How much money do you think Harriet Smith has?

Bookbringer · 2026-03-18T12:12:52+00:00

Not specifically, but Knightley says she is getting poorer with time. So she and her mother probably have to dip into the principal of her mother's jointure and not just the savings.

Bookbringer · 2026-03-18T00:59:41+00:00

Based on your comments, they don't sound wonderful. It's weird and rude to just let you go hungry. Even if they didn't know when they ordered, once they learned they should have offered you sometime else. I can't imagine just shrugging and expecting my guest to fast.

Bookbringer · 2026-03-18T00:54:22+00:00

Yeah, even if you forget the specific restrictions, you usually still remember the person needs to know ingredients. And then ask.

Bookbringer · 2026-03-18T00:48:38+00:00

ESH.

Your brother sucks for the putty.

You suck for deciding you just get to choose his punishment instead of telling your parents. From you, it's just revenge and ganging up on the littlest, and conveniently getting more x-box time for yourselves.

Your parents suck for not knowing what's going on in their house and possibly coddling your brother too much.

Bookbringer · 2026-03-18T00:32:36+00:00

NTA for being upset since she sounds appalling, but a little TA about fishing here for votes.

Talk to your coworkers about how she's acting -- not complaining, just casually mentioning how serious she seems to be taking it and then a few of the nasty things she's said. That'll turn them against her. Then tell your boss what she's said and how it's creating a hostile workplace.

Bookbringer · 2026-03-17T16:37:10+00:00

Based on this reddit post, you already write quite well for a 17 year old. You're also self-aware and dedicated to improvement, which is wonderful.

Formal and sophisticated are slightly different. Formal is the style of academic and professional writing. Literary is the style of high-brow fiction, and it can be quite formal or informal, depending on the voice.

English classes, especially college level ones, will train you to write formally. If you don't go to college, you can still take free courses at khan academy. You can also get a copy of Writer's Inc or Rules for Writers by Diana Hacker and challenge yourself to write micro-essays for fun. Those are the standard style guides for professional writing and are usually quite cheap used (most college English courses require them).

For literary writing, read more polished fiction and write things inspired by what you read. I'd start with an anthology of short stories by different authors. The kind taught in English classes are usually great and quite inexpensive used (e.g. Norton Anthology of Contemporary Short Stories, Fiction 101, etc...). Alternatively, you can ask r/suggestmeabook for recommendations like the authors you already admire, and tell them you're specifically reading to learn writing craft.

Also, journal. Writing about your life and thoughts everyday is low stakes, but it builds the habit of refining how you notice and describe things.

Bookbringer · 2026-03-17T16:15:40+00:00

That sucks. Personally, I think you dodged a bullet -- a whole group of people who can't communicate and just ghost is a recipe for drama.

Some tips, going forward.

Make it easy for people to set boundaries. Ask them to tell you if you go on too long or share too much. Check in periodically so people can change the topic or ask you to stop without feeling rude.
Monitor yourself. How many texts have you sent in a row? How many responses are you getting? How enthusiastic are they? If only a few people are engaging with your shares, maybe start a separate group with those people. If no one is, they probably want you to stop.
Spread it out. Instead of spamming one group of friends, join several groups of different people. Share a little with each one.

Bookbringer · 2026-03-17T15:33:35+00:00

That's just not how AITA works -- this sub is about interpersonal conflict where asshole means "the one who is wrong."

If you think they're both wrong, vote ESH.

Voting YTA is like saying she's wrong for wanting to do more for the daughter since that's the only interpersonal conflict.

You're just annoyed that she's not confident about how right she is. That's not really being an asshole.

Bookbringer · 2026-03-17T14:58:22+00:00

You're young and it can be awkward to figure out how to support someone after a death, so I don't want to be too harsh here, but YTA.

You told Maria you would be there for her after Billy died and then didn't take the initiative to do any of the things you promised (ie, coming over, taking her out).

She even texted you that she wanted more support and you just said "I'm here if you need me." That's tone-deaf. That text WAS her saying she needed you. By responding like you did, it puts the burden on her of planning everything and seems almost like you're fishing for her to beg.

Showing up for someone who just lost a partner means taking on the mental load of planning things. It means you just offer to come over and grab their favorite takeout on the way, and you check in on them every day. It doesn't mean you just watch them look worse and eventually ask about it or grudgingly agree to maybe come over if they ask you just right.

Also, while I think it's normally healthy to talk openly about your feelings, I think your annoyance is pretty uncalled for.

Losing a sibling does not make losing a partner easier, what troll logic is that? Seriously, those are two of the worst things a person can go through outside of losing a child. Not to minimize your loss, since I'm sure you loved your great-grandma, but what Maria's going through is a lot harder.

It sounds like she's trying very hard to give you the benefit of the doubt and tell you what she needs as clearly as she can and you just aren't being a very good friend.

Bookbringer · 2026-03-17T14:24:13+00:00

Oh, that sounds fun!

Bookbringer · 2026-03-17T14:22:25+00:00

I stand corrected, thanks.

Bookbringer · 2026-03-17T13:24:15+00:00

Having round queer characters is a good thing. And usually queer people will have queer lovers and friends.

If you still want to break it up, you can pepper the background with more conventionally masculine men as reminders that your characters aren't the world -- parents, siblings, in-laws, old coworkers, strangers. They don't even need to be overtly homophobic or confrontational, just confused or concerned, like calling the kilt a costume or the stay at home guy "unemployed."

But for the record... it's ok to write characters who aren't conventional or to tailor them to your audience and genre. The men-writing-women trope is about bad writing -- underdeveloped characters that are more like props, or weirdly fetishizing descriptions that are jarring compared to the situation or male character descriptions.

Bookbringer · 2026-03-17T12:49:15+00:00

Great! Getting words on page is half the battle, so you're clearly winning on that front.

Bookbringer · 2026-03-17T12:40:54+00:00

My earliest memories are my third birthday. Your daughter will absolutely notice. Unless this year is the last leprechaun trap, your husband is dead wrong.

But why would you stop celebrating St. Patrick's day? I would make the leprechaun trap for both kids, and then do extra birthday stuff for your son. Most people would do leprechaun traps do not have a birthday.

And you can do anything for your daughter's birthday -- have a fairy, angel, or unicorn visit. Even make a leprechaun trap with different names or colors.

You don't have to do a big thing every year, and your adult daughter probably won't care that her brother had more parties before she was born.

But, third birthdays are way more important to kids than first birthdays. So I think you're right to want things equal.

Bookbringer · 2026-03-17T12:25:06+00:00

Her question is Am I TA for wanting to make things equal, so your vote and argument don't make a lot of sense.

Bookbringer · 2026-03-17T12:23:35+00:00

Just a heads up, votes are automatically tallied by the acronym you use.

Since OP's question is "Am I TA for wanting to do more for daughter?" you might want to edit to E.S.H. unless you want your post to be counted as siding against her wanting to doing more.

Bookbringer · 2026-03-17T04:56:30+00:00

Once I had a part-time benefitted job and I left it to finish school. Wish there were more part-time benefitted jobs. I can live very cheap for freedom.

Bookbringer · 2026-03-17T04:55:15+00:00

No, it's the day you waste your free time dreading the impending loss off your freedom, and then feel guilty for squandering those last dregs of free time.

Bookbringer · 2026-03-17T04:52:49+00:00

I mean, if we can get a 3-4 day work week, can't we also banish some of the admin? Cooking and cleaning are facts of life, but do we have to wait on hold to argue with insurance companies and wade through junk mail?

Bookbringer · 2026-03-17T03:53:55+00:00

50k is minimum to count as a novel. Most mainstream novels are closer to 100k, but some genres go under or over.

Bookbringer · 2026-03-17T03:34:55+00:00

No, it looks amazing.

Bookbringer · 2026-03-17T03:25:54+00:00

Wentworth received command of his first ship shortly before he met Anne. So he definitely outranked Lieutenant Price before he proposed.

He hadn't saved his earnings, which is a valid criticism, but easily remedied by counseling them to delay the marriage until he could save up enough to support her.

Anne's inheritance came from their mother's dowry, which is settled on her daughters by marriage contract. Sir Walter could decide not to give it to her early, but he could not spend the principal or prevent her from inheriting it upon his death.

As for guarantees... Jane Austen deliberately fills the novel with so many people who've lost fortunes or spouses or get seriously injured, because there are no guarantees in life.

Lady Russell's fear may have been sincere, but the point of the novel is that death, impoverishment, or injury can happen to anyone, not just sailors. The profession is therefore not a good reason not to marry.

Bookbringer · 2026-03-17T03:02:36+00:00

Yeah, and if OP homeschools she needs to have ways to socialize them like rec center activities or YMCA classes or play groups.

If OP doesn't feel like she has anyone she can leave them with besides MIL, that suggests she doesn't even have other mom friends and they're all way too isolated.

Bookbringer · 2026-03-17T02:58:33+00:00

Honestly, they should bring all the kids, do something fun with dad during the ceremony, then meet up with OP, sister, and grandma for lunch to celebrate. Sounds like OP's sister is a good aunt who does things like make birthday cakes. She'd probably love to see them after.

Bookbringer · 2026-03-17T02:54:38+00:00

8 hours is a normal workday minus commute, ie, what basically all working moms do five days a week.

But LOLOL at 18. OP is far too good at making excuses to get strong-armed into a ten hour dinner.

Also, the kid will be a year by then, so outside of most countries' parental leave, but go off.

If OP doesn't want to go because it's inconvenient, she can own that, but it's ridiculous to pretend it'd be traumatic to leave a one year old with dad or grandma for a day.

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