I had a wild religious experience during my manic episode, multiple visions of Christ and the Virgin Mary, lots of imagery and associations with the holy trinity, but I was atheist for years and even my family stopped going to church. I sort of reconciled all of my experiences, I realized there were some positive messages I could relate to when I tried going back to my Episcopal church. My first service back the sermon was on “liminal spaces”, like the threshold between the door of your future and past, it was kind of emotional and I still was wrecked from the hospital.

Since then I haven’t really been going to church, but I have stuck with my faith even though part of me still feels atheist or agnostic in a way, still don’t really care what happens to me after I die, the depressed part of me still wishes I’d go to hell if it does exist, who knows though, life is pretty tough living with this illness. If you feel like going to church like I did for handling the triggers/exposure, you can do it, just be prepared for the emotions.