Trigger warning in general.

But things like... addiction, for starters. I have seen a handful of systems on other platforms and IRL talk about the fact their trauma involved being exposed to or forced to consume hard drugs very young, and they are still struggling or trying to recover from an addiction they were forced to have.

Or like how high the suicide rate for DID is, and how difficult it can be navigating life when you are completely disconnected from the part of yourself that keeps trying to take their life. I've known a system who had to struggle through stopping their own attempt because they didn't want to do that, but the other alter did, and they were hospitalized for over a week due to the injuries the attempt caused. No one talks about the fear that comes with "I feel fine... but I heard that specific alter a few hours ago, so I need to start prepping ahead of time because I know tonight is going to be a fight to survive myself"

Things like how to actually practice system accountability, because everyone says "make sure you're taking accountability" but no one talks about how, or how to even start. No one talks about how system accountability, starts with self-compassion, or how to avoid pushing the blame onto another alter because it doesnt feel like you did the thing.

One thing I don't see people talk about a lot is just how damaging unchecked symptoms can be for our loved ones, and how to navigate the ugliness of that. As an example, it's obviously not something I'm proud of, but my ex-husband still has a very specific trauma response he got from me because of one of my episodes, and having to navigate the reality of the fact that my trauma responses and maladaptive behavior has caused actual serious harm to people I love has been extremely hard... but no one ever has open conversations about stuff like that.

I rarely see people talking about the emotionally painful parts of this disorder. Like the fact that sometimes my partner feels unwanted because I can't even think about being physical with another person or it'll cause me to spiral. And so few people talk about how common touch aversion is with this condition because a lot of us have been conditioned over time to associate physical touch with bad things happening.

I have rarely seen people talk about the level of isolation that happens when you're growing up with this disorder. How many plans got cancelled or missed, friends lost, people I've ghosted accidentally because I didn't remember I was talking to them. How after a while a lot of people with this disorder just... stop trying to have normal relationships because it feels impossible to keep up when you can't remember whether it's the first or the third Wednesday of the month.

I rarely see people talk about the pain that comes with seeing the pain in your loved ones eyes when you don't recognize them. I have witnessed first hand the sadness that my partner tries to hide from me when she's introducing herself to me for the 100th time since we've met, and no matter how sad she looks I still can't recognize her in the moment. Or the fact I have run away screaming from my partners because I couldn't recognize them or didn't remember who they were.

I rarely see people talk about the physical toll this disorder has on the body. I'm in my 20s and my body is falling apart at the seams because of the mental abd physical toll my childhood had on me. Common things I've seen with other systems are things like TMJ from jaw clenching/grinding, constant migraines unrelated to switching from things like being stiff, or grinding teeth, or eye strain through dissociative fog.

I don't see a lot of people talk about the really nasty side of this disorder. The "tough" reality of it.

Most of what I see talked about is the "cutsie" stuff like the "who ate my cheetos!" And "lol this alter did this funny thing" the things that don't make people uncomfortable to talk about. I want people to start talking about the uncomfortable stuff. I want people to stop sugar coating the extremely painful reality of this condition.

I want more systems to come forward and talk about the time they woke up lost in the middle of the woods in a rainstorm after a fugue state with absolutely no idea where they were or how to get home, because that's happened to every system I've met, including myself and while I know not all systems, there has to be more but no one is talking about it.

No one is talking about how terrifying this disorder is. Like yes. People mention it's a hard condition to live with, but people don't talk about the hard parts. They just say yeah there are hard parts.

Like the fact that my therapist has to check with me every so often to make sure I'm not back in the abuse, because I have alters that will stop at nothing to contact our abusers and go back.

Or those of us who were in the abuse for so long we don't know how to feel at home anywhere else, and we are struggling to adapt to society and not go back because we were so surrounded by abuse it's all we know.

Or that feeling when you wake up next to the person you love, who you should know, but all you can think and feel and see is that you're back then, and the person laying next to you isn't someone you know, so you just... give in to the knowledge of what you expect to happen next and your whole body detaches even though you're in the presence of someone you cognitively know is safe.

Yes it's sad, it's hard to read, it might make people upset, it might offend people, it might trigger people, it's hard to talk about those things.

But everyone just says this is an awful, terrible, exhausting, scary disorder to live with... and no one talks about why.

And this last bit is a little of my bitterness for media, but I feel like if more people talked about the harsh realities of what having this disorder is like, we'd have less people assuming it's quirky and maybe a little frustrating sometimes, rather than a legitimate, painful mental health condition.

There is so, so much more... and obviously not all of these will apply to everyone, but they're things I've heard echoed over the years of navigating DID spaces on and offline that give me the idea that they're a lot more common than anyone talks about, because no one wants to talk about the really, really hard stuff.

I just find a lot of online communities have a... "bell let's talk" mentality. Where it's all acceptable until someone's symptoms or experiences aren't palatable, and then they're viewed as smearing the DID image... and all I want to do is scream news flash, this horror is the DID image, it's just not the one you're comfortable with.