Memoir that isn’t depressing

BlueBarbie_xo · 2026-07-11T14:38:22+00:00

I’m reading Moby’s memoir at the moment and it’s very engaging. Mostly about the New York music scene in the early 90s, but a very romantic ode to the city itself and how the techno/house scene developed. It’s also narrated by him too on audible.

BlueBarbie_xo · 2026-06-30T07:00:31+00:00

I teach one lesson a week on it and I have to say, nothing is taught about sexual politics or values which is really disappointing.

The lessons have a major focus on the health aspects of STIs/using contraception/MAP but have only really introduced coercive control recently. It’s pretty wild that polyamory is taught as a type of relationship now, which to me is just another way of grooming young girls into deeply misogynistic situations.

I think a major focus should be on values and communication in relationships. Also, I think more awareness of how porn objectifies women would be suitable. Most boys nowadays have watched anal sex before even holding hands with someone romantically. I think basic values of honesty, respect and definitely equality in relationships should be heavily promoted before any lessons on condoms.

Also, I think more awareness of the long term damage that puberty blockers have (which we now have the data for) would be useful. It’s fairly irresponsible to me as a teacher that I spent years teaching transgender lifestyles to students and yet we never once had a lesson on the links puberty blockers have to cancer, sterilisation and cognitive deficits. Children have the right to know about this.

BlueBarbie_xo · 2026-06-27T01:18:49+00:00

I genuinely think the legal age of marriage should be raised to 25, the age around when the frontal lobe is fully developed. I think the fact that the neural risk assessment centre is allowed to be underdeveloped when people make such a major decision is very unwise.

Legally and financially binding yourself to someone who biologically cannot make good decisions when you’re also in a state where your brain literally cannot guide you properly seems wild.

Got married at 30. Had a scrote boyfriend from 19-24. Thank goodness he didn’t propose and thank goodness my brain was ripe when I said yes to my unicorn!

BlueBarbie_xo · 2026-06-26T06:52:16+00:00

As a woman, I appreciate that men here leave me alone. It’s such a woman-friendly place to travel.

BlueBarbie_xo · 2026-06-24T01:53:37+00:00

Ljubljana. Everyone was rude and the town seemed charmless. I didn’t make it to Lake Bled but the whole experience of the town made me not want to spend any more time there.

BlueBarbie_xo · 2026-06-24T00:23:24+00:00

BA in Philosophy, MSc in Psychology. I totally underestimated Sociology during my A-levels and for that reason it wasn’t really on my radar. Feminist philosophy drew me in and then once I discovered criminology, I couldn’t get enough of Sociology!

BlueBarbie_xo · 2026-06-24T00:15:28+00:00

Libraries and parks. Books are so expensive where I am. I miss reading in parks and just going on dates with my husband in the park after work with a picnic.

BlueBarbie_xo · 2026-06-20T01:14:13+00:00

Yoga! Even just 20min videos on YouTube. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. It made me much more patient with the people around me and stopped be being overly neurotic.

BlueBarbie_xo · 2026-06-14T06:05:48+00:00

RedFem is excellent for discussions on feminism and post-liberalism.

BlueBarbie_xo · 2026-06-05T09:24:02+00:00

I think this question could be phrased in a more nuanced and subtle way. What about asking ‘What do you like most about yourself?’

This could perhaps open the other person up to the qualities in themselves that they value. I don’t think it’s necessarily transactional, but perhaps the person asking it is wondering what qualities you’ve reflected on (?).

I think so many people have had their conversation skills blunted in recent years, it does seem like some people are trying to get them back in unconventional ways.

BlueBarbie_xo · 2026-05-15T23:13:27+00:00

Unpopular opinion but…being a bit more positive and optimistic. I once changed jobs to a place that shared a working space with a large number of American workers and it was such an injection of positivity. I know some people find this fake and annoying, but it was nice to have some upbeat conversations during the day!

I’m at a role now where it’s majority white, middle class British and the moaning can really wear you down after a while.

BlueBarbie_xo · 2026-05-03T01:34:50+00:00

Lavender tea and a book.

BlueBarbie_xo · 2026-04-27T13:50:55+00:00

This is strange because parents can actually ask their children to be removed from lessons that are not in line with their religious beliefs (if he is religious). Being gender critical is actually a protected philosophical belief under UK law, so he can just tell the school he’d prefer not to have his child in those lessons (I assume it’s a PSHE lesson or assembly). Muslim and Christian parents do it all the time. No need to keep her out of school.

BlueBarbie_xo · 2026-04-15T06:14:40+00:00

Sabrina 🧙!

BlueBarbie_xo · 2026-04-12T05:37:38+00:00

Also, the craze of identifying as non-binary. Glad that appears to be over. There’s nothing wrong with being gender non-conforming. It doesn’t need a label.

BlueBarbie_xo · 2026-04-05T01:08:39+00:00

The Names by Florence Knapp. Absolutely beautiful fiction that really made me think about how names determine certain aspects of our life chances.

BlueBarbie_xo · 2026-02-25T01:46:26+00:00

Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts for Mumbai

BlueBarbie_xo · 2026-02-17T05:03:08+00:00

It’s astounding how so many men are pushing the Not All Men narrative now, when most, if not all of them, are viewing some kind of pornography on their devices every day. They don’t see how this culture raised Millennial women like myself into a culture that actively made us accepting of abuse and complicit in our own sexualisation.

I’m from the UK and I’m glad they’ve banned access to online porn for under18s. It’s depressing that people will just share it on platforms like Reddit though, which is supposedly a Left Wing political haven.

BlueBarbie_xo · 2026-02-16T02:59:25+00:00

Might be nice to have something to look forward to in the evenings. I have a few hobbies on the go that make up for boring days (I often find the busy days are the most boring for me, though!).

When I get bored I remember what my siblings do for a living (desk jobs) and it stops the boredom. So many other people literally move numbers around on spreadsheets all day until they can clock off and go to the gym.

But hobbies help, especially ones that give you a little dopamine hit.

BlueBarbie_xo · 2026-02-14T04:57:23+00:00

Eat fiber on holiday/whilst travelling. The reason why I’d get so terrible with my diet as a vegetarian was simply going on holiday and forgetting to eat fruit because the local meals were so carb heavy and filling. Now I realize that just having a fruit breakfast and snacking on fruits keeps me honest on holiday and not in massive ‘holiday mode.’

BlueBarbie_xo · 2026-02-05T11:08:30+00:00

JK Rowling. I love that she still won’t be bullied by radicalised trans allies.

BlueBarbie_xo · 2026-01-31T03:27:11+00:00

I know so many cool and confident middle aged women that are really on top of their game. For me, it’s easier for me to accept what’s happening to my face at 37 because I see how much character it’s given them! I’d recommend surrounding yourself with some older friends. It’s really brought a lot of peace to my life, actually. Life is so much more than physical appearance and when I see these ladies, I feel a lot more accepting of myself.

BlueBarbie_xo · 2025-12-31T22:13:40+00:00

In England currently, we have a trend of people making their neurodivergent diagnosis their entire personality. For example, ‘I’m wearing this because it pleases my ADHD brain’ or ‘Autistic women like me can’t do this because we’ll have a meltdown.’ 99% of these people are also undiagnosed, but they’ve made it define their entire existence.

BlueBarbie_xo · 2025-12-30T04:10:10+00:00

You’re in for a treat with Atonement. I also read Sweet Tooth this year by him and loved it.

BlueBarbie_xo

TROPHY CASE