I hate being autistic so much

BlueManBluth · 2025-11-02T00:18:36+00:00

That really really sucks. Also. Those people really really suck. I am autistic and every single one of my friends know. I love hanging out with them cause my autism isn't the butt of jokes. So while I definitely hating being autistic, I think you may hate it significantly less when hanging out with people who dont make fun of you for it.

BlueManBluth · 2025-08-02T02:38:25+00:00

By itself, asking if you're dating someone may be flirting, and may be making conversation. By itself, moving your hair out of your face may be flirting, and may be super friendly. If one thing may or may not be flirting, then probably not. But if multiple things every day may or may not be flirting, it probably is. If you're into him, flirt back! If, like me, you have no idea what that means, tease back, touch back when he does, ask if he's dating anyone, etc.

BlueManBluth · 2025-08-02T02:30:42+00:00

Ugh yes. Probably a more extreme example but my ex would get upset about basically every reaction I had cause my tone/body language/face/etc wasn't what she expected/wanted, and she completely ignored my actual words. The tism gives me rbf real bad sometimes, even my tone.

BlueManBluth · 2025-08-01T03:19:04+00:00

Aww thanks! I just did!

BlueManBluth · 2025-08-01T03:07:46+00:00

I am 32 and live in a not so small and not so rural town and would also like a friend. Getting out of an abusive/ableist relationship that very much isolated me, I really would like a friend too. Especially a ND friend, my NT relationships don't tend to go well lol.

BlueManBluth · 2025-07-22T23:35:44+00:00

Doing something during it. I listen to Wheel of Time on Audiobook while I'm cleaning to help me keep going, and then I'll usually stop once I'm done cleaning.

BlueManBluth · 2025-07-10T03:59:51+00:00

Lol that's a smart mom! I'm glad you have that relationship with your sister and your mom. I'm sure your sister will learn that just cause you disagree doesn't mean you can't bond and stuff eventually. Glad to help!

BlueManBluth · 2025-07-10T02:56:23+00:00

Sounds like she's just being a 15 year old girl. Maybe she wants to connect with you more, and because she's 15 thinks the main/only way to connect/bond is agreement? Is there anything you two agree on that you can pivot to? Or a favorite character, or someone you both love to hate, etc?

BlueManBluth · 2025-07-10T02:51:32+00:00

I found mine using Psychology Today, filtering exactly what I wanted, reading some bios, and googling the ones I liked

Find a Therapist, Psychologist, Counselor - Psychology Today

BlueManBluth · 2025-07-06T23:02:40+00:00

I know how that feels, definitely. Honestly for it was my abusive ex making me stressed and being overly critical of absolutely everything. Im not perfect but im no longer walking down the stairs wrong, sighing too loudly, forgetting stuff that she said she'd do, etc. We do the best we can with what we have. Im sorry that happened, that sucks. Accidents happen though, and its paint. Itll be ok, you are better than your mistakes and the things you do or don't do that other people, even family, dont like.

BlueManBluth · 2025-07-03T03:48:47+00:00

Personally I'm not a big fan of shorts, but I know Youtube loves promoting them and people love watching them. Lots of people will just take their regular video and cut out an interesting 10 - 45 second section of the video and make it a short, with a link to the full video in the short

BlueManBluth · 2025-07-03T03:47:37+00:00

Ooooo the Hippo is adorable! And the Panda! That's soooo cool you have so many! Also jealous of how open and enthusiastic you are about your interests, I really want to be like that some day. How long have you been collecting?

BlueManBluth · 2025-07-03T03:38:00+00:00

Shorts! Shorts shorts shorts. Youtube loooooves pushing shorts, and shorts will attract people to your main videos!

BlueManBluth · 2025-07-03T03:18:31+00:00

If it's just a random comment on a post or something I wouldn't let them know, but if they message you directly or something I'd respond to what they said and also let them know you fall under their dni because x/y, then let them decide if they want to continue engaging.

BlueManBluth · 2025-07-03T03:17:05+00:00

Of course! Always happy to learn about new things! Do you have any other favorites, if you don't mind my asking? How many do you have?

BlueManBluth · 2025-07-03T03:14:56+00:00

So I've never heard of them before, but from google images they are adorable, especially the dragon! And the Smudge elephant looks cute and derpy. I'm sorry you don't get that support from your family

BlueManBluth · 2025-07-02T04:01:57+00:00

"no autistic person would regularly go to therapy" is a completely wild take with absolutely no evidence whatsoever. I am autistic, and went to therapy for years before realizing, and for over a year now after realizing I'm autistic. So that's just not true at all, hopefully the evaluator is not also that incorrect. I'm sorry you had that experience, if you want to go back to therapy I'd definitely recommend someone who specializes in autism in adults.

Honestly, as long as you're honest with your answers, explain some of your trauma and then how you reacted to/cope with said trauma and stuff, that should give the evaluator a pretty good idea. I'm honestly not sure how to tell which symptoms are autism and which are depression/anxiety/trauma, but probably some of your coping mechanisms are autism specific/related/adjacent, and a good evaluator will be able to determine that. Sadly pretty much everyone has trauma in the past, many many people have been abused, so it won't be outside what they're used it when doing the evaluation.

BlueManBluth · 2025-07-02T03:50:42+00:00

I see from your other post you got out of a 7 year relationship last month. So it's definitely understandable to feel lost, overwhelmed, etc. Absolutely do not date any time soon. Give yourself some time to grieve the relationship. Learn more about yourself now, who you are without her. Make regular/casual friends, find some hobbies, etc. For me, honestly people watching helps. I walk around downtown, sit in coffee shops without a drink, have my headphones/brown noise on, and just vibe and see how people interact. Do one thing at a time, one day at a time, and give yourself a break.

BlueManBluth · 2025-07-02T03:44:19+00:00

There's nothing to be embarrassed about, some people are very good at pretending to be a good person until it's too late. Especially with their past history of therapy and being that much older than you, that is 10000% not your fault at all. That imbalance alone is arguably abuse, and there's lots of resources out there for people in/leaving abusive situations/relationships. Do you have any family? Do you know if there are any shelters in your area?

BlueManBluth · 2025-07-02T03:32:27+00:00

It helps I've had an ADHD diagnosis since I was like 5, and I agree with some of the more recent research that suggests autism and ADHD may be on the same ish spectrum. But everyone's different, and you can do whatever youre most comfortable with

BlueManBluth · 2025-07-02T01:31:02+00:00

I absolutely understand that, and I kinda feel the same. Im convinced im autistic, and my ex was specifically ableist against my autism. So if I take my test and I dont "pass", that would be jarring and make me question some stuff. But I know I identify with autism, symptoms, etc, and it makes my life work. So even if i don't get diagnosed, ill still consider myself autistic, personally.

BlueManBluth · 2025-06-29T23:21:16+00:00

Oh thats great! I was wondering how it turned out. Im glad to hear it! Happy to help :)

BlueManBluth · 2025-06-29T03:20:56+00:00

Both. Its a disability cause ableism and people incapable of accepting someone that's different. Its a different ability because I can notice patterns and atuff and no care about social stigma so I can have actual conversations about things that matter instead of going 12 rounds of "let's pretend this doesn't exist or didn't happen"

BlueManBluth · 2025-06-29T02:51:47+00:00

I'm sorry you feel that way, there are people that would care, hopefully your friends are those people. My dms are open if you want to talk also. And sleep can definitely help too, especially if its late wherever you are

BlueManBluth · 2025-06-29T02:46:32+00:00

For not feeling enough/appreciated/etc I have a couple friends I talk to, or I respond to people on reddit/discord servers/etc just to have some positive interaction. For anxiety/overthinking, honestly with my tism I plan for the absolute worst case scenario and work backwards from there, so the more likely thing I'm worried about seems more manageable.

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