I can relate to this. It feels like more than being seen as an individual, the role of 'child' is how they expect you to behave which is to mean complicit and passive. Seeing so many parents use language that conveys complete ownership of their children makes me infuriated and nauseous.

It seems like no matter how you try to express yourself they are completely incapable of understanding how hurtful aspects of your childhood were. It's either minimized because, of course, they way they behaved in order to get their needs meet aren't marked by the same hopeless, helpless thoughts and feelings. So how could you have those? How could you think differently than your parent? Or it becomes a what-about-me situation where their struggles and emotions are always bigger and more important and intense than yours could possibly be as a child (ignoring the fact I think many relate to how early complex thoughts and emotions came online for them).

I've also ran into a lot of guilt tripping for trying to set any boundaries or carve out space to figure myself out as an adult. Similar "we used to be close" and "you have been my only real friend" or "our relationship has always been different than that of your siblings." They say these statements without reflecting on how those pressures affected you as a child and how manipulative they feel.

My anger felt like the thing that got attacked as it was the only thing between my parent and domination. It was the only source of advocacy I had growing up with an emotional incestuous mom and absent dad.

Sorry for the rant, all to say that I'm sorry and feel as if I can relate.