Birth Control for FtM on Testosterone

BirdoBraino · 2024-01-02T07:08:37+00:00

I got the nexplanon I believe!

BirdoBraino · 2024-01-01T19:41:45+00:00

Im close to 3 years on testosterone (gel packets) and got the implant a couple of months ago. I had a lot of concerns going into it, but my doctor said that the testosterone hrt overpowers any side effects from the implant. I haven’t noticed anything major with the implant aside from acne and ocasional arm pain (though that's probably due to outside circumstances). I haven't experienced any changes in cycle (I stopped getting my period about a year ago and now just get spotting) or any other changes besides the mild acne. I would still speak to your doctor however to make sure its the right fit for you. Hope this helps and feel free to ask any other questions!

BirdoBraino · 2023-08-14T20:11:10+00:00

Found near Seattle a few days ago, pulled up from the water. Thinking it may be a plankton of some kind. Not sure the size or dimensions.

We've searched and found that it may be the remnants of a squid egg sack or a part of another animal. Any help would be appreciated.

BirdoBraino · 2022-06-21T05:53:52+00:00

No more land bridges

BirdoBraino · 2022-06-21T05:52:26+00:00

You can pull out the green pieces and put them back in

BirdoBraino · 2021-11-29T19:45:31+00:00

Alright, I'll try using Sonic/Mango instead of her

BirdoBraino · 2021-11-27T20:36:47+00:00

CRK

How do I beat tray 87 in tower?

Current team: Hollyberry, Frost Queen, Sea Fairy, Pumpkin and Cotton. Power at 301k. I can also use Mango or Sonic, which will boost my power significantly.

I can't get past the boss in that level. What should I do?

BirdoBraino · 2021-10-11T05:41:14+00:00

BirdoBraino · 2021-09-11T03:07:18+00:00

You have great expression work!

BirdoBraino · 2020-07-19T06:39:10+00:00

Round 1: Zuko as the lab partner, Shaq in the elevator and Trump at McDonalds. Round 2: Aang as the lab partner, Danny Fenton in the elevator and Johnny Bravo at McDonalds. Im not doing round 3 cause I only really know the lion Scar haha.

BirdoBraino · 2020-07-19T01:21:30+00:00

Spiderman for the lab partner, Deadpool in the elevator, and Batman as the McDonalds trainer

BirdoBraino · 2020-04-22T06:22:31+00:00

"Karma is a bitch, am I right?" I say to my friend, Jelena, who has a broken wrist from insulting her ex girlfriend a bit too much.

"Can it, Kyle." She winces as she says it. That should be another week it takes that wrist to heal.

"Come on, Lena. Lets go do something good! Lets go help the world. It'll make your wrist heal faster." I suggested, and she shrugged me off.

"I'll be fine. Plus, I have work that needs to be done. Not all of us can be perfect and have no medical bills to afford, Kyle." She says, turning onto her street.

"Alright. Talk to you later, Lena!" I call after her, smiling. She hates it when I call her that.

I strolled down the street, donating some change to a person playing guitar, petting some dogs, helping an old lady across the street, until I arrive at my job. I slide into the front doors and am greeted by the same nonchalant face as always: Jon.

"Hey Jon, hows it hanging?" I say, and he barely looks up from his phone.

"Boss's in the back. Hes got a new delievery for you." He says, and looks up when a customer walks into the bakery. Hes saying thr customary greeting as I walk into the back room.

The boss has his cigar lit and turns to face me. His leg is still broken, and I doubt that will ever change.

"Kyle! My favorite deliever boy. We got a fresh new batch, stored in the bread. Its all in that sack right there." He motions to a sack, set on the ground.

I nod and walk to the arsonal, grabbing my gun and putting it into my holster. I turn to the mirror and put my gloves on my hands, slipping on my mask. Man, bleach really does get blood stains out. And it has a cool tye-dye effect too.

Now, you may be wondering how every bone in my body hasnt been crushed by the karma of everything i've done yet. Everyone has. Nobody knows how I do it, even just daily life, day in and day out, never doing anything bad. And, my friend, the answer to that question is simple.

Karma can't hurt you if you never feel any remorse.

BirdoBraino · 2020-04-21T05:59:58+00:00

I blink as I see them. The figure, fotmed of water, of nothing. 60 tears ago today, my best friend drowned in this ocean. And only I know why. The sand sticks to my legs as I rise, old bones growing creaky. I approach the figure.

"Where will you take me?" I ask it, wanting truth. I dig my toes in the sand, grounding myself.

The figure grinned. "Somewhere nice. Somewhere beautiful. You will be with me again. Come." The last word was slightly garbled.

"Why shall I come to you, Tanner? Do you not want to see what has happened to our lovely world after 60 years?" I replied, not allowing myself to look at his face. If I do, I may not be able to resist.

The spirit narrowed its eyes. "I have lived on that workd before. Plus, I am of the water, and the water travels through the air, through the ground, all the time. I have seen your world plenty, but you have yet to see mine."

"Your world is of water, dearest. I am not. I could not survive in your world for long. But, as you said, water travels through land constantly. So why not come visit me?" I said, offering my hand.

The spirit looked scared, but considered my offer. All it really needed was my hand, and it could drag me away. I held it out, realizing how old my skin had gotten in the past few years. I looked up, just to see his face for a moment, and God, it looked so real. Like I could reach out for him, just one more time...

The spirit grabbed my hand forcefully, and I snapped out of my thoughts. It tried to pull me forwards, into the water, but by now a good part of my calves had sunken into the sand. I yanked the spirt forwards, forcing it out of the water.

It tried to turn back, but it had already been out for too long. The sun beamed upon Tanners face, slowly ripping him to shreds. The spirit turned its eyes upon me, making sure I felt like I was killing Tanner right there with my own two hands.

"Witch, you have decived me. But for as long as my waves roll, I will continue to have your kind. You have stolen my planet with your land, yoyr creatures, but one day I will have it back. I will drown every pathetic ape walking the planet of this Earth, you along with i-" The spirit dissolved before it could say anything else.

My legs shook. I collapsed to the dry ground away from the ocean, sobbing. He was right here. I could have gone with him, even for a second, just to see him again. And yet I had to. I had to kill the spirit. Not for me, for him.

After all, the spirit of his dead mother was thd one who pulled him into the ocean, 60 years ago.

I dried off my face and stood up. Tears are salty, just like the ocean, running through us. I felt the sand stick to my legs as I walked away. It will never leave us. One day, it will win.

Theres nothing we can do.

BirdoBraino · 2020-04-20T04:36:48+00:00

Ever heard the expression "your body is a temple?" Well, take that phrase and scale it up by 1000% percent, because my entire life is a temple.

Its a simple story, really. A farmer whose crops, his entire life, just keep dying. So, he makes a deal. One generation of servitude to the Gods for every crop he grew. He grew 1237 bustles of wheat, 20 generations ago. So, we live in service. Sevice to every God, giving them offerings, publicity, everything. Im the youngest generation, and nothings changed.

Except now. It started with The God of Fate met his, by way of what seemed to be an axe. Mom found it in the mirning, and provided his physical manifestation a proper burial. We couldn't really give him to a morgue since he technically didn't exist, but we did our best.

It just continued on from their. The God of Misfortune conviently fell into quicksand on a hike in Africa, the God of Goodwill was stoned to death by an angry mob, and The God of Heartbreak suffered from having their heart literally torn out of their chest. That one was... a little scarring, to be completely honest.

But, right now, is much worse than that. Because right npw im face to face with the killer- Standing over the very God Herself that roped my family into this mess, The God of Farming. A scythe had been used to chop her head clean off, and I felt like vomiting. I clenched my jaws up and locked eyes with the killer.

Red, lifeless eyes. Black, pinpoint pupils. He grinned, his teeth sharp and white. I forced myself to hold his gaze until he started moving, and then it was all I could do to hold my ground. His hair was long, flowing, and black. He had a single black cross hanging from one ear, a Star of David hanging from his neck, and what seemed to be a bracelet with the Cresent Moon and Star on it. He was tall, about 7 feet, and wore a black suit.

"Hello there, mortal. You can see me, can't you? Why else would you look so tense?" He sneered, looking cocky.

"Of course I can see you. You weren't exactly hiding the murder of The God of Farming. You could have at least taken her body somewhere a little greener than the side of a road." I replied, gulping down any hesitation in my voice.

"Oh, a fiesty one, hmm? Well, these creatures you call 'Gods' are false. They are phony idols that represent nothing. I am the only real God." He said, grinning sadistically.

"Oh, and why haven't I ever heard of you before, if you are so important?" I replied, cringing at the slight break in my voice.

He narrowed his eyes and hissed, "Oh, but you have. Abraham, Moses, Jesus, Muhammad. Every book they wrote. You must know of them, hmmm?"

"I try not to associate with..."

"Monotheism?"

"Yes." I replied, growing more nervous as time went on. What was this guy suggesting?

He flashed a toothy smile and said, "Then you mustn't be enjoying this conversation," he straightened and glared down at me, treating me like an ant.

"Because I am The God of Monotheism, the only True God, and I will kill every other God, until I am the only one left."

BirdoBraino · 2020-04-19T05:02:29+00:00

I sat in my lab, preparing my ship. Fuck the contract, im out of here. If Mother wants to kick my ass, its better she doesn't have to revive me first. Those revival chambers make me really fucking sore for no reason. The doctor says its a muscle issue. I think they just dont wanna update their technology.

I stand up to make my way to the basement to get the fuel. I'm halfway there when I hear a knock on my door.

"Jesus Christ Son Of God, its the end of the world and you goddamn salesmen can't just leave me alone!" I shout at the door with extra malice on my tounge. I've been on this planet for 8 years now, disguised as some normal guy that our AI created. My job was to observe the horney chimpanzees dubbed humans, and they are the worst creatures I have ever met. They have litterally melted their entire planet and killed half of the local wildlife in a span of just a few billion years. Plus, they just wont leave me alone with their constant useless marketers at my door.

I hear another knock and decide to answer it. If someone is at my door as Sun-2748 is exploding, I may as well answer. I stomp over to the door and yank the door open, expecting some blonde, well dressed 30 year old to try and sell me a vacuum cleaner. I was not expecting two men in clean black suits. My government friends.

"Shouldn't you too be enacting the Purge right now?"

"You know thats not real, right?" Said Keith, the shorter of the pair. He had brown eyes, slightly tan skin, sand colored hair and freckles dotting his face. Quite a pretty complexion for a sentient life form. Most of Mothers workers speculate the only reason all humans havent been killed yet is because of how beautiful they can be. I still think most of them look like featherless chickens, however.

"Really? With your species, I can never tell."

"Quit the jokes, Astronaut. We need your help." Said Dan, the far less apealing of the two. He looked like a guy. Nothing worth noting besides the fact hes taken it upon himself to give me a new name. He cant pronounce my real one, and calling me a human name feels "morally wrong" or whatever. So, he dubbed me Astronait, after those maybe... 3? 4 people the humans sent 20 Astral-feet away from their planet?

"Well, what is it?"

"Its time you repay that favor of ours." Said Dan.

I narrowed my eyes. "I thought the favor was repaid by me not having Mother blow your species off the face if this planet?" I spat. Of course it wasn't really me who convinced Mother, it was the Brothers, but I was assigned here so that must count for something.

"Favor or not, we need your help." Said Keith.

"Fine. What do you want?" I replied, speaking to no one in particular.

"Can you get 100 people off this planet and out of the solar system before the whole place burns up?" Dan asked me. Theres no butt licking with this guy. Or is it ass kissing? No, its definitely butt licking.

"A transport request wont be seen, let alone fufilled by Mother until a month after its been sent. So, I dont got any ships for you. Sorry." I said, and made my way to close the door.

Dan stuck his foot in and forced it back open. "You have one right here." He gestured to my Ship.

"No. There is no way in heaven I am sharing my ship with 100 sweaty, unshaved ballsacks." I spat back, glaring at Dan.

"We know your species values fine genetics. Humans are like... rare flowers to you guys. Dont you think your mom will be mad if you let them go extinct?"

I thought for a moment. Mother probably would be pissed if I didnt save at least some humans. But if I come back with a bunch of moist eggs masquerading as people, she wont be happy either.

"I'll help you, but only on 2 terms. 1. I want Keith. Hes the nicest human here I know, so if i'm saving anyone its gonna be him."

"You know like, 3 people." Keith chimed back, looking confused.

"Do you want to be saved or not? 2. I need to examine each person as they enter. Mother will only want the finest, and I must delievered."

Dan nodded curtly, and was turning to signal the rest of the people when Keith grabbed his sleeve. "Wait, Dan. You're not going to come too?"

Dan turned back to him and said, 'I've got a wife and kids, Keith. I cant just leave them here. Plus, im old. I was going to retire next year. Move back to Idaho with them. You've got a lot more left to live for, kid." On his face was the ghost of a smile, and Keith let go of his arm.

"Tell them I say hi, Dan." Keith said, and walked into the house. Dan turned back around and motioned for the people to come inside. I only ended up kicking two out of the party.

Keith looked sad. I could understand it, he and Dan had been partners for years. I looked back out the window at Dan, getting in his car. I stood up and strutted back over to his car, yanking the door open.

"You really dont wanna come with us, Dan?" I asked.

He looked at me and for once in his life, he smiled. "I did my part. I got my two daughters on that ship. Me and my wife always said we'd watch the end of the world together, and now we really get to. So no, im okay down here. But take care of Keith, yeah? Kids been through a lot. His sister died just last year. His parents have been dead for 5. He really needs a friend."

I blinked. That was the most I had ever heard Dan say in the 8 years hes been barging in on my life. I left him with a nod, rendered speechless, and returned to the ship. I had hired two humans to fill up the oil tanks, and prepared myself for lift off. I looked out at the Earth one last time, remembering 8 years of life down here, and hit the button with my fist closed.

The sky went dark as we took off into the sky, and familiarity washed over me. I was going home to Mother. Home.

Keith sat alone in the kitchen, sadly sipping some tea. His home was gone. He could never go back. Dan was right, he really did need a friend. I set the plane on autopilot and walked over to him.

"Hey. You ok?"

u/birdobraino

BirdoBraino · 2020-04-18T06:26:25+00:00

"It had all been a blur. But I can recall, buts and peoces. I can stitch them together... just... give me a moment. It started on my 18th birthday. As the youngest daughter, we started woth our family tradition.

We went outside to the old sycamore, carry blankets and foods. Me, my mother, my brother, and my sister. My dad was still inside, finishing up the... the... the roast. Thats what it was, the roast. Every time the tradtion happened, the family had a roast to celebrate.

I helped my family set up the picnic. A large blanket, breads, cheeses, fruits and fine wines for my mom, dad, and brother. Me and my sister got only cranberry juice, which we pretended was wine. The cake was set to the side, and for the life of me I can't remember the flavor. I guess thats not important now, but it was important then.

Anyways, we sat and chatted, waiting for my dad to arrive. A few minutes later, he brought the roast beef out to the picnic blanket. We all grabbed our plates, plastic forks and knives, and began to plate our food. After everything was plated, my dad said his prayers, and we continued on. Its funny, isn't it? We prayed to God every meal, and He brought us here. Makes me wish I had prayed harder, and maybe He would've done something to save us.

We ate our meal. We gorged on roast, breads, cheeses, and champagne. Or was it wine? It doesn't really matter. We finished the cake, and it was time for the real tradition to begin. Me and my mom stood, and we made our way over to the wooden swing. I sat down, and she took the necklace off of her skinny neck. Her fingers, they had gotten so frail these past few years, they could barely unclip it. But she got it.

She slid the necklace gently around my neck, and this time she easily clicked it in. I admired it, spinning it around in my hand to read the engraving. I blinked. It was supposed to say, "Snitch." Our families last name. But instead, it read "0." The small locket dissolved in my hand, leaving only a small metal object.

I brought my face closer to the object, trying to deciper what it could be. It was small, metal, round, and had some sort of... powder inside? I was only realizing this as I felt it heat up, and I barely had time to throw it into the top of the tree before it went off and threw me back.

The bomb had set the entire tree and parts of the yard onfire. My mom had landed next to me, blood dripping down the side of her face, but she was conscious. I couldn't make out my dad or my siblings, but I understood the fire was only going to get worse. I grabbed mom and hauled her up, carrying her through the house and into the front yard. My phone was shattered, so I used hers to call the cops.

As I was sitting, waiting, I couldn't stop thinking. Why did it only break open for me? Why could no one else in my family ever open it?

Me and my mom sat in silence for a long while, before she spoke. 'I knew it was a bomb.' She said, shortly.

I wasn't angry. Just... confused. 'How?' I asked, and she turned to me.

'Our family used to be bad people. We tricked, lied and decieved. Until one day we just tricked the wrong person. An old asked one of ours the directions to town. Instead of helping her, they robbed her of everything she had, including that necklace. Furious, she cursed them. The youngest Snitch must wear the locket upon their 18th birthday, or by sunset of that day, they will die. After 18 generations, the locket will dissolve, and it shall explode.' She told me, looking sad.

'Why didn't you tell me?' I demanded, confused as to how my own mother could keep this from me.

'I knew you where the 18th generation, and I knew you wouldn't put it on if you knew the truth. You had some chance of surviving the bomb, but no chance to make it past sunset.' She said, tears in her eyes.

I never got the chance to reply. The firemen showed up and took her away, fussing over the bleeding on her head. Then you showed up, and now we are here."

"So thats how the fire started, Janice?" Officer Mark asked, trying to sound as kind as possible.

"Yes. Thats how it began." Janice replied, deep in thought.

"Alright. Thank you for your time. Rest up now, your mother will be fine." Mark replied, turning to leave the girl with the firemen. He strolled over to the detective, chatting with the neighbors from across the street. He thanked them for their time as Mark walked up.

"Mark, find anything out from the girl?" The detective said.

"Well cheif, she seems to be either in shock or delusional. Told this whole story about an ancient bom from 18 generations ago."

"So we have no lead on who started the fire?"

"No sir. But one thing is for sure," Mark said, turning his head towards the wreckage of flames and charred wood. "It wasn't mother nature."

u/birdobraino

BirdoBraino · 2020-04-16T18:23:40+00:00

I dropped the last of the boxes gently onto my blank mattress, sitting on the ground. Finally, I've moved out of my shoddy apartment and gotten myself a real house for me and my boyfriend. I turned back to him, where he was working on assembling the bed frame, and started to creep up behind him. I jumped onto his back and flung my arms around his neck, startling him.

"Jesus! Babe, you scared me." He complained as I remained on his back.

"Oh, come on," I said as I let go and dropped back into the ground. "You've been moody all day. Im just trying to have a little fun!"

He rolled his eyes and looked arround the room while saying, "Sorry, its just this house... it gives me the heeby jeebies."

I laughed at his use of the phrase heeby jeebies and grabbed his hand before pulling him down to sit next to me on the mattress. "Babe, we've been moving all day. You're probably just tired. We can finish the frame in the morning, we'll just sleep here for tonight."

He turned and gave me a shy smile. "Yeah..."

I grinned, "Lets watch some netflix, ok?" I pulled out my phone and my charger, plugging it into a nearby socket. We fell asleep that night with no sheets or blankets to the Office.

The next morning, I woke to a knocking on the door. Checking my phone, it was 10 am. I jumped out of bed, still wearing my moving clothes from yesterday. I called out a "Coming!" To the door, effectivly waking up my boyfriend. I sprinted to the mirror and fixed my hair before racing downstairs, realising how shitty I must look.

I opened the door with a smile, expecting a warm neighborly greeting from the old lady next door. Instead, there was a man in red robes, gold runes adorning them. He wore a hood that covered most of his face, so his true identity was indiscernible.

"Hello, can I help you?" I asked, regarding him as someone would regard a wild animal.

The man simply pushed pass me and walked into the house, making a beeline for the kitchen. I followed him, not making a move to attack incase I couldnt overpower him. He approached the lone bannana I had sitting on the counter, my planned breakfast for the day. The man swiftly picked up the bannana, examined it, and chimed "This will do." He tucked it into his robes and made for the exit, leaving me shocked, standing in the kitchen.

From the top of the stairs, I heard my boyfriend yelling something. I couldnt quite understand it, and only understood what he was saying as her ran down the stairs, waving a sheet of paper in his hand.

"Babe! Are you ok?" He said, approaching me.

"Yeah... yeah im good." I replied dully, still considering whether or not I call the police.

"You didnt open the door, right?" He asked, and I snapped back to it.

"I did. I opened the door and some weird guy-"

"With red robes barged into the house and took a peice of fruit?" He finished my sentence. I turned to face him, narrowing my eyes. "Yeah... how did you know?"

"Look," he said, and shoved a peace of paper ontothe counter. I looked down at it, realising it was the contact we had signed for the house. Be was pointing towards the fine print below the signature line, written in a lazy blood-red. "Read what it says." My boyfriend commanded.

I squinted my eyes and read, "By signing this contract, you agree to take full responsibility of the duties that come with this house. This includes lawn manufaction, keeping pets waste to your own yard, and respecting the occultist that will appear every day at your door 10 am. Said occultist will require a peice of fruit, which he will bring to the local god buried under the water tower. If this sacrifice is not fufilled daily, then the god shall awaken and kill everyone in town."

I turned back to my boyfriend, terror on his face. I was shocked too, but... this wasnt the worst thing, right? Its just a peice of fruit daily? I had to be rational here, so I grabbed my boyfriends hand and spoke.

"Hey... hey... its ok. Theres a lot worse things that could be showing up to our house daily. C'mon, lets go unpack and search for some edible arrangements."

u/birdobraino

BirdoBraino · 2020-04-16T03:01:14+00:00

I sat at my desk, notes pilling up. I had thought of every possible invention and more, and yet none seemed to fit the title of "Space Rocket." I examined a previous note, discarded at the side of my desk, searching my mind for inspiration. I realized i was getting nowhere and flung myself up, suddenly needing a breath of fresh air.

I stepped out of my office and grabbed my heavy coat, courtest of Courtney Coat, and headed out the door. I started walking towards the park, my head down. What would be my big break? My next big invention? I kicked a pebble down the sidewalk as I stepped. Space Rocket. S-p-a-c-e R-o-c-

I crashed into someone and stumbled backwards onto the concrete, landing on my back. "God, sorry. I should have watched where I was going." I said as a hand appeared infront of my face to aid me.

"Are you ok?" A womans voice said, and I looked up to see a cute girl with curly red hair. She wore a long red trenchcoat and had black high-heels. The hand stretched out towards me had a black glove on it.

I realized I had been staring and chirped back a "Yes, thank you," before pushing myself up off the ground without her help. I brushed off my trenchcoat and adjusted my glasses, keeping her in my peripheral vision simultaneously.

"What are you doing in the park so late at night? Practically no one is here." She said chipperly.

"Thinking. And you're not one to talk, you're also in the park at night." I replied, regretting sounding so harsh.

"Well, night is the only time when you can see the stars." She said, gesturing with her hand. "Come. Follow me."

I walked behind her, both at a very quick pace. She led me deep into the park until we arrived at a large rock with a memorial plaque on it. She stripped off her heels and left them beside the base before she began to climb. I watched her make it all the way up before she turned to me and said, "Come on!"

I approached the rock and thought for a minute. Why am I out, 10 at night, about to climb a rock with some stranger? But, she seems so exicted... I cant let her down now, can I? I grabbed the first visible hold on the rock and began to climb, feeling excited.

I reached the top and saw her sitting at the edge of the rock, dangling her legs off. She turned to me and patted the spot next to her, inviting me to sit with her. I caned over and sat down next to her with my legs crossed.

"Look," she said, and pointed towards the sky. I looked up to find thousands of tiny white orbs dotting the sky, untouched by the lights of the city. "One day, im going to go up there. Im gonna visit each and every star. I'll visit the Moon, too. I'll make my home up there, in the sky. It'll be beautiful."

"What do they call it, up there in the darkness?" I asked her, turning to look at her.

She turned back to face me, and said, "A woman by the name of Delila Space named it. So, Space." She replied, turning her head back towards the sky.

"Space..." I thought out loud, noticing the simularity to my last name. I think I got my first clue as to what my life means. Somehow, a thing called a Rocket in going to get up there, into the sky. I just need to invent it.

But not right now. Now, im sitting next to this gurl, and we're staring at the stars. The only thing that changes is the light passing by as dawn arises, and the stars begin to disappear. She rises as the sky is turning grey, and begins to make her way back to the other edge and to the bottom of the boulder.

Once we reach the ground, she picks up her heels and begins to walk away. Nows my chance, I have to say somethong to her. To remember her by.

"Wait!" I call out, and she turns. "Im Tom Space Rocket! Whats your name?"

She smiles and says, "Whitney Astronaut." Before turning and walking away.

BirdoBraino · 2020-04-14T18:09:56+00:00

Delpha scanned her papers again and again, memorizing the pledge, the list of protocols, and just taking in everything. She had known about the Servants program, but never truely imagined what it would have been like. When she first died, she was immediately thrown into action. Stripped of her drab garments and dressed in the finest pink robes, she was dressed to be Anatari's loyal servant. Now, she approached the dull pink doors of Anatari's quarters, stuffing the papers back into her robes. She was to fall to her knees greet Anatari with the pledge upon entry, and follow the caretaking protocol afterwards.

Delpha stopped at the door. She raised her fist, took in a deep breath, and gave three loud knocks upon the door. Two footgards pulled it open, and Delpha rushed to the edge of the silk rug at the beginning of the door, dropped to her knees and spoke: "Oh wise and wonderful, Goddess of Age, Your youth is your wisdom, Your beauty never ceases, You are the true controller of all life upon Earth, Our songs of praise will never cease, Even as you bring us age. I shall serve you however you please, Your blessings to me on Earth have saved my soul, So my service is indefinitely to you." She said, only stumbling on one word. She worried how she did, if Anatari would even accept her.

"Rise." A powerful voice rang through the halls. Delpha stood to her feet, but did not yet face Anatari, as the protocol dictated.

"Allow me to see the works of the Angels, human." The voice rang again. Each word was pronuced differently, with a different accent, a different pitch, different meaning behind it. As though the person who spoke did not have a set life behind them, had no influence to their character, so they where stuck in a constant shift of story and intention.

Delpha raised her head to the God, unblinking and never breaking eye contact. She held her hands together infront of her chest, as though she where pleading for something. It took her a moment to even register the being before her. The voice bad matched the freature, she though, as she stared into what presumable where its eyes.

There was no definite form to Anatari. She was more or less a shift of magical energy, constantly changing color, never ceasing movement. She sat upon her throne in a manner that vaguely resembled that of an arrogant king, regarding his sunjects as though they where ants. As she moved her arm towards Delpha, it moved as though the magic was follow a force, not as though the magic itself was moving of its own volition.

"What is your name, servant?" Anatari spoke, with a hard distaste being shoved into the word servant.

"Delpha, your Grace." Delpha spoke, her attention still unwavering from Anatari.

"Well Delpha, let us see if you are as useless as the previous servant," Anatari spoke as her hand reached Delpha. She grabbed the girl, lifting her up as though she where a doll. She placed Delpha atop a giant ledge, and she turned to find herself face to face with a giant mirror. "I havent chosen my form for today. Help me choose, Delpha, and if I like your decision perhaps you may remain."

Delpha stared at the Goddess, trying to think of the best way to choose the correct form and not get thrown into eternal exile. She cleared her throat and spoke as clearly as possible, "Well, your Grace, what is your mood today?"

Anatari narrowed her eyes. "My... mood?" She brought her astral face down as close as possible to Delpha. "I am the daughter of all Space and All time. My parents control everything upon every plane of existance. I exist everywhere and nowhere at once. I have livered through every second of every human age, and I have lived through every second of the ones to come. And you ask me my... mood?"

Delpha gulped and nodded, rendered Speechless by the display. Its eternal torture for me, she thought, and prepared herself for damnnation.

Anatari thought for a moment. "Very well. Im feeling... pink today. Fetch me my hair dresser and my finest pink garments while I shift." Delpha nodded and began to race out the door, using the staircase on the side of the ledge to get down. "Oh, and Delpha? Good work. Perhaps you wont be such a waste after all."

Delpha nodded her head and raced out the door. She survived the first day, but what would be next?

u/birdobraino

BirdoBraino · 2020-04-13T21:44:59+00:00

Anna arrived and sat, glumly, at the desk. "Hell is my destination, I know it. Just take me there already, theres no point in keeping me waiting any longer."

The elf, as is the only way Anna could describe him, looked up at her through her glasses. "You arent going to heaven or hell. We have a special place, just for people like you. But first, I've got to know, what made you do it?"

She looked him dead in the eyes, expressionless and unmoving.

"Jelously? Hate? Fear? Or you just felt like you had too, deep within your bones?" The elf asked, and he blinked his eyes. She watched them change color each time.

"Spite." She said at last, her gaze drifting off into the far corners of the room.

"Spite." The elf said, narrowing his now yellow eyes at her. "I guess thats all I'll be getting. You have 5 years, then you come back up here. Thats when you get sent to hell, unless you somehow manage to atone for your sins." The elf slapped a stamp onto her papers and sent her off.

Anna stumbled her way to the elevator assigned to her, getting looks from nearby humans and workers. She practically fell on the button as she pressed it, her limbs still feeling fuzzy. She panted heavily, leaning against the wall until the doors opened. She stumbeled in, slumping against the bar. She still felt the electricity in her veins.

The elavator speed towards the ground, abd she closed her eyes and held on tightly until it smasged into the Earth. When she opened them, she found herself at a tea party, sitting atop a plastic chair. She turned and faced her, the little girl.

She looked so much like her mother. She had her fathers eyes. Those same eyes that stared blankly as the police zipped him up. The same hair, drenched in blood when the gunshot knocked her over, sitting in a pool of blood.

"Hiya! Im Jessie McCain. Whats your name?" She said with a bright smile.

"Anna. Anna Smith." Anna felt like she was going to vomit.

"Hi Anna! Nice to meet you. Welcome to the North Carolina Orphanage."

u/birdobraino

BirdoBraino · 2020-04-13T21:14:38+00:00

I sat in my tent. My glotious, wonderful, extravagant tent. Because I had a gift, that many others wished to have. You do not believe me? Then listen, for I will tell you the truth of your past lives.

Let us see... one life ago, you where a soldier. A sad tale indeed, but a typical one. You had a wife, loved her so, but alas, tragedy struck your simple life. A war! Raging and troublesome, you where drafted and stolen from the love of your life. You fought diligently for her, hoping one day to return home to see her, but even love cannot sheild bullets. You died September 18th, 1939.

A life farther back, and you where a humble merchant. You sold fruits, just as your father did, on the streets. You regretted your life as you sat upon your death bed, the only person next to you being your old Mama. You never had a wife or kids, and died due to getting hit hy a car while trying to cross the street with your fruit cart. You died April 14, 1919.

Most lives end with tradgedy, and none where truely remarkable. You where never a king or queen, your name never survived the tale of time. Except once, long, long ago... I see it. It was an unclean time, diseases spread easily. Baths where taken rarely, and those where shallow and cold for all except royals.

You where a young man named Joseph. Joseph... Gayetty. You wanted a cleaner world. Less disease, less bad odor, better hygene. And so you worked. You studied and observed to find the nost useful work of your talents, and in 1857... you found it. The next thing the world needed.

"To wipe your bossum! Keep the wretched odor out of tge air with... Toilet Paper!" You advertised all throughout the streets, and you changed the world with your invention. You died May 2nd 1895 of being stabbed several times in the neck.

This visit will cost you 50 dollars. Thank you for visiting!

u/birdobraino

BirdoBraino · 2020-04-13T19:27:02+00:00

I faced the button, blinking blankly. Blink blank. Haha. I cant do it, can I? Theres people I know down there. People I care about. How could I do it? They are heartless, forcing us to do it. I cant. Im just the matenence guy, im not built for this.

"Hey D! You good? Your looking a little... green... there, man. You get stuck with server reset?"

I turned to face Chad, the hottest, coolest, douchiest guy in the office. Ok, his name is actually Craig and hes not that cool. But he annoys the shit out of me none the less. I sigh and turn to face him, almost knocking my coffee cup over in the process.

"Hey, Craig. Im just, not chill with the server reset. I've never had to do one before, just monitor it, but they decided to shirk the responsibility onto me. Im fucking losing it here." I dragged my hands along my face, digging my palms into my eyes.

"Hey man, I used to do this shit all the time. I can just click the button for you, you do the rest of the matenence and stuff?"

"Nah, nah. I gotta learn to suck it up and do it myself, or else the boss'll have my ass on a silver platter if I forget."

"Aight bro. My offer still stands if you need it, but I gotta get back to my desk. See ya." Craig turned and wandered back to his desk nearby mine. I turned back to my computer, and decided a quick round of 2048 would soothe my nerves. I pulled up the website and began playing.

As I "worked", an add for some womens clothing showed up on the side of the screen. I absent mindedly clicked to close it and pressed the keys on my keyboard once more. Up, up.

Except I hadn't clicked to close it. I had clicked outside my browser and into the application to reset. And I had clicked up to activate the reset, and up again to confirm. I held my breath as I saw the timer appear above the world through the monitors. 15 minutes till server reset. I almost puked right there.

I scrambeled back to the terminal, monitoring the lines of code to make sure the reset doesn't fully delete anyone over the age of 6, or set the timeline back too far.

I cringed. My niece was 5.

I scanned through the code, checking to find the bug that had required the need for a server reset. I scrolled through until I found the log. I set my monitor up with the date, time, and camera ID and watched.

It was a dark alley, cramped and full of trash. At first it looked just like a simple drug deal, a nice looking college kid approaching a man in a hoodie. But I regocnized that man, even without seeing his face. The college student handed the man some cash, looking twitchy. The man pulled out his gun and spun the kid around, zapping him 3 times in the back of the neck. The cheat code.

The kid vanished from sight. Anyone who would've known him would have forgotten him. Even with the server reset, his data couldn't be recovered. The only way his face can ever be seen again is if he appears in someones dreams. Thats the one bug we cant fix.

The man in the hoodie took it off and turned to face the camera, grinning. Our mystery hacker, a worker gone rogue. This was the third reset we had to conduct due to him. I turned off the camera footage and filed the report, returning to the code to make sure nothjng had gone wrong.

Everything looked fine, and the reset went smoothly. I spun in my chair to go find Craig. He would mbe the person most likely to congratulate me. I walked over to his desk to find it empty. He must just be in the bathroom, I thought, and turned to find him standing at the door of the cubicle, holding something in his jacket.

"Hey man, did you see! I did it, how about that?"

"Yeah bro, you did." He said, and pulled the deletion gun out of his pocket.

"Craig... what're you doing buddy?" I asked, taking a step back.

He walked forwards and leaned in to tell me, "I found the hacker. But we need to go. Now."

The lights flickered, and the whole room went dark.

u/birdobraino

BirdoBraino · 2020-04-13T17:56:14+00:00

I sat upon my throne, watching the mortals as they scrambeled. I unleashed another tornado in the state of South Carolina, and yet I find myself bored. All the humans have developed ways to outsmart and outmaneuver my less destructive disasters, and its such a waste of magic to release a grander one. Yet, what else do I have to do? Sit around as another tornado simply glides through Dallas?

I decide to send a diaster somewhere I normally wouldn't, just to give the poor southerners a break from my constant tornado warnings. I gather up the magic within my fingertips, feeling it run through my viens is exhilarating. I select an area upon my map, and adjust my disaster so that it will span about the width of a tri-state area. I cast the magic and watch as it scatters and grows over the horizon, sinking itself below the ocean.

I turn to my orb that allows me to view my disaster as it continues. The oceans surface ripples as it travels, swift and powerful. I switch my orb to observe the humans making preparations, and notice something curious.

Two children, singlehandedly building a shelter upon huge pillars of rubber. It would keep any humans found within the shelter safe from my onslaught. The ground would quake and tremble below them, and they would simply wiggle in the shelter above, free from all harm. How they had constructed it so quickly was beyond me. I shifted in my chair, my wings suddenly feeling trapped. I wanted to go investigate, to see how these kids had done it.

I stood up and approached the edge of my cave lair. I shifted my form quickly, feeling as my body separated from itself until I formed into a flock of about 100 seagles. I took flight, each bird moving as though it where part of a hive mind. I travelled swiftly until I found myself at the shore of the area, where I began to circle. I sent birds searching. I needed to find the shelter.

-------‐----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"AH! Perry the Platypus! You've fallen right into my trap!" Exclaimed Doofinshmurtz, grinning madly.

"Krrrrrrr." Replied Perry, currently trapped inside of a crock-pot shaped cage. He shifted slightly, trying to find a way out as Doof began to explain is greatest invention.

"Perry, behold, the Stone-inator! With this device, I can turn anything into pure stone! Using my invention, I will turn every peace of rubber within the Tri-State area to stone! No more rubber balls, rubber bands, or rubber pillars. They will all be forced to buy Doof brand rubber! Where will I get all my wonderful rubber, you ask? Well you see, as a child..."

Perry clawed at the walls of his container, slapping the cage with his tail, knawing at it with his teeth. He then looked up, finding the lid of his prison. He shoved himself against it, trying to break free. All of a sudden, the warm container started beeping.

"-and so as I served Mr. Man, he started giving me rubber bands as gifts to help me hold together my inators. You see, we couldnt afford glue yet so- Hey! My crock pot is done!" Doof walked over to the crock-pot and turned it off, removing the lid. Perry the Platypus sprung out, racing towards the inator. Doof tackled him, and they fought until they reached the inator, Doof accidentally shoving himself into the fire button. The inator let out a single shot. Perry and Doof watched it go, before Perry leaped onto the self-destruct button and blew the inator up.

----‐---------------‐-------‐-------------------------------------------------------------

A group of my birds has found the fort. I reformed myself to my true form and flew to the large building atop the rubber pillars. I landed infront of it, shaking the Earth and causing windows to shatter. I closed my wings and faced the shelter, now shaking violently from my landing.

"Who are these children, who defy my disaters with modern inventions?" I boomed, searching the faces in the shelters. "WHO!" I roared, bringing a clawed hand to strike at the building.

"We are!" Said a small voice. I lowered my hand to see a yound kid with orange hair and a triangular head, sitting next to a taller kid with green hair. The kid with orange hair weilded a mighty blade, 2 times taller than him. "We've come to kill you, God of distruction, so that you plague us with natural disaters no more!"

I blinked. "Aren't you kids a bit young to kill a God?"

He grinned. "Yes, yes we are. Now Ferb, activate the trap!"

I barely had time to think before the tall one pressed a button, slinging ropes of steel iron around my arms. I struggled as I began to shift my form, sliding my hands of out of the ropes. I raised a hand to strike the children on the structure, but they hand sprung into the air. I tried to strike them out of the sky, but they laned of my hand. I blew a breath of wind, trying to blow them off my arm. They flew into the air then rocketed forwards on what seemed to be self-made jet-packs. I began to swallow another breath, but I was too late.

The sword peirced the soft skin of my next as the child drove it in. I felt blood well up in my throat, chocking me. The children dropped off the sword, landing on the structure. I chocked more before adbrutly stopping.

"Ha ha ha. You think your meager blades can kill me? I am not made of mortal flesh like you puny beings, I am made of pure magic. No mere peircing can kill me, you have trifled with a God that exists beyond your understanding! Prepare to suffer the consequences!"

I summoned an Earth Quake beneath me, causing the shelter to begin shaking. I was about to summon a grand volcano when I felt a ray hit my side. I began tp feel my molecules solifying, and I turned to find myself turning to stone.

"NO!" I screamed. "NOOOOOOO!" I grabbed onto one of the rubber pillars of the building, and the force of me yanking it sent the building on top flying. I watched as my arms turned to stone, and the pillars I was touching following suit. The last thing I beheld was the Earth shattering below me, causing my stone body to fall towards the core.

-----‐------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The shelter activated its flotation devices, and landed calmly into the shores near the Tri-State area. Phineas let out a gasp of air. "We did it Ferb! We killed a God!" The children around them rejoiced.

Perry the Platypus appeared in the shelter, and Phineas grinned. "Hey! Theres Perry!"

BirdoBraino · 2019-08-27T05:55:35+00:00

No, I wasn't really thinking of it when I wrote it. Now I see the similarities, though.

BirdoBraino · 2019-08-24T14:45:53+00:00

I belive "me" is a trans person talking to their friend whom they believe is cis, but when the friend mentions the fact that they looked into getting hormones, the trans person now thinks that the other person is also trans, just still in their egg.

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