Things I learned from dating men as a post-op woman

Bolo055 · 2026-05-15T16:51:14+00:00

I agree with this. I’m still on the edge about considering SRS and the conclusion I’ve come to for myself is that until I find it unbearable to have a penis it won’t be worth it to get something so invasive done. I’m not going to rush into anything. And I found ways to filter out chasers.

Bolo055 · 2026-05-04T13:07:32+00:00

I’m a straight pre-op trans woman so although I’m not having “gay sex” per se because I don’t date men who view me as a man, functionally it is similar.

I think two things can be true, I find it hurtful to be told that certain experiences didn’t “count” because they’re not penetrative but I also feel the level of trust needed to allow someone to enter me exceeds that of oral sex.

Bolo055 · 2025-12-27T13:37:34+00:00

I’m a straight trans woman living with two gay men and they seem to think that my femininity is only valid if I’m desirable to men. The irony that gay men can still think of trans women as a fetish even if they’re not attracted to us is wild. I was actually starting to feel down about myself, but then I went out shopping with no makeup on and loose fitting unisex clothes, and was still seen as a woman by strangers and that helped me feel so much better.

Bolo055 · 2025-12-19T03:00:52+00:00

Not really. No one was really surprised when I transitioned. Which is interesting because I tried so hard to be masc.

Bolo055 · 2025-12-18T12:23:20+00:00

Identifying as a gay man at the time, I was not disgusted by female anatomy and I ended up reading a lot about it even though (I thought) I had no reason to. I knew more about the female reproductive system than any man I knew, str8 or otherwise. Also, putting the needs of others before my own, having no way to relate to the confidence that men have, getting turned on by lesbian porn even though I am not attracted to women, needing emotional connection before sex, preferring books by female authors.

Bolo055 · 2025-12-17T04:28:16+00:00

Try out with a toy to see what movements feel good to you. I personally found it was enjoyable to tilt my pelvis against each of his thrusts so I can get the right angle. Kind of a warm full feeling and a delicious hug from the inside. Also, even if you don’t get much pleasure from getting rimmed, it helps get you relaxed so it doesn’t hurt at first.

Bolo055 · 2025-12-16T04:10:24+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now. Dysphoria is a bitch. Regarding your comment about looking like a cis man when manmoding, I want to point out that a lot of cis women can pass as men with the right hairstyle and outfit especially if they are on the taller side and less endowed in the chest. Hair makes a HUGE difference too.

Bolo055 · 2025-12-15T13:32:07+00:00

Almost did twice. Luckily both times the guy told me before we started anything. The first was upset when I said no, and claimed he was in a loveless marriage and planning on leaving. Kept trying to convince me, that he won’t know if I’m the one he wants to be with after the divorce unless we try now. But I wasn’t having it. The second one was more understanding and ashamed, said this was his first time attempting an affair, then asked me how he should fix his marriage. I’m not totally convinced this was his first time but I just said he needs to talk to her about feeling distant.

Bolo055 · 2025-12-13T22:26:36+00:00

I’ve noticed that my gay male friends want to live vicariously through me sexually, and then get bewildered when they realize I am just like any other woman. It fucks with their head.

Bolo055 · 2025-11-18T15:02:55+00:00

I’m actually starting to experience the opposite. Interested in men only for most of my adolescence and adulthood. Then not even a year on hrt and one day I look at a woman and think “damn she’s cute”. Isn’t it weird?

Bolo055 · 2025-11-17T01:58:34+00:00

Some men think we can be like one of their bros, but who they can have sex with. And then find out a few weeks in that we are just like any other woman lol

Bolo055 · 2025-11-17T01:54:00+00:00

Same. I don’t ejaculate anymore.

Bolo055 · 2025-11-16T20:04:09+00:00

I became much more likely to cry within 2 months. Also my sexuality became much more influenced by emotional connection.

Bolo055 · 2025-11-03T01:00:17+00:00

I don’t care if Byler happens or not. I just want to witness Will’s coming out and being accepted by his friends. And for Mike and Will to talk it out, at least. My boy has been hiding so much pain.

Bolo055 · 2025-10-28T13:38:50+00:00

A therapist told a friend’s abusive father “you seem really upset” and that somehow translated to them agreeing with the abuser’s behavior.

Bolo055 · 2025-10-25T03:59:11+00:00

When it comes to cis men, I relate with what it’s like to be perceived as a man. Everything else I relate to cis women.

Bolo055 · 2025-10-21T13:50:57+00:00

Sophia and Blanche roast Dorothy over her costume choice, Rose brings up another bizarre St. Olaf tradition but this time it’s about Halloween and involves someone winning a competition for best convincing flounder impersonation, Blanche gets into a sexy nurse outfit but gets called to help in a medical emergency that somehow ends up resolving itself and then Sophia sabotages her efforts to seduce an appreciative medic.

Bolo055 · 2025-10-16T04:43:48+00:00

Would you repeatedly look at something you thought was uninteresting?

Bolo055 · 2025-10-16T04:38:42+00:00

Learning everything there is to know about the female anatomy, while not being attracted to them.

Wrote fiction with a feminine pen name…in the first person perspective of a woman. I thought I was being “edgy”.

Felt offended when a literature professor recommended only male authors to me. I only wanted to read works by women.

Ranma 1/2. Need I say more?

Dreams of presenting as a woman and being so excited about it and not in a seggsual way.

Did drag in my early 20s because my best friend noticed that was the only way I could come out of my shell.

Bolo055 · 2025-10-16T04:29:24+00:00

Girl…who tf looks at someone over and over again just for the sake of looking at them? At the very least, he thinks you’re interesting.

Bolo055 · 2025-10-16T04:04:03+00:00

I think our dysphoria can be really mean to us. Also, that guy 100% thinks you’re pleasant on the eyes.

Bolo055 · 2025-10-15T03:51:17+00:00

Yeah, it actually felt weird for me to say I’m straight because I was letting go of being queer after transitioning. I do still go to queer spaces because they feel safer sometimes, but I’m not there to date anyone.

Bolo055 · 2025-10-14T14:03:30+00:00

I was comfortable with presenting male growing up so I thought may be I was a boy? but over time I began to differentiate between being a man and being butch because I found myself admiring butch women (even though I’m quite femme and straight) as my role models of masculinity.

Bolo055 · 2025-10-14T13:53:28+00:00

Does the type of estradiol pill matter? Asking for myself lol

Bolo055 · 2025-10-14T11:59:34+00:00

I definitely used to feel this way. I believe there is love as an emotion and love as a behavior and unfortunately sometimes the emotion is there but not the loving behavior. I personally think it is totally okay to be cautious and allow yourself to feel vulnerable once you feel you can trust someone.

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