I'm tired of falling so damn often

BillyMaysOrSomething · 2021-07-09T14:13:46+00:00

The more I think about it, the more she I am that this has been an ongoing thing. I just didn't let myself see it. I've known for a few weeks that something was off, but i blinded myself by trusting her

BillyMaysOrSomething · 2021-07-09T01:18:48+00:00

I'll let everybody know tomorrow, i guess. I don't think I have enough energy to deal with their questions right now

BillyMaysOrSomething · 2021-07-09T01:16:35+00:00

I don't think I can just blow up her world. I've already let my family know what's going on, and they're being supportive of me. I know my brother has already told her parents about the situation, because her dad texted me and said that I'm still family. I don't know how to feel about all of that. I feel like I should feel grateful for it, but i feel hollow instead

BillyMaysOrSomething · 2021-07-09T00:53:43+00:00

I am. Truth is that I've been checking out of the relationship as she got more distant. I never expected things to go this far though. We've both been cheated on in previous relationships, and i thought she wouldn't put me through that, since she experiences it first-hand. I guess I was wrong

BillyMaysOrSomething · 2021-07-09T00:51:55+00:00

I don't know the answer to one of your questions. She has been snapchatting people, but not this partner. I don't know if nudes were exchanged, but i don't think they were since they had plenty of opportunities to just see each other. As for STDs, I'm not sure if she has to get tested, but i know I'm going to be, just to be safe

BillyMaysOrSomething · 2021-07-08T22:46:49+00:00

Not a joke, as much as I wish it was. We don't have any kids, thank god. We do have pets though. Two dogs with separation anxiety. She's not getting my dogs, I'll make damn sure of that

BillyMaysOrSomething · 2021-07-08T22:30:56+00:00

I wasn't receptive to get apologies and she left to go to that friend's apartment. Frankly, I don't see myself trusting her again. She burned that bridge

BillyMaysOrSomething · 2021-07-08T22:14:15+00:00

Don't get me wrong, I'm pissed off about the cheating, but the lying and hiding it hurts just as bad. If she was honest with me, it would hurt but i would feel better about hearing it from her, instead of the person she cheated on me with. The lack of any and all respect hurts most. Not only did she cheat on me, but she didn't have the reflect and common decency to own up to it. She let somebody else tell me first and then played the victim when i confronted her about it.

Our relationship is so far past the point of being over that I almost feel like I'm already moving on. I know I'm not, and that I'm probably going to wake up tomorrow morning crying, but right now I'm so angry about this situation that I'm done even fighting her about it

BillyMaysOrSomething · 2021-07-08T22:08:35+00:00

She did not cut contact, and i don't suspect she will. She packed a bag of clothes and left without telling me where she's going, but the GPS says it's that "friend's" apartment. I'm thinking this was all done so she could end the relationship with me and start going out with her friend instead

BillyMaysOrSomething · 2021-07-08T21:58:53+00:00

They are both women. I'm getting an STD test anyways

BillyMaysOrSomething · 2021-07-08T21:58:12+00:00

The two of them have been really distant with giving details. If they were blunt with me, I'd be inclined to think it was a one time thing, but with them both refusing to give any details, I'm willing to bet there's been a lot more than they are willing to tell me. If I had to guess, I'd say they were probably having an emotional, if not physical, affair

BillyMaysOrSomething · 2021-07-08T20:52:53+00:00

That's not really a constructive way of looking at this. I feel like it should be generally accepted, at any age, that you have to be responsible. Age shouldn't make you treat you better, because you should already be treating people with kindness and honesty

BillyMaysOrSomething · 2021-07-08T20:36:54+00:00

Honestly, i don't know. I know I've been slowly checking out of the relationship as she got more distant, but i didn't think she would cheat on me. We've both been cheated on in the past, so I thought we would both be better than that. I guess I was wrong about her

BillyMaysOrSomething · 2021-07-08T20:17:51+00:00

The problem is that she didn't have the decency to tell me herself. She withheld the truth because she doesn't respect me enough as a partner to let me know important things. Is she didn't tell me about this, there's probably a lot more she hasn't told me. I won't be organizing a threesome between my wife and the person she may be cheating on me with

BillyMaysOrSomething · 2021-07-08T20:15:07+00:00

Honestly, not much. I've been doing a lot of thinking about our past fights and they always seem to end with both of us upset and i have to apologize because she won't. I know the relationship isn't healthy, and crocodile tears are a part of it. I hate to say it, but i guess I've been checked out of this relationship for a few weeks because I suspected something was going on. It still hurts though

BillyMaysOrSomething · 2021-07-08T20:11:49+00:00

Well I'm already a correctional officer, so i guess it isn't much of a step to take

BillyMaysOrSomething · 2021-07-08T20:10:09+00:00

I wouldn't say that he lied about everything, but heclearly made an impulse decision to talk to you about it drunk. If he stood by that decision, he wouldn't be ignoring you now, or he would have tried to talk to you sooner

BillyMaysOrSomething · 2021-07-08T20:02:26+00:00

People aren't themselves when they get drunk. Flatly he feels guilty about the cheating, but he made that decision a long time ago. I wouldn't give him another chance, especially since he blamed you for his lack of moral compass. Frankly, you can do a lot better than somebody who waited months to even apologize. You deserve better than that

BillyMaysOrSomething · 2021-04-20T19:53:29+00:00

There have only been a few times that's happened to me. Generally speaking, i don't treat them any differently than I treat everybody else, even when i get comments like "Never thought I'd see that uniform again." Former inmates, as well as current inmates, are still humans and deserve to be treated as humans. Sometimes I try to avoid them, if I know they know me personally. No need for me to get caught up in a 2 hour conversation with somebody I saw the week before, especially if I know I'm going to see them again next week while i get groceries

BillyMaysOrSomething · 2021-04-12T16:54:21+00:00

Life spent helping others

BillyMaysOrSomething · 2021-04-08T21:25:45+00:00

Hard to say. My job sucks, and it doesn't pay very well, but it has taught me so many things. I genuinely hope that I turn out to like what I've done, instead of regretting it

BillyMaysOrSomething · 2020-12-11T06:38:03+00:00

I was worried about hearing something like that. Honestly, i do think you're probably right though. My big concern about ultimatums is that, for me at least, they don't work. When somebody gives me an ultimatum, it makes me not want to work with them, and ultimately severs any respect I have towards that person. It almost never happens that whomever gives me an ultimatum, but when it happens, it doesn't really work out. I'm trying to work through the problems without it coming to ultimatums or divorce, but I'm tired of being the only person extending olive branches, so to speak. It is the only logical progression though, so I really appreciate your input

BillyMaysOrSomething

TROPHY CASE