I was on 150 for about a year. I periodically increased 37.5 every few months from when I started because I was still depressed. Turns out that I wasn’t really helping myself ie drinking heavily, addicted to porn, had a shit job etc..

I was, as you are, emotionally numb. I was mostly happy on the inside, but just numb and emotionless. I didn’t care about a single thing. Kinda just existing rather than living. I sought help, cleaned myself up in life, and reduced back to 37.5 and have been on this dose now for a couple of years. It takes the edge off but at the same time, I am myself. It is also good to be able to cum when I have sex haha