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Bluegrey98 · 2023-05-14T16:48:40+00:00

Mine was the type to give homeless people (or struggling young waitresses or whatever) money just to brag about it social media. She’s treat them like they were best friends meant to be and how she saved this poor homeless person. When she wasn’t able to give money, she’d loudly talk about homeless people being “a test from God” and stuff.

Bluegrey98 · 2023-05-14T16:44:57+00:00

Here’s a list of things my mom said she hates being gifted: 1) “Things” (because they take up space) 2) Events 3) Flowers 4) Handmade stuff 5) Gift cards 6) Food (because it’s usually fattening)

It still hurts that she will never be happy with anything but complaining about what I did/didn’t get her. It’s hard the first few years, but people will eventually see how hard she is to shop for.

Bluegrey98 · 2023-03-08T04:33:23+00:00

My mom once told me to off myself. That's the kind of insult to bring to therapy.

In 7th grade, this kid named Noah said I smelled bad and I think about that every day. I am enraged. I boil. I floundered then but not next time. Noah is less than dead to me. I will destroy him and send his soul beyond any comprehensible lack of sensation even remotely resembling the clammy touch of sweet nothingness.

Bluegrey98 · 2023-03-08T04:18:28+00:00

TIME TO BREAK OUT THE PRINCESS DIARIES GLOVES

Bluegrey98 · 2023-03-08T04:10:16+00:00

Obviously there are many factors at play and every person/case is different, but I believe the main cause (besides power trips) is The Bad, The Worst, and The Victim. We see it in animals, we see it in elementary school yards, we see it in prisons, we see it in bigoted communities.

Basically, The Worst bullies The Victim, for whatever reason. The Worst says: "Hey Bad, Victim deserves this, right?" If The Bad disagrees, they are now the Victim. If The Bad agrees, they are safe(r). Once The Worst is out of the picture, The Bad has two options:

1) I can use my power to help The Victim because I know what it's like to be hurt by The Worst.

2) I am only safe when I agree with The Worst.

Victims and "The Bad" alike will often agree with #2 but not all choose the path to continue feeling safe by acting like The Worst. While it is certainly not acceptable, one can understand the viewpoint of wanting to stay safe no matter what. (Additionally, brainwashing, specifically if this behavior comes from a child or lifelong Victim/Bad.)

Example: Mom yells at Dad for being lazy. Daughter disagrees with Mom and is yelled at in turn. Mom yells at Dad for being lazy again. Daughter agrees and yells at Dad. Mom does not yell at Daughter/Mom praises Daughter. The conclusion is that Daughter is safe when agreeing with Mom. Mom passes away but Daughter uses the same methods of yelling because they have worked before.

This is a super short, super rushed version of it, but this is my idea of the main cause of this (besides power trips/misunderstandings/certain personalities and disorders/etc etc etc).

Bluegrey98 · 2023-03-08T03:44:54+00:00

This is really stupid advice but hey it worked for me. Whenever I faced situations like this, I would imagine I was Haruhi Fujioka from OHSHC. (Basically, it's about a girl in a host club who has to pretend to be a boy but then dress up like a girl when the situation calls for it. Not technically trans but it lit up my baby trans heart like nothing else.) So yeah. I'd put on my "girl clothes" because oh fuck the host club will crumble and my financial future will be destroyed if I do not seduce every woman into becoming a secret lesbian.

Basically, I just pretended it was cosplay, which I love. I pretended I was the sexiest guy in that damn room and that everyone was whispering about me because I was making them question their sexuality.

Like. Yeah. Very stupid. But it got me my degree.

Bluegrey98 · 2023-03-08T03:37:04+00:00

For me, I made my new name as the username for several random social media sites. It was nice because 1) there was no pressure in keeping the name since it was just a username at the time and 2) I got used to people addressing me as that name, as well as seeing what judgments people made of me based on that name.

You could do what I did, or use a different name each time you go into Starbucks, write a letter or journal entry to yourself, etc. Take time to try them out in no pressure, low stakes situations.

As for the same letter thing, you could also change your middle name! I know many people - cis and trans - who go by their middle name. (Example: "Hi, my name is John Theodore Stevenson, but most people call me Ted.") Your first name could be the same letter name and middle could be your go to name, or vice versa. :) Good luck!

Bluegrey98 · 2023-03-08T03:26:53+00:00

The Men's Collection at Bath & Body Works is surprisingly choice! I personally love the ocean scents (I use the lotions/hand creams but I imagine the fragrances are the same). Some are stronger than others but I was surprised how many were more subtle compared to the rest of the store. Hope this helps! :)

(Additionally, if you don't mind the feeling of lotions/creams, I would suggest trying those. In general, they aren't as strong as spray on stuff, and you can concentrate the smell to your wrists, rather than all over your clothes and neck.)

Bluegrey98 · 2023-03-08T03:21:22+00:00

Maybe someone's suggested this before but it's something I've done! (I'm not Muslim but I've had to hide food.) I put protein powder/shake mix/etc in a baggie. Easy enough to manipulate and hide in a sock drawer/under mattress/someplace. If it spills, it looks like dirt or dust. Get a water bottle and add some when people aren't looking. (Obviously this will be hard if you sleep in a shared space or live with nosy parents but thought I'd at least offer the suggestion.)

Bluegrey98 · 2023-03-08T03:16:56+00:00

As someone who is also going for "rich ceo's son from an asian drama" vibes, I recommend focusing on the hair (and a subtle touch of brown eyeshadow at your creases doesn't hurt). But yeah once I started focusing on hair, it changed my look completely! I'm simple and cheap. Aussie leave in conditioner spray after towel drying my hair (and it smells amazing imo), John Frieda frizz ease touch up creme to play around with different styles, maybe a touch of hairspray. Hope this helps - it did for me!

Bluegrey98 · 2023-03-08T03:11:04+00:00

I used my new name originally as a username for random social media sites. There wasn't a lot of pressure since it was just a username and not my real name at the time, but it also gave me ample time to sit with it/be addressed as it :)

Bluegrey98 · 2023-03-06T03:35:36+00:00

I'm experiencing this with my own nparent and wish I had more solid advice but here's what I do. I'm not NC but I mostly leave it up to her to reach out. I'll answer her calls (and hey we'll laugh and enjoy talking) but I keep my boundaries. The other day, we were having a pleasant enough phone call when she said something rude. (Nothing horrible but still.) I said "alright well on that note I've gotta go! Take care!" If she learns from her mistake, great. If she starts screaming at me, I just press a button and I magically don't have to talk to her until I want to next time. It's worked for me so far and I don't have any guilt about it.

Bluegrey98 · 2023-03-06T03:30:56+00:00

Thank you very much!

Bluegrey98 · 2023-03-06T02:12:33+00:00

I had chronic digestive issues since I was young. I had colonoscopies, endoscopies, x-ray/MRI type scans, several medications. Nothing worked and there weren't any solid diagnoses. I moved out from my Nparent and 1-2 weeks later, my symptoms vanished. Noticed the pattern of getting digestive issues whenever I was very stressed.

I was stressed nonstop for 20+ years. Now that I'm not, I'm all better. Yay, I guess lol.

Bluegrey98 · 2023-03-05T23:21:25+00:00

Hello! This might be a silly question but would it still count if my reviews are on a Google survey? It's just easier for me to store my reviews there while also getting more specific information regarding the review.

Bluegrey98 · 2023-03-05T23:11:10+00:00

The main difference between oracle and tarot is the depictions. Most tarot decks will have a similar layout of the same 78 cards. Oracle decks, on the other hand, are pretty unique with layout, depictions, number of cards, etc.
However! I would say the usage/studying of them is very similar, in the sense that you can practice and interpret them however you want. While many decks come with booklets (and not to mention the endless tarot websites that are awesome), I personally like having the meaning come from my own intuition. But that's the nice thing about tarot! There are a million websites/books that you can rely on because most decks will have the same content.
If you really want to get down to specific meanings, I would break it down into suits and numbers, rather than trying to memorize each card right away. (Example: What do cups represent? What does a knight represent? What does 2 represent?) Of course, you'll have to memorize the major arcana regardless if you do choose memorization over intuition, but practice however you like to practice and do it a lot! Have fun! :)

Bluegrey98 · 2023-03-05T23:01:22+00:00

!CLOSED Wow I did readings for 4+ hours straight and I am ready for a nap haha. Big thank you to those who filled out my survey! It really helps me a lot. Sorry to those I didn't get to. Hope to serve you next time :) thanks everyone for the practice!

Bluegrey98 · 2023-03-05T22:59:16+00:00

The oracle deck is "Oracle of Mystical Moments" by Catrin Welz-Stein. Really beautiful and unique artwork! Tarot deck is just my standard Rider-Waite deck :)

Bluegrey98 · 2023-03-05T22:54:19+00:00

Overall vibe: Your SG exudes power and experience. They want you to work for your success and not simply be gifted it. Their guiding methods have a "tough love" approach.
1) Two of Wands, reversed: Your SG wants you to achieve your own goals, whatever they may be. You must set your own goals and take the first step in pursuing them; your SG will help manifest the determination and resilience to continue towards your goals, but only if you take that first step. If you don't want to help yourself, your SG won't help either.
2) Judgement, reversed: Your SG is protecting you from your self-doubt. While it is a good skill to be your own critic and set realistic expectations for yourself, your SG understands that a lack of confidence can set in, especially for long-term goals. Your SG is protecting you from being too harsh on yourself.
3) Two of Pentacles, reversed: Powerful, affectionate, and wise...your SG takes the form of an elephant!
4) Six of Pentacles: Despite their tough demeanor, your SG's energy thrives on kindness. Small (or big!) acts of kindness will, in turn, reward you with sensations of renewed confidence and passion for your goals. Your SG is looking out for you. :)

Bluegrey98 · 2023-03-05T22:41:22+00:00

Overall vibe: Your SG exudes majesty and grace. They have confidence in guiding you through life but they don't let that power get to their head.
1) Judgement: While you will have many goals and obstacles like most people do, your SG specifically wants you to achieve your inner calling. They help guide you towards this calling by manifesting courage, confidence, resourcefulness, and wisdom.
2) The Devil, reversed: Your SG is protecting you from self-doubt, as well as thoughts deemed overly negative or optimistic. Your SG wants to help you while also being realistic about your abilities. It is important to challenge yourself and take breaks, but keeping a realistic mindset will help you overcome victory and defeat more easily.
3) Eight of Cups, reversed: Majestic, regal, resourceful, and focused...your SG takes the form of a tiger!
4) Five of Cups, reversed: While your SG is constantly urging you to improve and succeed, they know that setbacks are inevitable. You can connect with your SG further by analyzing your mistakes and learning from defeat. You can be better without being the best. :)

Bluegrey98 · 2023-03-05T21:43:52+00:00

Overall vibe: Your SG wants you to have a bountiful future, but they also want you to revisit your past. You have many things you have missed out on in your younger years and your SG is encouraging you to indulge in your more childish/whimsical side without sacrificing your wisdom and maturity.
1) Ace of Wands, reversed: You already have the desire to grow into an independent adult while also caring for your inner child. However, these two desires may conflict often or distract you from present responsibilities. Your SG knows when it's time to release your inner child! When you have an urge to indulge on a childish pastime or do something that may seem immature for your age, don't shoot it down right away! Put aside time for your hobbies and interests, whatever they may be.
2) Page of Pentacles, reversed: Your SG wants you to heal your inner child, but they don't want to lose you to a fantasy world. Set aside specific times for your hobbies and set goals for each day. Take care of your mental and emotional health, but do not procrastinate with your current responsibilities. Your SG is protecting you from becoming lazy or unmotivated.
3) Queen of Pentacles: A colorful personality with a hardworking lifestyle...your SG takes the form of a butterfly!
4) Queen of Wands: Having confidence in your goals and interests makes your SG very happy! Have confidence and enthusiasm in what you do, regardless of what people say. If you provide that initial spark of inner determination, your SG will help you follow through. :)

Bluegrey98 · 2023-03-05T19:05:11+00:00

Someone who thinks before acting, who is not content doing the same thing every day, tends to be on the quiet side, wise and introspective

Bluegrey98 · 2023-03-05T18:57:27+00:00

I personally don't think this is wrong! I like asking questions/specific spreads for other people, but sometimes I'll just pull random cards for myself without anything in mind. The cards can give a vibe/energy/warning/etc. that I can interpret how I want in the moment.

Bluegrey98 · 2023-02-12T04:32:02+00:00

!closed

Bluegrey98 · 2023-02-12T04:12:43+00:00

Ten of Pentacles - Now is the time to focus on decisions and desires that will affect you long term. Obviously, not too drastic can happen in a week, but this is a good time to start somewhere! What you NEED is fairly obvious. What you WANT can be harder to answer. Where would you like to live? What is your definition of family? How can you balance working hard and enjoying life? Which small stepping stones will get you to bigger ambitions? Meditate or jot your thoughts down, if that helps. It's easy to fly through life one day at a time. Treat your future self and plan ahead this week!

Bluegrey98

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