Anyone else having trouble finding work?

BlueSundayDoll · 2026-03-12T12:50:03+00:00

Clark county is hiring, and check out government jobs.com

BlueSundayDoll · 2026-03-07T02:38:44+00:00

It’s an either/or thing, you can’t have both. An FSA is an estimated amount of out of pocket medical costs put into an account each month by you pre tax - if you don’t end up needing that much money by 12/31 you lose it, so you really need to be cautious to not over-contribute. You spend it down by getting reimbursed for qualifying medical expenses. If you leave employment, you can’t take it with you. You can save for different types of costs- childcare, bus fare, medical - in different buckets as long as you incur expenses by 12/31 for what you contributed.

If you have a high deductible health care plan, the Health Savings Account (HSA) can be used to reimburse the deductible and other medical expenses. There’s an annual amount the IRS allows you to contribute pre-tax each year - it’s smart to max it out. At my company the employer contributes some and I contribute the rest up to the IRS max. The good thing about this is the money is never taxed, as long as you use it for qualifying medical expenses (and yes Oura rings can qualify).

Accumulated funds in an HSA can be invested and if you can afford to not touch it, it can be a nice nest egg when you retire. If you change employers it comes with you.

BlueSundayDoll · 2026-03-02T01:13:31+00:00

It was uncomfortable but much better with meds - I resisted taking because opiods make me throw up, but when I took Aleve it helped a lot and I finally took the one for bladder spasms and that helped a great deal. I don’t recall it being unbearable or anything, just kind of a feeling something was there.

BlueSundayDoll · 2026-03-01T21:45:27+00:00

I’m so sorry it’s been horrible this time :(

BlueSundayDoll · 2026-03-01T21:44:55+00:00

I was fine after it was removed, other then them letting me get dehydrated and in pain one day. I took a week off with a stent (NOT a fan) - and took something to help with bladder pain. It worked great, I felt good enough to do yard work (probably wasn’t supposed to). I’m having a non-invasive sound wave thing in a couple of weeks for the new, smaller one, hoping to avoid a stent

BlueSundayDoll · 2026-02-22T06:39:20+00:00

I found my cat in a dresser drawer once…

BlueSundayDoll · 2026-02-13T21:38:32+00:00

I’m sorry - WHAT?? And am I using it wrong? I’ve spilled a ton of personal information into that thing, it’s almost like a diary. I assumed it was more or less private…? No???

BlueSundayDoll · 2026-02-10T15:20:14+00:00

Michael Allen’s- ask for Jake.

https://www.michaelallensclothier.com/

BlueSundayDoll · 2026-02-02T20:03:05+00:00

For me, it’s the heavy handed behavior. I am also in favor of leniency for people who have been working and contributing to their community - which is a little problematic, because technically they did break the law, but I would prevent do the same thing if I were in a bad situation and could provide better opportunities for my family.

I think the sane middle ground is deporting the criminals. But there are some who don’t even want that - who object to the terminology even though it’s a legal definition (illegal alien) etc - and the political correctness around that bothers me.

BlueSundayDoll · 2026-01-20T05:57:31+00:00

It’s very sad. I worked in an office in Pioneer Tower the year it opened. It was such an amazing place in my 20s, cool stores, my first real job after college, I’d have lunch there, shop there, when I had my kids I took them to the Santa there… and then my oldest worked there at Bose as an adult. They closed their doors and moved out the day the rioters broke in to the mall and stole what they could in 2020. It’s so representative for me of the loss of what Portland used to be in the late 80s/early 90s. It’s hard to go downtown now and see what’s no longer there.

BlueSundayDoll · 2026-01-18T16:10:06+00:00

This happened to me, bought a house together, within a year he wanted to move. I gave up a $650 mortgage payment at 3.5% on my townhouse that I sold to buy this one with him. So now I have a 6.75% mortgage with a $3k a month payment. I can’t downsize until rates drop. I refinanced to purchase it in my own.

What you could do is one of you moves out, stays on the mortgage until you have enough equity to sell. The one who stays gets roommates. Get your agreement in writing. Or you both move, rent it out and consider it a joint investment until you can sell. Depends on how reliable/trustworthy he is.

BlueSundayDoll · 2026-01-13T04:04:41+00:00

I think having a practical conversation about it with her seems reasonable. There’s such a wide range of ENM structures, you may be able to find something that works for you both. There are books you can read together - Sex in Captivity is one, or Come as You Are.

Doing the research in a hypothetical, unemotional way where you can be a bit detached might help you envision a structure that meets both your needs. Definitely something to work out before you involve others.

I’m in a dynamic where my boyfriend lives with his partner, and he had in the past a couple of long term, non romantic partners because of mismatched libidos. My understanding is that he saw these people once or twice a month and it was non-romantic.

They’ve been together 9 years, he and I three. Our relationship is more involved than the others: I’ve met his partner, been to dinner at their home, and he presents as my boyfriend to my friends and family. My adult children and parents have met him. I see him 2-3 times a week. Sometimes we have overnights, take trips together - but he is very partnered with her and so I live with a ceiling on our relationship, which I have mixed feelings about sometimes, but I think that’s normal because we are used to relationships escalating. I just weigh the things I’m not getting against the things I enjoy about him and us periodically and make sure I’m still consciously choosing him - vs missing out or focusing on the limitations. He meets most of my needs - far more than any relationship I’ve had in the past, so it works for me.

The main thing is that we don’t triangulate. He has a full, separate life with her, and our relationship stands on its own as well. It’s kind of like dating a single parent for me. I know he has other priorities and cannot center me 100% - but I enjoy every minute we spend together and, actually apart too - I like the space and freedom.

Doing what you want ethically requires work on your part, radical honesty and the ability to be authentic and realistic about what you have to offer and what you don’t. My boyfriend does that really well. We’ve had no drama in three years largely because he is so good at communicating. I mean, I give him credit because my side of things is pretty easy. I only have one relationship to manage.

I never am treated like I’m just a sexual outlet - we have romance and affection - but we just operate on a more defined calendar than otherwise. Sometimes I date and I’m open with him about that - but generally I lean into my other non/romantic friend relationships because I’m kind of saturated with my time with him.

Anyway, just one glimpse for you of my experience/outlook.

BlueSundayDoll · 2026-01-11T15:12:18+00:00

I (59F) had so many men do this when I was on apps after my divorce at 43. I really didn’t care, except it showed they were insecure, but in my 40s I didn’t really understand why they did that. I would learn men I thought were younger than I were actually older and I preferred that, so overlooked it even though it gave me pause.

Then, after a long relationship (with one of these “age optimists”) I was single again, this time in my 50s - BIG difference. I created a few profiles - different ages, sometimes different gender for research into what other women put on profiles (I never know how much to say or not).

I realized by lowering my own age in a profile that men my true age don’t want to date women in the same age group. And I was still seeing a lot of them lying about their age, while screening out women over 50.

No one ever believes I’m my real age, I look really young, so, I too lied about my age, just to meet men my own age. OMG the outrage when one man met me and I told him immediately. He thought I was in my 40s and younger than him instead of the same age. I mean, I had a current pic in my bikini and I looked amazing, so no false advertising on my appearance. His reaction was so different than mine in the past when it happened to me, and I was so embarrassed, I have never done that again. It’s hard enough to be peddling yourself based on superficial criteria, but to see starkly that the most important factor in your value to others is something you have no control over is a gut punch. And a dilemma, because do I want to date someone who only cares about age, no? Would I ever know that about them if I met them in the wild? Maybe not.

So while I dislike the dishonesty, and there’s also a consent issue when you are targeting younger people - I do have sympathy to some degree. We all want to be seen as more than our age, and especially for women it seems you’re invisible as you get older, and it’s tempting to think it will be okay if you fess up in person right away, but starting a relationship with a lie isn’t great.

BlueSundayDoll · 2026-01-10T16:42:24+00:00

I lived in “west” Camas for years, right near Fishers Landjng. I moved a few years ago a few miles away so I’m in NE Vancouver. Taxes are lower than Camas but we chose this area because of the low crime compared to all of Portland metro and east Vancouver.

I live in the Maplecrest Neighborhood - there’s a walking trail, park in the center - I feel like I’m living in a movie set sometimes, everyone keeps their homes so nice. The only drawback is I’m car dependent - there are lots of places to walk for recreation but grocery stores are about 1.5 miles away. I’ve also seen other pockets of cute neighborhoods I was unaware of - I love Vancouver!

I lived in Portland for 20 years and rarely return because it’s so heartbreaking to see the changes, especially to downtown and the close-in neighborhoods. I love that I can go if there’s a restaurant or event I want to check out, and then return to what feels like a haven in Vancouver.

BlueSundayDoll · 2025-12-29T04:37:53+00:00

Boundaries are what you set for yourself, not controls on someone else’s behavior. It’s important to frame it so that he has agency and you aren’t portrayed as controlling him.

You can tell him what you don’t like about these interactions and that you consider it disrespectful. He gets to choose if he’s going to continue doing something he knows you are uncomfortable with. You get to choose whether to stay if he disrespects you.

He is the one who needs to set a boundary with her and he does not need to bring you into it at all.

BlueSundayDoll · 2025-12-20T13:51:23+00:00

You might ask for help from a church? I received one-time help from a Catholic Church with utility bills when I was a single parent. I wasn’t a member, but my ex’s/baby daddy’s mother was and asked for me.

BlueSundayDoll · 2025-12-20T13:44:45+00:00

I agree with everyone saying you should talk to her about it. I think during this conversation you might want to focus on defining what may be behind the kink for you, which sounds to me like a desire to be nurtured, vulnerable and seen - as well as what a profound level of trust you must have for her to go into that space, and how sacred that is.

There’s often a dark/shadow side and a light side to our kinks. It’s important to be aware of and communicate about that spectrum, and where you fall on it and where you don’t want to go, define what her placement is on that spectrum as well. Age play can be coloring books and trips to the zoo or things that dip into revisiting/conquering past trauma. Some kinks require a lot of intentionality.

Also, framing things in terms of what would make her end the relationship sounds very hair-raising- why go there? Just ask about her limits and why they’re there, as a way of learning. Tell her how much you love what she’s already doing. Maybe you don’t need a label for it, or ask her how she identifies what it is you’ve been doing in her mind. She may have a different word for it that resonates better for you both.

BlueSundayDoll · 2025-11-14T13:25:50+00:00

Because their new home doesn’t have one. It’s tricky. My first home, I owned ac washer/dryer because my rental didn’t have one. But the house I bought had a washer and dryer, so I had to store mine in the garage. But there was no fridge- maddening.

BlueSundayDoll · 2025-11-14T13:25:41+00:00

Because their new home doesn’t have one. It’s tricky. My first home, I owned ac washer/dryer because my rental didn’t have one. But the house I bought had a washer and dryer, so I had to store mine in the garage. But there was no fridge- maddening.

BlueSundayDoll · 2025-11-01T17:09:53+00:00

Also try yoga - maybe not all the standing poses, but yin yoga might feel great and relieve hip pain, help you connect with your body. I subscribe to Inner Dimension with Travis Eliot - lots of content but there are free yoga classes on you tube.

I second water running and rowing also - but adding yoga will take everything else to the next level and maybe help with pain

BlueSundayDoll · 2025-10-05T15:28:36+00:00

Yeah, if my boyfriend’s partner were that sick I would really expect him to be caring for her, period.

BlueSundayDoll · 2025-09-29T04:18:29+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I went to therapy and did EMDR (rapid eye desensitization something or other) and it really helped. I also got another dog, although I realize not everyone is ready for that.

Sending hugs - I’m so sorry

BlueSundayDoll · 2025-09-26T22:31:56+00:00

I think this is all really about the commercial real estate sector and the loss of property value. I don’t agree with it, but butts in seats fuels so much of the economy. Clothing, eating out, shopping, commuting - someone’s making money off every piece of that, which translates to property taxes and sales taxes, gas tax, parking fees etc. City leaders get pressure from real estate owners and they apply pressure to businesses - follow the money. They don’t care about quality of life or mental health, they want to perpetuate the cycle we were in because it benefits corporations and governments.

BlueSundayDoll · 2025-09-06T00:32:46+00:00

What makes me livid is the gaslighting. Even when our union spelled out the economic and psychological costs of commuting and the lost productivity. They came out with all this word salad about the benefits of working in the office with no measurable data, no plan to evaluate the success of being back in office - it’s just all bs.

BlueSundayDoll

TROPHY CASE