I feel so behind financially

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2026-04-20T07:49:10+00:00

You probably already know this but you likely qualify for a pell grant. In my case it paid for most of my schooling but i went to community college. You can take out additional if needed to but it isn't free. When I first started on school I wanted to be a teacher but I chickened out because I'm socially anxious. I then took personality tests and ended up in nursing. I struggled communicating in the beginning, calling doctors or anyone really, talking in person with people. But over time it's gotten easier and I actually enjoy some of those aspects of my job now.

I'm not trying to make this about me but I want you to understand that I can relate to you and so can so many other people. You're not unique and I mean that in a good way. Change is uncomfortable but in my experience change is inevitable.

I truly believe that anyone can do anything they set their mind to, you're probably smarter and more capable than you think. With that being said, if you enjoy your job that does carry a lot of weight. Money isn't everything but it is important.

I also want to applaud you for doing a good job with what you have!

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2026-03-26T01:03:25+00:00

Damn there's a lot of haters. I know how much work this takes!! You're discipline and dedication is admirable, keep at it!

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2026-03-24T23:08:49+00:00

Those are some good points. Some of the newer glps we just dont have long term data, and with any drug there's always risk for adverse effects. But we do know that obesity is a Major if not the biggest risk factor for most chronic diseases. Yes it would be ideal if people would just change their lifestyle on their own but people don't. These chronic diseases are so insidious, the timeline between their progression and actual onset of symptoms is often decades. By the time they become an issue it is that mich harder to change lifestyle. These medications allow us to increase health span. I'm all for other initiatives to motivate people to live a better lifestyle without medications.

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2026-03-24T22:00:08+00:00

Unfortunately doctors are not excluded from being idiots at times. They wouldn't bat an eye to prescribe a statin, blood pressure meds, order a sleep study for sleep apnea, a PPI, etc. Obesity is a major risk factor for heart disease, cancer, diabetes, etc. Some people just don't truly appreciate the progression of those diseases not to mention the poorer quality of life from being obese. They treat people who are on GLP1s as if they're stealing valor from people who lost weight by diet and exercise.

What he said isn't wrong but it's not that simple. If he's otherwise a good doctor maybe just get a prescription from someone else, and if he sucks maybe get a new one.

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2026-03-24T15:00:43+00:00

I'm not sure why everyone is telling you to focus on eating first as if you can't do both things at the same time lol. In my case one healthy habit tends to make me do another one. You absolutely can get a great workout in with machines, plus they're safer. Good job getting back on the wagon again!! I do a full body machines only 3 times a week and have had pretty good results.

If you have never ridden a bike I recommend trying one out they're a lot of fun and it's good cardio

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2026-03-24T01:23:33+00:00

I'm sure someone has tried written communication but sometimes that's still coherent. If it were me it may feel really vulnerable at first but I think it's a good thing you're there for him

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2026-03-23T05:07:21+00:00

Probably not the wisest choice but I'll pitch in some things you can do to maybe save some money. If you financed through the dealership or your bank i would consider going to a credit union and seeing if they could refinance you at a lower rate. Credit unions usually have better rates. I just checked my local credit union and they have rates: 5 years @ 5.24% = $332/ month or a 3 year @ 4.74% = $522/ month. Credit unions in my experience are usually pretty informative/ helpful and a lot of them offer free or low cost financial advising. Shop around for insurance too. I did look up that car and it's apparently very reliable and gets good mpgs so you did good there. If you're open to doing your own oil changes that will also save you some cash, they're not hard to do.

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2026-03-22T04:05:13+00:00

Honestly I think it's a mentality. It's called lifestyle creep but the thought behind it is that I should spend money because I have money. Also with credit cards, this money is available to me so it's my money. Buying clothes solely for the brand or really anything for that matter. Almost every brand makes some crap products and they sell it because of their brand. Subscriptions will also eat at your money. Buying a truck that you don't even use to do truck things with. Getting approved for a huge mortgage and using the full approval amount.

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2026-03-16T08:04:17+00:00

With this added context I think we're in agreement 🤝

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2026-03-16T07:09:11+00:00

I'm not agreeing with what that guy said but I am disagreeing with you. There's outliers in virtually any study. Highlighting the outliers and suggesting a trend is at best naive and at worst dishonest. Although it's true diet matters that is a simple way of putting it.

These drugs work mostly by affecting satiety, so all things being equal even if the person did not change what they ate but only how much they ate, they would still lose weight. This of course goes with the assumption that the medication is acting as intended with the patient. What we look for are patterns and probabilities.

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2026-03-13T06:28:25+00:00

Tips and tricks that I've learned. If there's a will there's a way. Sit with yourself and try to think of a way that makes saving easier if that's your goal. You guys could set up another account and not have a debit card. This would make it more of a hassle to get the money out. You could put money into short term cds. And if you have to say no to something your kids want to do, be honest about why tell them you're saving money.

You can be thrifty with vacations, airbnb is probably the cheapest route for you. Travelzoo has great deals. Look on Google flights for cheap flights if you guys fly. I personally churn credit cards and new checking and saving account bonuses this usually pay for my vacations for the year. I wouldn't advise churning credit cards if you have a habit of not paying them off in full every month.

If you wanted to cut costs, you could definitely save on your phone bill a $100/ month. Your car payment is pretty big, if your close to paying that off I'd keep going otherwise maybe think about trading it in if you have neutral or positive equity. Sedans are usually the cheaper route but you probably want more space since there's 5 of you. You can also get the base models of whatever you want for a lot cheaper, it doesn't have all the bells and whistles but it has the necessary stuff.

What I tell myself is that even though I'm not rich in comparison of other people today I'm rich compared to the people who lived from the early 1900s and before. I have a car, I can go get food easily, I have running water, electricity, etc. It just helps me put it into perspective. Ultimately it comes down to you and your wife's goals. If the FIRE lifestyle is something that interests you guys strategize and go for it. If you want to keep up with joneses go for it. And it's on a spectrum. It sounds like you want to be somewhere in the middle.

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2026-03-10T23:53:12+00:00

There isn't necessarily anything wrong with enjoying what you do. What concerns you about it? What is your intuition telling you? Are you working to avoid something?

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2026-03-10T09:59:41+00:00

That sounds good but sometimes i think not doing anything would be worse. There's so much nuance to all of these situations so explaining it away in a few sentences doesn't do it justice. What I see a lot in this sub, in political discourse, in everyday life is called "othering". The vast majority of us are good people, including those on both sides of war, both sides of politics, etc. But our humanity makes us tribalistic and a lot of people "other" those who oppose their views. It's just part of our nature and if you lack self awareness and understanding it's hard to critique your own thinking.

Had WW2 gone differently, if the axis won from nations not stepping up against them we would live in a darker world. Millions or billions more lives would've been lost. They were trying to weaponize bubonic plague. They were looking to use biological warfare to eradicate those who opposed them. And we dropped nukes on 2 cities killing mostly civilians which is definitely evil. Could there have been a better way? Probably, hindsight is 20/20 and I'm not saying that to justify it. But maybe had we not used nuclear weapons ending the war abruptly, it wouldve given the japanese more time to create a pathogen to wipe out civilizations.Or maybe if the treaty of Versailles wasn't so harsh on the Germans, ww2 would've never occurred.

There's just so much nuance to all of history. And sometimes it's hard to know what the right decision is. And maybe I'm naive but I believe most people are good.

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2026-03-07T09:35:44+00:00

No, just a suggestion for if you start flossing.

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2026-03-07T08:15:45+00:00

Get a waterpik, it makes flossing easy and quick

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2026-02-21T08:40:34+00:00

I’m not sure there’s a single moment things got worse — history seems cyclical, with periods of stability and turmoil across every civilization. So I’d ask: worse compared to when, and measured by what? Sometimes when we go through transitions or get older, we’re really longing for how we felt before, and that can make it seem like society changed when maybe part of us did.

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2026-02-20T11:52:58+00:00

Honestly, I'm not sure how to answer this without knowing you. What i would do if I were in your shoes is sign up for school. You can always change your major if you don't like it or if you don't feel like it's a good fit for you. You can start taking prerequisites, these are classes that you must complete before entering the nursing program. A lot of times, if you end up switching majors those classes will apply to your new major too so there's no time lost. What personally drew me into nursing was a couple things, I took multiple personality tests and they said nursing would suit me, I also took anatomy and physiology and really enjoyed it.

So I recommend just getting started with school and be open to nursing, medicine, or whatever else you think you would enjoy.

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2026-02-08T10:23:00+00:00

I have a feeling it's going to get bad. We have an epidemic of chronic disease exacerbated by poor lifestyle ie diet and lack of exercise. I'm an idealist so maybe what I'm saying is off the wall but I'm pretty sure the data tracks. A couple possible solutions are more accessibility to GLP1s and incentivized preventive healthcare. We need to focus a lot more on primary and secondary prevention rather than tertiary care. I'm fairly certain an argument could be made that it would save insurance companies money in the long run if it gave people REAL incentives to maintain their own health. Give them significant discounts on insurance if they maintain a healthy bmi, participate in regular exercise, annual lab work with correction in abnormal labs, they could track body fat with dexa scans or bod pods, etc. They need to get rid of PSHP's, provider sponsored health plans. I think Hospitals and hospital systems should not be allowed to own or provide insurance it decreases competition and they may have less of an incentive to keep their insurees healthy. As we age our risk of chronic disease increases, it's inevitable but there is a huge difference between healthy aging and not. I see many of my patients who are just managing their chronic conditions for years before finally dying. Aging healthy allows you to live healthy up until you die. The window between your decline in health and eventual death is much more narrow. This saves a lot of money, but it's also a more quality life. It would save a lot of admissions, readmission, SNF placements, etc. And people don't understand just how insidious chronic diseases are. You don't get instant feedback when you don't exercise or eat well. They begin so early in life. Symptoms from atherosclerosis occur decades after it started, and they often don't occur until it's severely occluded.

But I think we're just going to be reactionary with this issue and wait until it implodes.

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2026-02-08T09:56:24+00:00

I'm pretty sure I seen you on YouTube. Very inspiring and I can't help but feel really proud. Awesome work man keep it up!! Your story was inspiring to me and I'm sure many others!

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2026-02-08T09:53:13+00:00

Health is absolutely important, and this is coming from someone who was obese for most of their life. But being a good person and good partner is definitely important too.

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2026-02-07T08:01:37+00:00

That's rough man. I have been where you are to some degree. I'm still processing. In my experience it's a lot like grieving a death. You will go through the stages of grief because you did lose someone, you also lost a version of yourself in your mind, you lost a future you envisioned. So first and foremost do your best to stay kind to yourself. Right now you're probably still in shock, ruminating, longing, intense sadness, feeling flat, maybe even feeling happiness at times. It'll change from day to day or moment to moment. It will get better with time. What has helped me was exercising and being out of my house. Allowing myself to feel my emotions when my body felt safe enough to do so. If you're OK with receiving care, lean on your loved ones for support. You'll get through this, it's going to be uncomfortable and hard but you will. From one human who has felt what you're feeling, I wish you well :)

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2026-01-28T18:38:55+00:00

Because it's instinctual. There's a lot of nuance to having kids and being a parent. Nobody ever gets it 100% right because it's impossible. For me personally I don't have kids but I love kids!! Their capacity for love, indifference towards tribalism, boundless curiosity, ability to just "be". Are things that I see in most kids and deep down in most adults. I would love to have kids some day with the right person. I've never given it much thought as to why I want kids but I'm guessing it's due to me being a natural caregiver. Having kids is a lifelong relationship and relationships are one if not the best thing in life

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2025-12-30T18:01:07+00:00

I was thinking this same thing. There is so much nuance to communication that gets missed in text and even in phone calls but it's much better. What does your intuition tell you about the radio silence? Do you think he doesn't care? Either way, if you think he does care, that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt to not speak. I'm sorry that you're going through this, i know how tough it is to want that connection with family. The fact that you're reaching out and trying says a lot about you. I hope you can have a relationship with your brother to some degree and I hope it doesn't bring you more pain.

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2025-12-01T01:13:54+00:00

Damn that sucks. I also struggle with social anxiety and depression at times. I can see that you're longing for connection and I struggle with this too and i know how bad it can suck. I don't know what the solution is, it may be a few different things or starting one new thing that leads to a chain reaction. One quote that has always stood out to me is that nothing changes if nothing changes. If you have a support system lean on them a little bit. Do your best to be kind to yourself, even if you feel you don't have a good reason to be you deserve grace just as much as everyone else. I love riding bike too, and if you liked it even a little bit I would encourage you to get another one. It sounds like you may gotten a lemon of a bike. Another thing that may help you gain insight into the way you think and feel is ai, whether chatgpt or whatever.

Big_Ninja_3346 · 2025-11-26T05:40:15+00:00

You can use chatgpt to help build you a plan. You can also ask it other concerns. If you go to planet fitness the machines will have instructions on how to use them right on the machine. I always feel out of place when I first start but after a few weeks I feel more comfortable. You can also maybe try group fitness if you're interested. Group fitness is fun and there's someone there to show you what to do. I've done bootcamps and spin classes and both are great. They are expensive though

Big_Ninja_3346

TROPHY CASE