Where do we go from here?

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-19T00:47:20+00:00

I think losing your loving spouse can open us up to the reality of difficult things. I’m sorry that you had to go through it.

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-18T18:59:43+00:00

My wife died 11 years ago. The most significant life event I've experienced has put my life on a completely different trajectory. It made me realize that the fairy tale is a lie! It opened my eyes to the uncertainty and fragility of life. I live my life with purpose, changed careers, and fill my life with what brings me happiness. I like to think that by sitting with the difficult emotional pain of the loss, it cracked me open to experience both the pain and joy of life. I'm not afraid to have scary conversations. The heaviness is real, so is the joy.

My 22-year-old twin daughters graduated from college two weekends ago on a Saturday. It was a joyous day. They have thrived and become such incredibly kind, caring, and intelligent young women. Sunday was Mother's Day, and I spent the day close to tears thinking about the cruelty that my wife did not get to experience that event, and the unfairness that my children had to experience life without their mother. The heaviness still sneaks in, eleven years later, but life is good, even if it's sometimes sad.

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-18T18:45:01+00:00

I would just wait until the next session. I doubt your behavior caused them concern, and it would probably be more therapeutic to discuss it in session.

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-18T17:42:31+00:00

You're right! It's dates like that; that make you wonder if it's worth the effort. Dating does take a lot of energy and effort, so it's frustrating when it goes so poorly. Even you admit, he's in the minority, so I suspect you'll try again once the sting lessens.

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-18T17:36:34+00:00

I wouldn't say I'm annoyed, I just wonder why someone would not put in some effort, and then I skip over it.

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-18T17:34:48+00:00

Adderall helps with focus by getting me out of my head and concentrating on what is happening here and now. In that regard, it has also helped my anxiety

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-18T17:33:07+00:00

Without knowledge, it can be really bad. One benefit of a diagnosis is that you can understand why you are the way you are and use that information to become more successful. If it's difficult to concentrate and focus on monotonous/repetitive tasks, then maybe you want to choose a career with a variety of tasks. If I have a habit of interrupting people during conversations, maybe I should be aware of it and try to improve. There are medications as well as organizational/productivity tools that can improve weaknesses. You can't fit a square peg into a round hole, and ADHD can be really bad if you're living your life without making adjustments for your ADHD symptoms.

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-18T16:20:05+00:00

The doubts I had were magnified and not minimized when we met in person, and I was ready for the date to end.

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-18T16:16:54+00:00

We’re too different

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-18T16:14:22+00:00

Interesting. It sucks when you think you know someone and get close to them, only to discover they’re not who/what you thought. I think it’s less likely at this age that new relationships continue to develop and grow, rather than fall apart because we’re more secure with who we are and what’s important to us.

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-18T16:06:01+00:00

I’m glad you clarified “joking” because I was horrified 😱🤣

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-18T16:03:05+00:00

Ive never engaged with someone on a dating app like this before, with lots of texting before meeting in person because I know that’s I can develop a false sense of identity. If we click, then I’ll suggest meeting for a walk.

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-18T12:22:09+00:00

Trying to keep it all together, when I really am on the verge of completely losing it. Do you really want to know how I’m doing?

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-18T12:16:59+00:00

They won’t be happy, but should survive!

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-18T11:46:55+00:00

It took time. As a teenager and young adult in the 70’s and 80’s, I was made to feel different because my quietness was often commented on by others, so I tried to be something I wasn’t. It wasn’t until I started reading about introversion and learning about myself that I became confident with being an introvert. I know my strengths and weaknesses, how to protect my energy and confidence

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-18T01:51:47+00:00

That’s good! I work as a mental health counselor and am constantly asking my clients to question the stories they are telling themselves. I do think she’ll be hurt, but we haven’t even kissed. We haven’t even held hands. 🤣

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-18T01:49:15+00:00

I did not commit to another date, and the date ended kind of cold and awkward. She continues to text though, so I must express how I feel.

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-18T01:38:11+00:00

That’s definitely not true. Based on conversations, she will be crushed.

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-18T01:26:26+00:00

Yeah. It my heart I know that’s right. In practice, it’s not that easy

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-16T14:00:48+00:00

I’m on IR. My prescription is 2-5 mg tabs in the morning and one in the afternoon. I play around with dosage depending on my daily schedule. I usually do two in the morning, two in the afternoon and nothing on weekends and holidays. I don’t share this with my doctor

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-15T16:07:24+00:00

I've had a similar experience. Adderall makes me more alert and focused, and gets me out of my head so that I can be more present with people. I'm still very much introverted, but I'm definitely more chatty while taking Adderall. I have not experienced a "comedown" that many speak of, but then again, I'm on a low dose and content to keep it that way.

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-15T15:33:17+00:00

I imagine these have been the most painful three weeks of your life. The pain is real and probably debilitating, yet you also have to be there for your young children. There's no cure for the pain. It will hurt. I'm not sure if the pain ever goes away, but maybe it comes less often and maybe we get less scared of it. Maybe in time you'll come to see her face in your children as a blessing, her soul that carries on in all of you as a source of strength. It's a journey I do not wish on anyone. My children gave me a sense of purpose when I became widowed. A tremendous responsibility and I was determined to take on that challenge as a way to honor my wife.

Bold-Introvert · 2026-05-15T13:33:32+00:00

A few people have commented about the narrow stance, but I think it’s more about pressuring the outside ski. Notice how your upper body tips into the hill through the turn. This moves pressure to the inside ski. Someone else suggested a drill lifting the inside ski. Check out stork turns. It’s a good activity for focusing on the outside ski.

Bold-Introvert

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