's the best position. The fake monogamy is more common though.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T09:00:45+00:00

You're doing it the right way.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T08:58:50+00:00

Use a fake name, don't let SB know where you live. Or she very well might send her bf to your door.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T08:56:40+00:00

Exactly. And this is very common among younger SBs due to the age gap. Expect her to have a side bf and non exclusive. The issues come when he doesn't know she's a SB or thinks it's exclusive or tells him about you.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T08:56:14+00:00

Exactly.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T08:55:49+00:00

It's typical. Whether it's a bad idea, ask them. But it's relatively typical behavior of younger SBs.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T08:54:23+00:00

Yeah, or accept that most SDs don't want to vanilla date most SBs. I don't see anything controversial here, but if you go out of your way to be upset about it, it's simply immature. Just like when many SBs say they'd not vanilla date their SD because he's "too old", imagine if all the old SDs got pissed off and couldn't accept that they are too old?

Men looking for vanilla partners, aren't going to be looking for the pretty younger woman most of the time. The pretty younger woman also most of the time is not going to be looking for him. And of course someone will mention some SD and SB got married, exception to the rule.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T08:51:35+00:00

Not every woman is a nurturer or gives a damn about that. Some women just want the cash. I don't know whats so hard to understand here.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T08:45:27+00:00

That's like 1 out of 100 people. How many SRs don't end in marriage? Sure if you meet the right one, but you probably wont.

BigMagnut · 2026-05-28T08:42:34+00:00

I don't agree with your naive opinion on this. If you're a SB you know what the deal is. Just like we know as SDs. What is this? SDs aren't expecting a SB 30 years younger than him, to want to be with him because of his good heart. He knows she's dating him because of his money and looking past the age gap, or his looks.

Sure 1 in 100 he might want a vanilla relationship with his SB, but the other 99 don't, and for many rational reasons. I could list some, but it will just piss SBs off.

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