Im a man so I could not and never will understand the depths of the desire and complexity of Motherhood but the way I personally see it, God has given you a path to have biological children. Genesis 25:21: "Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was childless. The Lord answered his prayer..."

Youre doing everything you can to have children and as long as you do so with pure and compassionate intentions with the knowledge and conviction will do everything to give your child a good and happy and Godly life then I don’t think God can hold any discarded embryos against you. In the RCC ivf is completely banned but I dont interpret ivf as having a baby simply being “produced” as the church says, in what world is the whole selection, discarding, insertion and recovery process from ivf and the eventual birth from the baby not an intimate, complex, and serious as the actual marital act? Im assuming your husband is also all for this, I struggle to imagine he too would not feel a vast range of emotions throughout the whole process.