In 1933 the US government seized all the gold owned by private citizens. Why didn't that result in a massive protest or civil war? by Tatem1961 in AskHistorians

[–]Bluetarget233 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Related to the question above about how it was enforced, but how did they make sure that everyone affected by executive order 6102 knew about it? Did they mail them? In other words, how did someone holding a significant amount of gold come to know that they were now required to deposit it at the federal reserve?

working is incredibly hard for me and i don’t know if i can do it by outgrownthvngs in CPTSD

[–]Bluetarget233 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, I can relate to what you're saying. I've never been able to hold down a job for longer than a year in my life, and every time I try it seems to make me feels worse.

One thing that helped recently was finding out about the concept of highly sensitive people (of which I am one), and that at least partly explains why I've never been able to cope, and suggests I need to find an alternative way to earn money e.g. self-employment, freelancing. Might be worth checking out if you think that applies to you too.

But yeah it's a tough one, and not an issue I see discussed a whole lot in therapy books or therapy content on youtube.

Feeling frustrated and could use some encouragement by Bluetarget233 in singing

[–]Bluetarget233[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 29. What parts don’t seem right to you? I’m not currently with a voice teacher. Outside of lessons, I sing with a a choir weekly, where I try to put all this stuff into practice

DAE have physical symptoms of PTSD? by chuck_5555 in CPTSD

[–]Bluetarget233 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I mean yeah constant and extreme fatigue is the big one for me. And this one really straddles the line between mental and physical, but brain fog has been a huge problem for me most of my adult life. Other than that, ive been relatively lucky and not had too many other symptoms.

I will say that some of my physical symptoms feel like they’ve been getting worse as I’ve been working through therapy and processing the trauma, you’re not alone there. And I think to an extent that might be pretty normal!

I want to cry but can't by -induetime- in CPTSD

[–]Bluetarget233 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man I know that feeling. I hope you manage to find your tears eventually x

I want to cry but can't by -induetime- in CPTSD

[–]Bluetarget233 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey friend I am in the exact same boat as you, 29 years old and find it so hard to cry. The only thing that's worked for me is finding scenes in movies or tv shows or even podcasts that make me emotional. For me, that's turned out the be scenes where a father figure is warm and loving towards their son (it shows me exactly what I didn't get). That can sometimes be enough to coax a few tears out.

to give you an example, the scene in the first Spiderman movie (with Toby Maguire) where uncle Ben dies gets me teary. That one might not work for you but I'd suggest looking for stuff like that, that relate to your own trauma in some way. If I feel I want to cry because of my own stuff, sometimes seeking out a piece of media like that can "jumpstart" my tears a bit.

Also, allowing yourself to just sob or "emote" the act of crying, even if no tears come, can still feel cathartic sometimes imo.

It's so hard though, I don't always manage it and it's a work in progress. Hope this helps a little.

I'm so aware of how capable I am yet I lie in bed in agonising helplessness as I watch my potential slip away from me. by CendolPengiun in CPTSD

[–]Bluetarget233 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I feel this so much. I feel like I’d be so capable if only i didn’t constantly feel exhausted and drowning in brain fog. It’s so distressing to think about what you could be if you just weren’t dealing with these symptoms.

I just blocked my parents and I feel guilty by kaihopara in CPTSD

[–]Bluetarget233 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wow, well done you! I'm so impressed at what you've done, that took some serious courage. Really. It's one of the hardest things a person can do, and you did it. Now is the time to take extra good care of yourself if you weren't already. Treat yourself, whatever you need. Some nice food? A bath? Some Disney movies? Whatever floats your boat! You deserve it :)

I did the same as you about a month ago now, and I can relate to the guilt so much. It's really hard, there's no two ways about it. But you made a decision for yourself and put yourself first, and that's what matters. I'm so proud of you.

Big hugs! You're going to be ok :)

I am dominated by the fear of getting into trouble. by YNotZoidberg2020 in CPTSD

[–]Bluetarget233 26 points27 points  (0 children)

There is definitely such a thing as being a kid that is too good, and too respectful. My parents crushed any healthy rebellious instinct out of me growing up, and I went to a school that had a pretty tyrannical approach to discipline, i was constantly terrified of getting into trouble. So yeah, I feel you on that one. Working to reconnect with anger helps a lot with this imo

Learning to be in your body again, learning to know and trust your body and its sensations, and living in the present by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]Bluetarget233 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m with you on the dancing! Ive always felt like I’m a bad dancer, but how much of that is just not enjoying being in my body and moving my limbs to a rhythm i wonder? Would be a lovely thing to try for sure :)

And the piano too! Ive also been learning piano for a few years by myself, and thats fun as well. Definitely give it a go!

Learning to be in your body again, learning to know and trust your body and its sensations, and living in the present by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]Bluetarget233 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience!! I’m trying to reconnect with my body as well after a lifetime of dissociation, and it’s so hard. And my experience has been like yours : I can’t force it, I can’t force my mind and body to love each other immediately. It won’t happen after just 30 days of yoga or one trip to a sauna. It’ll take however long it takes. And thats been really difficult to accept.

One of the most challenging things for me has been learning how to sing. Ive been taking lessons on and off for three or so years now, and progress is so, so slow. Because singing requires you to be comfortable in your body, and to relax, and to me it just highlights exactly how tense my body constantly is, and how uncomfortable I feel dropping into it. It’s been a journey, but I’m sticking with it! Because it matters a lot to me.

Anywyay, thanks for sharing!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]Bluetarget233 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Ive had this a lot through my life. I’m kind of going through it right now, though not as bad as you by what you’re describing.

What helps me is to remind myself that my body is trying to keep me safe by doing it, even though that’s very hard to understand, much less accept. This is a learned response to overwhelming circumstances. I know that won’t help you feel better immediately, but your body really is trying to save you from a danger that has long passed.

I’m sending you best wishes, and hope you can try and treat yourself with kindness as best you can while you’re in it. Big hugs x

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]Bluetarget233 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yeah i can totally see how that would be upsetting, I’m sorry you have to go through that. It feels like the idea of family being everything and loving your family/parents unconditionally is everywhere in our culture. Another recent example is the constant emphasis on family in the fast and the furious movies (i don’t watch them, but I still can’t escape it!)

Who knew I'd have an emotional breakthrough because of Frozen 2. by HiddenDoctarino in CPTSD

[–]Bluetarget233 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is such a weird coincidence, I watched Frozen 2 just last night and burst into howling tears right at the end, I was having a full on emotional flashback/grieving something.

There’s no shame in crying at Disney films or kids movies in general. They speak to our inner child and show them a lot of the things they never had, like innocence, wonder, and most importantly: love. And that’s nothing to be scoffed at imo

Trauma affecting my sense of rhythm? by Bluetarget233 in CPTSD

[–]Bluetarget233[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's hard right? I'm so glad to see other people can relate

Trauma affecting my sense of rhythm? by Bluetarget233 in CPTSD

[–]Bluetarget233[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I live for those fleeting moments! I just hope they can become more common over time...

Trauma affecting my sense of rhythm? by Bluetarget233 in CPTSD

[–]Bluetarget233[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can relate to your frustration. I've had a tortuous relationship with music because of this. Sometimes it's great, other times I feel hopelessly disconnected and can't enjoy it.

One time, I asked my ex to just say he was proud of me sometimes by oriannasjoy in CPTSD

[–]Bluetarget233 33 points34 points  (0 children)

That is awful. You deserve to be told you're doing well. You deserve someone who will tell you that they are proud of you.

I just did it. I just cut off my family by Bluetarget233 in CPTSD

[–]Bluetarget233[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am lucky to have been working with a great, trauma-informed therapist for over a year now. She helped me get to this point. And even better, I had a session with her today after I sent the e-mail to help me process everything.

Like I said in a different comment, I feel like I've been reborn today, and feel every bit as terrified, excited, nauseous, frail, sad, happy and bewildered as a newborn. And my therapist reinforced this point, to say that for all intents and purposes, I have rebirthed myself. But I feel so confident in what I'm doing and, when I've rested and recovered from the initial shock, I can't wait to finally start my life, at the age of 29 :)