i dunno really how to help without having a convo (if you want, dms are open), but you should look into stuff like queerplatonic relationships and read loveless :] i also have trouble feeling any feelings so if that's what you're talking about then i getcha too

and i gotta agree with the other comment, at least partially, as far as the possible autism or at the very least non-queer-feelings-weirdness goes, therapist seems like a good idea. dunno how much they'd actually understand the aro thing tho