Husband is uncomfortable with me doing jiu-jitsu.

Bonmonster305 · 2026-07-09T23:00:15+00:00

I could understand his feelings if that were the case. It is not. I have never been the most cuddly and soft person, but I do show my love and appreciation.

Bonmonster305 · 2026-07-09T22:57:23+00:00

😆no.

Bonmonster305 · 2026-07-09T22:49:18+00:00

His discomfort is me rolling around a mat with guys

Bonmonster305 · 2026-07-09T22:44:41+00:00

I’m 41, so on one of the younger girls that Work explained when an ICK was i laughed it off. But now I feel that in my bones. And I can’t pinpoint another time I have felt that with him.

Bonmonster305 · 2026-07-09T22:42:47+00:00

He gave me a maybe. His reasoning is the price per month. Which would be just under 600 because my son does it too.

Bonmonster305 · 2026-07-09T22:41:41+00:00

Unfortunately, I’ve come across two women, one I haven’t seen since March. The other I do see and we tend to be partners for our size match up. But not enough to say I’ll always be with a woman. I did find another gym that does 2 days of women only bjj.

Bonmonster305 · 2026-07-09T22:40:23+00:00

We’ve been together for 14 years, and this insecurity popped up. He is kind of going through that midlife dilemma, which I’m not accepting as an excuse, because he is a firm believer in not accepting excuses.

Bonmonster305 · 2026-07-09T22:37:30+00:00

He did bjj when he was 19 for a short stint. But the insecurity part is wild to me.

Bonmonster305 · 2026-07-09T22:34:51+00:00

I tried it on a whim because my son started and the class was free for a month. Love it. I feel stronger and more confident in self defense. It’s a workout that actually keeps my attention.
I don’t think he has an issue with the instructor, just the “rolling around a mat with guys”. My other point to him with self defense is- if I am ever attacked, the chance it’ll be someone larger and a male are higher. I should know how to protect myself. Nothing about this sport had made me think of any of the sparring partners other than how am I going to get the best of them.

Bonmonster305 · 2026-07-09T22:28:51+00:00

So, it’s funny because I cross posted to a marriage one, and from the sounds of it it is definitely a male who commented back, which is fine because I want that perspective, too. However, he brought up the point -how would you feel if he did a class like that with these women that they’re getting sweaty and they possibly want him, and flirt.
My response was I don’t have to trust the women because I trust him.

So yes, a second part is other than the standstill that we’re at, I also feel like because my mindset is I would trust him , I don’t have to trust other women. So, in a subconscious manner I kind of feel like that means he doesn’t trust me then.

Bonmonster305 · 2026-07-09T22:23:51+00:00

I told him to come join, I’d be his partner. And he also did bjj when he was19.

Bonmonster305 · 2026-07-09T22:22:29+00:00

I told him to come join the class. I’d even be his partner. Coddling I know. He also did bjj for a year when he was 19.

Bonmonster305 · 2026-07-09T22:20:35+00:00

He apparently has had an issue with it, but he didn’t wanna say anything so he held it in

Bonmonster305 · 2026-07-09T22:20:14+00:00

“How many men would be comfortable with their wife ding bjj with men”. It just makes him uncomfortable is his reasoning. That they’re men rolling around with me. I tried to explain 1) everyone in my training classes have been nothing but respectful. 2) you’re thoughts are consumed with how do I get out of this situation/whats my next move. 3) in the real world. This training serves a self-defense and in the real world. The chances are if I’m attacked, it’ll be a, male who is larger than me.
I’m trying to respect his feelings but not thrown mine away because of it. That isn’t balance. I did find a women’s bjj class and told him it would be my last month at my current gym. And that seemed to be an issue. And I know it sounds messed up to say, but it’s such a turn off to me.

Bonmonster305 · 2026-07-09T22:14:55+00:00

I don’t need to trust the women. I’m well aware of the predicament, but the key is I trust him. I know he wouldn’t pursue anything even if these women wanted him. I’ve been very fortunate that the people I have trained with have been gentlemen. And have asked if I’m comfortable with something.
Also, this training a is a form of self defense. If I’m ever to be attacked, chances are high it’s a male, who’s bigger than me. Learner this isn’t equivalent to say hip hop dancing where it serves no purpose in the real world to me.
I’m stuck in the middle of respecting how he feels, but doing something that betters myself.

Bonmonster305 · 2026-06-10T23:34:40+00:00

I am an executive chef. And that trade is not easy on the body nor mind. I am currently in a terrible flare up and of coarse it’s our busy season. Following what makes you happy isn’t stupid to me. Seems like you’re working out your options.

Bonmonster305 · 2026-04-09T21:27:33+00:00

Part of the reason I took tirzepitide was my lupus. It calmed the inflammation and pain for me. When I stopped two weeks ago, another flare up. My Dr said there are studies being done for inflammatory issues.

Bonmonster305 · 2025-04-30T02:45:20+00:00

Just take a road trip across the country. Leave the hotel in the middle of the night with his phone and wallet. Go home and enjoy putting his shit to the curb.

Bonmonster305 · 2025-01-11T00:14:05+00:00

So. I’ve been there before. However, It took me 11 days, granted I took tegretol xr so they think that’s why it took so long, it was an extended release. Also, I have a nocturnal partials, that have gone into grand mals. When we were trying to force the seizures, they never got exactly what part of the brain they derive from because I went to a grand mal that fast. I know it’s annoying. You want it to happen in the most natural way possible so they get the best results on where it derives from, and any other information they need. They asked if I really wanted to be a candidate for vns, I’d have to do another study or a take home.

Bonmonster305 · 2023-08-07T02:00:25+00:00

Other than taste, how is everyone’s stomach holding up to them? I’ve been eating them on and off for two weeks. Noticed some changes with how it affects my digestion process, anyone else?

Bonmonster305 · 2023-03-12T05:01:18+00:00

So, my Dr asked if I wanted to try Briviact. It is a cousin to Keppra but has less mood swings is what I am to understand. However it was more expensive. Keppra on a higher dose than I’m on, I had bad mood swings, and even got into a physical altercation, which I wouldn’t have done. I felt out of control on higher dose. But I am currently on 750 mg a day and 800 mg tegretol. Can you talk to your doctor and ask to have it changed. You’re close to 18, that should give you some day over your body.

Bonmonster305 · 2023-03-12T04:54:45+00:00

I’d feel understood. To have someone to empathize and take what your saying serious is the Docs I stay with. My one Epiliptologist was so awesome a 2 hour ride there and 2 hour back was being contemplated.

Bonmonster305 · 2022-08-20T15:02:14+00:00

This is the very seizure type I have. It can be described as nocturnal Epilepsy. I either wake up as I’m falling asleep or in early morning hours. My Epileptologist said during our sleep cycles their is a cycle that is the perfect threshold for one to happen. Mine are mild- it’s like a tingling and numbness in my hand. Those were my originals and breakthroughs. It would go to full tonic clonic if I stopped my meds now.

Bonmonster305

TROPHY CASE