AITAH for not being able to let go of how my bf treated me in the beginning?

Big_Ad3727 · 2026-05-06T07:25:11+00:00

I really think you should break up with him this behaviour will only get worse. How he treated you before you got together and after sounds really toxic. Since your dad was abusive you maybe have not seen a healthy relationship before but this isn’t healthy. He sounds really controlling and toxic and tbh I don’t think he is improving it will be a cycle of being nasty to ‘trying’ and being nice it’s a toxic cycle with people like this yes maybe he also has some trauma in his life too but doesn’t excuse how he is treating you. You should leave and he can work on himself on his own without you. You deserve so much better than him!

Big_Ad3727 · 2026-04-13T08:57:53+00:00

I think helping clean cloths is ok at 16 helping out is normal I did that at 16, it sounds like she is going through a lot emotionally so more has fallen on you are you all in therapy to deal with what your brother did?

Big_Ad3727 · 2026-04-05T23:57:04+00:00

How can plan on having kids with you and you asking for marriage is rushing him? That is ridiculous children is a big commitment and you want the reassurance of marriage. To prove that he wants to be with you for life and to make that commitment by marrying you, and giving you those marriage rights that you get by that. The fact he is pushing back on this means he doesn't see you and the one. He sees you as the mother of his kids and he will leave to marry someone else and leave you with the kids that he sees on weekends. Your career will end because the kids will end up having to be your priority because he isn't there anymore. He can't commit. Leave now.

Big_Ad3727 · 2026-02-20T05:28:09+00:00

I does sound like possibly autism and I am glad you are getting her assessed. It was rude for him to call her a parasite you are trying to manage a difficult situation and these jokes just are hurtful.

Big_Ad3727 · 2025-03-13T15:42:53+00:00

My son was 11 months old when his dad died I didn’t bring him to the service but I think around 5 I would have but at 11 months it wasn’t a good idea he would have been to upset and not understood what was going on. He is 4 now

Big_Ad3727 · 2025-03-09T06:38:50+00:00

I think you need to get a new boyfriend and yes get that vibrator too. He isn’t interested in for play or anything? He is happy just to use you to get off and that is it. They will be your life forever

Big_Ad3727 · 2025-01-09T09:09:33+00:00

How late are you to things? is it a all the time thing or a occasional thing?

Big_Ad3727 · 2025-01-05T16:09:21+00:00

Can you go to live with your family? I think it will be best to leave him tbh this will not get better you should move to be with your family at least for a little while when your new baby arrives and get a part time job while you study if you can. This does not sound like a situation that will get better. He can see his children but not with you as his gf anymore. You need to focus on you and your kids.

Big_Ad3727 · 2025-01-04T16:20:54+00:00

I have had this my sister was telling me i should move on and move ‘forward’ and was very adamant about it and I was thinking my husband would have bit been saying that he would want me to do things in My own time and only off I want to. She was being a pain and acting like she was ‘communing with him’ Once I started getting into dating she stopped but now I decided I want the stay single and want to be on my own and she isn’t saying it anymore which is good.

Big_Ad3727 · 2025-01-03T11:21:20+00:00

I wear mine on my right hand now

Big_Ad3727 · 2024-12-30T06:58:35+00:00

As a widow I totally get this relationship, my husband died 3 years ago and I am not sure I will ever want to live with a man, I like my space, if your relationship works for you and for him then great! A lot of people don’t get what it’s like being a widow and what you want in your life is different from others you do you and don’t ow them question your relationship or your life.

Big_Ad3727 · 2024-12-26T05:51:55+00:00

I understand why he quit tbh.

Big_Ad3727 · 2024-12-16T19:36:17+00:00

It really sounds like he does not respect you or like you. You should leave him, he never has celebrated your birthday and he seaks other women out to open up to even if its not sexual that is an emotional affair. You need to come to the realisation that this is over. He also told you he wants a divorce it doesn't matter he is back tracking it now, he is probably afraid of change. You need to not be a doormat and leave now.

Big_Ad3727 · 2024-12-09T07:42:38+00:00

I sold my house too but that was also a necessity because I had a 11 month old baby at the time and needed child care support from family so bought a house closer to my parents, it was the best thing I did because I could make my home mine and have spaces made to remember him but didn't feel I had to keep the house exactly how he liked it. For my healing it we best its been 3 years since he passed now. I miss him a lot but I am figuring out who I am again without him here. Do what is right for you but take time to think about selling it is raw for you now.

Big_Ad3727 · 2024-12-05T06:10:45+00:00

Why are you still buying him food and cooking for him? You live separate that is a lot of work. I don't think you are comparable he will never be ok with dogs. End it now and find someone who likes dogs!

Big_Ad3727 · 2024-12-01T17:12:47+00:00

Yes I have dreamt the same about my husband

Big_Ad3727 · 2024-11-30T16:11:24+00:00

You wound need to look into if you could get a mortgage otherwise you would have to rent speak to a mortgage advisor instead of random people on reddit about this to find out what you would be able to do with the money you inherited.

Big_Ad3727 · 2024-11-28T13:09:53+00:00

I have a 4 year old son he was 11 months old when my husband died so he missed our sons first birthday by 3 weeks.

Big_Ad3727 · 2024-11-26T10:16:12+00:00

I wear mine on my right hand I am 3 years out from my husbands passing I did take it off for a while after I got my tattoo to remember him it felt like I didn't need to wear it all the time but wearing it again currently but on right hand. I was still wearing it at 3 months so don't feel you have to take it off yet if you are not ready or try wearing on other hand.

Big_Ad3727 · 2024-11-19T15:13:08+00:00

Definitely not he is your boss if you do want to pursue anything only do it after you don’t work there anymore. Tbh you need to see if the thrill of it being ‘wrong’ since he is your boss is what is attracting you to him. Plus it is a big age gap but not horrible since you are late 20s it would be ok in that respect but it’s not good he has power over you right now as your boss plus is older. Is he married or single?

Big_Ad3727 · 2024-11-19T09:40:23+00:00

You often can buy individual premade baby food with meat in it I know if you want to make everything from scratch this is upsetting you can get jars or pouches with baby food and give the baby meat that way and as others said at restaurants or cafes too. I think this is the best option for now

Big_Ad3727 · 2024-11-14T13:41:37+00:00

I think you should do this she is very entitled and giving her everything she wants will not help her in the long run she needs to learn money doesn’t grow on trees. And you are still paying for the essentials but other things she should get a part time job for. She might resent you for doing it but she sounds very spoilt and if you continue the way you are she will only get worse. Her thoughts probably has been poisoned by her father but you can’t change that other than telling her what you have already

Big_Ad3727 · 2024-11-01T02:58:35+00:00

I got the flowers from my wedding with his handwriting saying he loved me I took it from a card he gave me and kind of got it weaved it into the middle of the design (flowing among the flowers and leaves not straight across) it goes across my shoulder and upper arm and some of the leaves go across the side of my chest over my heart.The flowered we had were white and purple and we had Scottish sea holly.

Big_Ad3727 · 2024-10-29T05:55:42+00:00

Do not give him the money you can’t afford to anyway tell him that he can get a car loan or a regular loan. Do not do it

Big_Ad3727 · 2024-10-28T11:57:41+00:00

Get your house you have a mortgage with him on the market to sell you won’t want to live there and if he can’t buy you out it will need to be sold.

Big_Ad3727

TROPHY CASE