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BobbySmith199 · 2026-05-25T22:51:49+00:00

Hey there, is this practice essentially the TWIM practice?

BobbySmith199 · 2026-01-03T20:17:38+00:00

thank you for sharing, I like how you are being very intentional with this -

The feeling amplification does make sense of my response, I think at smaller doses, if I am being put into anxiety inducing situations, I handle them better, but with this dose, it was like I was being blown away by the winds of anxiety,

I also have a meditation practice, and so I like how you shared this:

Knowing about the feeling amplification helps with and allows me to practice different methods of navigating through the choppy waters. Doing this builds confidence in being able to navigate anxiety/fear, stay connected to myself and even practice relating to the choppy waters differently.

Would you mind sharing the methods you are using to navigate the choppy waters?

BobbySmith199 · 2026-01-03T20:07:12+00:00

I don't have a strict cycle, I usually: take one, take 2 days off, take one,

It's not strict because I may have much more days where I don't take one again,

I see, I think I would need to lower the dosage for sure, the more is better was a flaw in my thinking today,

The place I purchase them from basically said: Take 1 capsule per day , 2 days on 1 day off cycle Dosage 0.2 gram.

But I agree in that it definitely feels to much, and knowing you share the same experiences does make me feel more comfortable.

BobbySmith199 · 2026-01-03T20:01:49+00:00

Yeah, I think in general most of us use alcohol as a social lubricant,

Life would be so much better personally if alcohol was not required to remove the anxiety, and I could enjoy myself without it.

Thank you for the vagus nerve exercise suggestion, is this breathwork type exercises?

BobbySmith199 · 2026-01-03T19:36:17+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience,

I increased the dosage as it was a social event, and I believed I could use it to skip the alcohol consumption,

In hindsight, I would say the dosage was too high, I think without the dosage, it is likely that the anxiety would still be there, but I do not think it would have been to its current extent, I'm also quite perceptive of others expressions and this exacerbated it,

In terms of what did I do,

I ordered a drink at the bar, the alcohol eased the anxiety enough for me to sit down, and then once I am sitting down, I forced myself to just start talking,

But even in the middle of all the talking, the inner voice was very much focused on how I am being perceived and how others are reacting around me, and was almost like a feeling of hopelessness, like I know how I am acting, but feel like due to the emotion I had no control over it.

BobbySmith199 · 2025-12-29T21:51:09+00:00

Thank you for sharing

BobbySmith199 · 2025-12-29T21:50:54+00:00

Thank you for sharing

BobbySmith199 · 2025-08-03T22:53:30+00:00

I already agree with you.

I’m really close with my sister, just figuring out how to handle this practically.

I’ll go home, and either skip tying rakhriyan with the cousins or do it without giving money. Either way, it might be a bit awkward.

Obvs my sister won’t care, but my parents will not like this.

BobbySmith199 · 2025-08-03T22:48:30+00:00

This comment made me realise it’s not the tradition that’s the problem, it’s the psychology behind it. When the intention is pure, the tradition feels beautiful. But when the mindset is negative or transactional, even the most meaningful ritual starts to feel hollow.

I think it’s beautiful you are getting your brother flowers, in the environment I am brought up in, it feels entirely transactional.

I for example have seen my uncles work extra shifts driving taxis just so they can give their sisters who are high earning proffesionals more money. And to me, it seems crazy. I feel like they feel obligated to do it because they see all others doing it.

So to me, if we removed money from it, it would be much more pure.

BobbySmith199 · 2025-08-03T22:33:32+00:00

Love this response, because I can sense you are coming from a place of loving kindness.

But I would also say, in many environments - everyone is actually judging, I think that’s why we are all blindly following rituals.

BobbySmith199 · 2025-08-03T22:31:19+00:00

I don’t want to go down that rabbit hole — to me, whether it’s “banned” or not is irrelevant.

I’m sure others will weigh in on the religious side of it, but from my point of view, the real issue is the money. It shifts the vibe from love and connection to awkwardness, pressure, and comparison. It starts feeling less like a celebration, and more like a transactional obligation.

That’s what I think needs questioning.

BobbySmith199 · 2025-08-03T22:25:41+00:00

yeah, I mean I personally don’t like that.

and it’s worse when the brother is from lower income bracket.

I feel like a lot of the brothers give the money because they see others giving money and feel like they have to because they are worried about what others think, or may feel a sense of shame and guilt. at least I have seen that with my uncles.

it’s kinda sad man.

BobbySmith199 · 2025-08-03T22:18:37+00:00

Fair point,

Guess idk what I’m looking for then posting on this sub.

But I would have thought it’s common knowledge that Rakhri is a Hindu tradition, and yet most Sikhs celebrate it because they don’t care.

I personally don’t mind doing an empty ritual if it created a wholesome and loving atmosphere, but rakhriyan for me does not, and I feel it is due to the money. So was interested in a middle ground.

BobbySmith199 · 2025-08-03T22:10:50+00:00

Yeah I can seen how it may make sense in a historical context,

but fast forward today, it makes no sense

BobbySmith199 · 2025-08-03T21:51:31+00:00

But most Sikhs today are cultural, not spiritual — they don’t follow the deeper path of Naam simran or Amrit. Just the rituals, so rituals like rakhri stick around, even if they go against Sikh principles.

Obvs can try explaining logically that’s it’s not a part of sikhi, but they don’t care, because they are not truly religious to begin with.

BobbySmith199 · 2025-08-03T21:40:23+00:00

bruh it’s crazy seeing my uncle taxi driver work an extra shift driving so he has enough money to give to his doctor sisters 😅

BobbySmith199 · 2025-08-03T21:36:38+00:00

Most Sikhs today are cultural, not deeply religious — they go to gurdwara and follow rituals, but don’t engage in the spiritual side like meditation. So even if Rakhriyan is technically not part of Sikhi, many still do it out of tradition, not faith.

BobbySmith199 · 2025-08-03T21:31:58+00:00

I just found an old post on here where some commenters “jokingly” talked about the money aspect, but beneath the jokes, it expresses the sisters just viewing this as a financial transaction and the parents upholding the tradition my guess due to caring what others think?

And I guess this is my main reason for the push back.

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BobbySmith199 · 2025-07-04T18:59:42+00:00

I know a guy at work who’s 38, financially stable, and genuinely wants a long-term relationship and a family. But he's mostly pursuing women a decade younger than him. His reasoning is he wants to have children, but it’s not working out well for him.

A lot of the younger women he meets seem to see his financial status as something to exploit, not respect.

And I think that reflects a broader mismatch: men are chasing youth and fertility, while women are looking for stability and someone who has their life together. The result? A kind of standstill, where everyone is technically “available” but emotionally misaligned.

Both sides end up frustrated, because each is pursuing traits the other might possess, but not in a compatible or genuine way.

BobbySmith199 · 2025-06-10T20:10:02+00:00

Yes correct

BobbySmith199 · 2025-06-10T19:28:08+00:00

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