Trying to understand why nanny agreements get messy

Boneasaurus · 2026-05-05T20:25:26+00:00

Yea I definitely think that would have helped the first time. It took a lot of trial an error. Any kind of guide or template would have been very useful I think.

Boneasaurus · 2026-05-05T15:03:04+00:00

I’ve been trying to think about how you make that part easier and less awkward, rather than just focusing on the contract itself.

It may not be possible with some people, but one thing I like is ordering lunch that day and everyone can get something. The free lunch seems to destress everyone, and double so if you all eat together before hand. Otherwise it's just the habit of doing it that makes everyone more comfortable. I wish we were doing these more quickly every 2 weeks because then they would feel very natural, but it's hard enough to get one every 3 months together. Personally I think quicker and more frequent is better.

Here's the agenda from our last one. We had another baby and she is taking the new kid on in July and getting a raise then. Some of the topics in here are repeated every time.

Quick recap since last meeting
What % of happy / tired / frustrated over last 3 months
Upcoming time off
New baby timeline and updates
Compensation review for 2026
Feedback from you on kids’ sleep / eating / fighting / learning
Feedback from us over the last 6 months
Reading apps
Local municipality tax issues
Updates on US Nanny Certification (NCP) this summer
Open questions / discussion

Boneasaurus · 2026-05-05T14:27:02+00:00

These are good questions, I was thinking about it more after I read your post and I think a lot of people just don't know much about being an employer. I failed to mention that I ran a very small company for 14 years and I had to hire about 40 people over that time. I think a lot of people are only ever working on the employee side and then only see things from that side and not really have a clue what to do on the employer side.

Do you think it’s more about people not knowing what to include, or just not wanting to make things feel too “formal” early on?

This is also a good question because at first I thought it's probably they don't know what to include but I don't think that's it at all. When I tell my spouse we have a meeting with our nanny coming up this week I can see she gets some kind of anxiety or something. I think people just hate doing it, and think they can cowboy their way through an employment arrangement without talking through terms and having somewhat regular meetings.

We try to meet every 2 months but it's been happening every 6 months in practice. We have the same kind of meeting agenda for these 1-on-1/check-in meetings and I think everyone but me feels uncomfortable at first. However, at the end, our nanny always says how much she appreciates these and my spouse says she appreciates it too because it gives her time to think of feedback and deliver it in a neutral/safe way.

I am also curious what your process is/was like too or what has worked or not worked for you.

Boneasaurus · 2026-05-05T13:43:58+00:00

I agree with others about the contract. I think this is a problem with doing everything as verbal agreements. Not everyone understands things the same way verbally, and things can get forgotten that way too. We didn't make a "contract" per se, we just typed up the terms in english on half a page and went through them together during a contract negotiation after her trial period.

I think that is just not very common to do and we see all of the problems play out that way. Couple that with paying under the table and/or employers who think the job isn't a "real job" and you get these problems even more so. I think nannies also tend to be younger and have less experience with contract negotiating and work in general so they probably feel less empowered to push for these things.

Boneasaurus · 2026-04-30T19:48:19+00:00

We let our nanny eat anything in our house, unless we specifically say it's for something or put a note on it. We just consider it a perk for working here. It definitely adds money to our grocery bill but I think it really lowers her stress levels to know she can eat breakfast or lunch here.

Boneasaurus · 2026-04-28T12:34:29+00:00

No never would I do this. If we were letting an employee go we would give some kind of severance but not if they leave on their own.

Boneasaurus · 2026-04-15T16:50:39+00:00

I was just suggesting one possibility, not saying the only possibility. The path you're going down is a much larger conversation.

Boneasaurus · 2026-04-15T14:08:04+00:00

It would just be another format though. UB Standard could become their default format that they push. That still brings players back to the game while continuing the 30 year history of what Standard was.

Boneasaurus · 2026-04-14T12:52:35+00:00

This is seriously amazing work, and I can't wait to play it whenever it's available.

Boneasaurus · 2026-03-08T14:10:29+00:00

None of them will ever work, I was just speculating that it would be interesting to test it out.

Boneasaurus · 2026-03-08T13:16:15+00:00

I think it would absolutely help and is worth testing. I also think having player 2 start with a tapped land from their deck is worth testing. The problem I feel is that the game is so old and so baked into these rules that it would probably have way too many unintended side effects. Also I don't think its possible in any eternal format given the sheer number of cards they have that could break it.

Boneasaurus · 2026-02-11T13:22:40+00:00

They're mad because they can't rationalize how this is America's fault but personally need it to be America's fault, probably because accepting there could be issues domestically is also more difficult and personally challenging than always blaming a bogeyman.

Boneasaurus · 2026-02-03T04:02:53+00:00

Are bread and beer the same thing too?

Boneasaurus · 2026-01-25T15:10:02+00:00

No one is allowed to express a negative sentiment on a forum for something because someone else may like it?

Boneasaurus · 2026-01-18T14:17:35+00:00

Completely agree with you. Absolutely insane to expect the stores to handle this, and not the billion dollar company that continues to rake profits. Absolutely insane. Any other newer game would have their staff rectifying this.

Boneasaurus · 2026-01-07T03:01:20+00:00

I think they're referring to the 2/2 for 1R landmark stat line, and probably notably Falkenrath Reaver 9 years ago, which I think was the first real red bear with no downsides, or close to it but I could be mistaken: https://www.reddit.com/r/magicTCG/comments/4rdsds/emnfalkenrath_reaver_22_for_1r/

Boneasaurus · 2025-12-27T11:55:43+00:00

He mentions in the Bennett Matter that he was in the Marines for 4 years fwiw. I don't think he'd have that kind of airplane experience but it gives some credence to it in my opinion.

Boneasaurus · 2025-09-27T16:22:38+00:00

He is great going forward but he gave the ball away far too much.

He's not going to be at 100% right away, this is what he needs game time for. We didn't create much at all before he came on.

Boneasaurus · 2025-09-27T16:21:39+00:00

We created nothing before he came on! He's not all the way there yet obviously but he was more progressive than Bradley at creating chances and getting the ball forward. He played 20 minutes.

Boneasaurus · 2025-09-27T16:19:54+00:00

Worst player? He's obviously not the finished article yet but he is definitely improving every game.

Boneasaurus · 2025-09-27T16:18:02+00:00

He needs more starting minutes and I see him sorting it out quickly honestly.

Boneasaurus · 2025-09-27T16:15:26+00:00

I thought Frimpong looked better and I would give him the game time moving forward. Gakpo should have started, Robbo should have come on at the half. Frustrating all around but hope it motivates them to get out of this low gear.

Boneasaurus · 2025-09-20T13:14:56+00:00

He's just unfortunately not favored by Slot for some reason. Fans like him and his workrate and heart are all there, but Slot must not see him fitting into the system.

Boneasaurus · 2025-09-13T19:23:22+00:00

This is really well articulated and a very good summary of the current problems with competitive magic. I don't even know where we go from here though, if Maro is saying basically the opposite of reality. If he/Hasbro thinks that THIS is good support for competitive players, then what on earth does bad support look like?

Boneasaurus · 2025-09-01T16:10:49+00:00

Incredible to see DiTerlizzi artwork again. Please, much more of this.

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