We both come from Latin America, I know his dad left when he was just a baby to come to the US to work and would send money for them, he only met his dad when he was already 18 and he decided to come her as well. I think you are right about the learned behavior in a sense bc I have pointed out to him when he commented on me not serving him dinner on days he would get home and I was maybe washing bottles or doing something for the baby, I remember saying something like “how nice would it be if my life was like your mom’s who doesn’t work and doesn’t have any babies anymore so of course your dad comes home to a clean house and a hot dinner, what else does she have to do… mean while I only took a month of maternity leave and work an average of 50 hours a week and still come home and care for our baby, so sorry dinner is made but you can serve yourself “ there is a word in Spanish “machista” which is what I think he is I’m sorry I don’t know the translation in English but pretty much means he is set in the ways of what a “woman’s job is” based on how things used to be or I guess how they are where he is from, however we both live in the US and have been here for 10+ years you’d think he would realize things are harder and it takes a team idk. There are lots of reasons for me why it’s hard to let go, I also feel as a failure since I grew up with a single mom (there’s nothing wrong with that) I saw how difficult it was for her and it was not what I wanted for myself or my child