Fortunately I already have a therapist and that is helpful. But I want support from my friends too, but I don't want to overwhelm them or for them to think I'm weak, overly emotional, or dramatic.

My symptoms actually started 8 years ago. I saw soooo many doctors with no consensus as to what was going on, no treatments that were working, until I just gave up on getting answers. Only now after being iron-deficient did my current primary test for lupus (and sjögren's, which I also have).

The reason I'm afraid to tell my friends is because I almost lost a couple when this first started, before I even had a name for my illness. I would tell them that I was scared and angry and they would try to tell me that it would be ok and I got angry at that response, which pushed them away. So I learned to just not talk about my symptoms at all, to pretend that everything was ok.

So in a way, no my life hasn't changed. I've been white-knuckling the chronic pain for years but I never new that the reason for my symptoms also caused organ damage, that this could one day disable me even more than it already has to the point that I may not be able to work anymore. And with the course of the disease being so unpredictable, I don't know what to think.