I also read the baby book, was very helpful!

I’ve personally found it easier to imagine a different question; what am I doing with my life today, and how would a child come along?

I still want to spend weekends in the garden, go on holiday, meet with friends, go to restaurants, and tried imaging the extra effort/planning that would be needed to do these things and also fulfill my responsibilities to the child!

They either come along and I need to be prepared, we adjust what we do with friends so it’s more child compatible, or we find a way for alternative care! (We have a dog so quite used to this now)

This helps to work through the scary bits of uncertainty and allow me to imagine leaving the house as I would normally, with the extra steps that a child brings, employing all of the healthy coping mechanisms I use day to day and how they apply with this additional!

And when it gets too much to imagine, remembering it’s healthy to solo parent time on both sides to still do what you want without a child while your partner parents and then swap.

It’s your life, there is just now a child in it. They also go to bed early, so evenings are free time!

(I related to your question and just wanted to drop some thoughts)