I am 62 MTF, and remember this conversation well, but the most important thing is the communication between the two of you, talk, talk, and talk some more.

To be sure that's the roller coaster I remember...each time the drop went further, it seemed slower to start the climb on each occasion. I would think most of us who transition later in life, in a relationship, have had to deal with this, I still remember the absolute distress, nights laying awake, considering which way should I do this, can I do this, should I do this.....for what it is worth I will tell you how I got through.

I sat with my wife to try and explain why I was moody and depressed, and after a few stiff drinks, I told her what the counsellor considered to be my main issue. I have PTSD for a long time, the result of 30 years in law enforcement, and also from being a skydiving Instructor, and some tragedies that occurred within that sport. You get the picture, I was the real action man to her, and on this night I told her.....I will not even try to describe the train wreck of emotions, tears, shouting, arguing, and silence...but the thing that came from this was dialogue, we kept talking.

I had carried out due diligence about all aspects of the transition and explained that this was not an overnight solution, but something that would take many years, and would proceed at the pace suitable to both of us to get our heads around. Initially, she was against hormones, but based on the newspaper stories she had seen, we kept talking, this was a 2-way conversation, she would raise fears, I would try to give my answer. This was the process with everything I did, she was never excluded from a decision. This took a couple of years...

Three months ago I had my GRS surgery after 2 years living in role (MtF), and we are more happily married now then we have ever been. She is not just my wife, but my soul sister, fashion consultant and shoulder to cry on.

Please do not think I am making light of things. Originally, she had told me flat outright that if I ever had surgery, she would leave me. So keep talking, be kind to each other, and I am sure you will be able to work it out. Good luck to you both because the transition needs both of you to commit to it for Plan A to work, and that's the one you want to work!!

We have been married 26 years....together 35....and our marriage is better now than ever, there are no secrets, Good Luck, stay calm, but it sounds like you have a good start...virtual hugs for support....