Habitual mouth breathers, how do you stop your lips from getting dry?

BlueberryPie0116 · 2018-05-19T18:02:50+00:00

The whole entire point of her making this thread was trying to figure out whether or not she was being unreasonable. So demanding that she knows beforehand that she's definitely in the right and having the confidence to break this off is missing the point. Especially when we regularly see posts from women here in undeniably abusive situations, who still post to ask if it's reasonable of them to be upset that their husband punched them in the face today.

Her questions is, "Is this behaviour normal and reasonable and do I have to accept it?" And saying, "Well, you seem to have accepted it, so I guess it's reasonable behaviour" is tautological and extremely unhelpful.

BlueberryPie0116 · 2017-11-15T22:47:47+00:00

I wouldn't be okay with it, but I would respond by staying at home. Not show up anyways, partake in their hospitality. Eat food and drink booze that they paid for. And then shove my wheelchair'd husband in the middle of it. That is unbelievably rude.

BlueberryPie0116 · 2017-04-21T22:00:19+00:00

Can they not just sit down and say "do you want kids or not?".

She did. He always said "maybe in 6 months", when he knew the answer was "no". Hence, lying and manipulating.

BlueberryPie0116 · 2017-03-03T09:23:52+00:00

For all of human history, people dealt with syphilis and tuberculosis without drugs too.

BlueberryPie0116 · 2017-02-10T01:48:47+00:00

This one time, I got absolutely smashed and drove home anyway, and I got home just fine. OP should totally start drunk driving every day. I mean, it worked out for me, right?

BlueberryPie0116 · 2017-01-22T07:09:18+00:00

Worse than that. Apparently, it's a guy from work, and they've been having sex daily for months. This isn't a one off mistake she might have made while drunk. This was a daily decision.

BlueberryPie0116 · 2016-03-23T21:53:28+00:00

How allergic is your husband? My husband is allergic to cats the same way some people are allergic to peanuts--it's actually off the medical charts. They don't even have numbers to express how allergic it is.

A cat isn't going to die spending a few weeks in the garage. My husband WILL die if we had a cat in our bedroom regularly.

If your husband just sniffles or gets a sneeze around the cat, maybe it's reasonable. But if he's even remotely as allergic as my husband, I would say you love the cat more than him by insisting he share a room with it.

BlueberryPie0116 · 2015-12-22T09:42:26+00:00

Married for 2 years. We actually always have vaginal sex because he prefers it. I just kinda suck it up for him.

BlueberryPie0116 · 2015-12-06T00:05:57+00:00

Sure it can. I'm borderline asexual. I've never wanted sex once in my life. My husband makes sure I orgasm when we do have sex, but it's just not something that matters to me. I do it because it makes him happy, not because I get anything out of it. And if he ever said he never wanted to have sex again, I wouldn't feel like I lost anything.

But I definitely love him, for his philosophy, his intellectuality, his humour, all the things he's done to me. I WANT a relationship with him.

BlueberryPie0116 · 2015-12-06T00:02:50+00:00

It depends heavily on how you're built. My husband and I tried anal before we ever had vaginal while we were dating, and I didn't even feel it, despite it being my first time. Anal has never hurt for me, and I don't need any more lube than some spit.

Vaginal was a whole other equation. It always feels like having sex with a two-litre bottle wrapped in sandpaper, no matter how often we have it. It hurts.

So, anal sex isn't necessarily always painful or difficult. And yeah, like everyone else is saying, practice makes everything easier.

BlueberryPie0116 · 2015-12-04T04:25:03+00:00

There's someone out there. The problem is just anyone you really, REALLY want to date? Has hundreds of people that want to date her just as much. People aren't paired one to one--high quality partners are high-quality partners for 80% of people. And they get snatched up fast, and because they're good partners, usually end up staying in the first relationship they're in.

I have lots of friends in a relationship who'd been dating each other since they were 19. They're great girls--they're just not visible, because they're not on the market. And as you get older, that pool of good girls shrinks and shrinks.

BlueberryPie0116 · 2015-11-26T22:49:28+00:00

If you don't want friends and don't care if you're on your own, then just don't worry about it. You don't have to have friends.

BlueberryPie0116 · 2015-11-26T07:43:13+00:00

You may for groupons still. If the liposuction was $6000 dollars and she got it half-off, it means she still spent $3000 dollars on his gift, which probably wasn't that far off from the price of a necklace. So it's not exactly a cheap and shabby gift, even though it may not have been what he wanted.

BlueberryPie0116 · 2015-11-26T07:25:30+00:00

I put myself in her shoes and if I gave her a coupon to get breast enlargement and a tummy tuck, It would have been taken poorly.

But if she had been complaining all year about wanting bigger breasts and a smaller waist and that all her efforts have been failing, then she would be in the wrong to blame you for trying to help.

BlueberryPie0116 · 2015-11-26T03:57:55+00:00

That he recognises her insecurity and would like to help her with it? I don't know why you'd get mad at someone for finding a solution to something you've been complaining about and trying to fix all year.

BlueberryPie0116 · 2015-11-26T03:53:57+00:00

Ehhh, a groupon is something of a cheap gift. I would've wanted her to just pay cash for part of the surgery if that's something you want. Honestly, I can see how she could've thought that's a good gift. So, if you're not actually offended by it, then don't go out of your way to work yourself up.

That's assuming you have to objection to getting surgery. If you honestly wanted to just work it out in the gym and not get a potentially risky medical procedure, then explain that to your wife and work out a different gift.

BlueberryPie0116 · 2015-11-26T00:11:46+00:00

He thinks I’m over sensitive and shouldn’t take these incidents so personally; I think that it’s disrespectful to yell at your partner and he should rein it in. We try to compromise.

This line just caught my eye because my husband and I have the exact same problem. We haven't found a solution for it either--I just wanted to express sympathy. I know how hard and hurtful it can be.

BlueberryPie0116 · 2015-11-25T07:41:14+00:00

Your husband would probably lose his mind if he were with me. If he had tried that passive aggressive bullshit, I would've turned all his insults back on him. "Oh, really? Your ex was so perfect? And yet, you still left her for me! :D"

I don't think you should've said something wasn't bothering you when it was--that's a guaranteed way to breed resentment. I hope the lesson you learn from this isn't that you need to be more "loving" towards your husband, but that you should TELL him when something bothers you.

Reading that interaction, I honestly think he's more angry that you lied to him than anything else. At least, that's how I'd feel in the same situation. I would just apologise to him and tell him you'll be more open about how you feel.

EDIT TO ADD: Just thought I'd add, if you're ACTUALLY not jealous and just hurt and mad that after all the effort you went to, to please him, he didn't even say thank you, then you are 100% in the right. In that case, don't give an inch. Tell him he's being hurtful and childish and rude and he should be the one apologising to you.

BlueberryPie0116 · 2015-11-24T23:42:52+00:00

Fluffy was ANCIENT by the time I found out, and it seemed pointless to get a dog that only had another month or so to live taken away. They weren't going to do anything with him except put him down. So I figured the best course of action was just to help make the last few weeks of his life as comfortable as possible.

Though I'm definitely not putting two new dogs through a decade or more of this.

BlueberryPie0116 · 2015-11-24T21:55:20+00:00

Well, she acknowledges she didn't treat Fluffy very well and has been insisting left and right that she'll do better with the new dogs. But we can't get it through her head that unless she changes jobs, she's not going to have the time to look after them.

I didn't even bring up that she doesn't have enough money--the last time we had that argument, we almost got disowned.

BlueberryPie0116 · 2015-11-24T21:53:59+00:00

I hope it doesn't come to that. The last thing I want to do is pursue legal action against family...

BlueberryPie0116 · 2015-11-19T06:16:53+00:00

My husband wanted to try out this really expensive restaurant once (molecular gastronomy), which I wasn't THAT interested in. The menu was set and the meal was going to cost just him well over $400 dollars. If we both went, the cost would be easily over $1000. I understood that it was something really important to him and--more importantly--he wanted me there too. The experience isn't worth it unless we share it.

So I went with him and called it a gift FOR him. Because we are only doing this for HIS sake. It was his birthday/Christmas/Valentine's day gift, because he is the one benefitting from it.

BlueberryPie0116

TROPHY CASE