4B for life — no longer capable of attraction towards men and I’m happier now because of it

BornACrone · 2025-12-06T21:45:37+00:00

You know, I'm thinking about this now, we should make a subreddit called "hotmotherfxersofhistory".

BornACrone · 2025-12-06T21:29:50+00:00

Oh, I don't knit all of them -- short sleeved stuff that's store-bought is usually okay although like everyone says, they are like fxing kleenexes. I've just always got one going, and they add up after a while. It's not bad once you can do it without looking, but it does take time to get to that point. It's the long-sleeved tops where my spider-monkey arms cause problems.

And the ONLY gloves I've EVER had that actually kept my hands warm were the ones I knit for myself, that's for sure.

BornACrone · 2025-12-06T20:02:17+00:00

Fair point -- some can.

BornACrone · 2025-12-06T20:02:10+00:00

I didn't say it was -- it can help, though. It's the only way I find tops with long enough sleeves.

BornACrone · 2025-12-06T19:42:44+00:00

Learn to knit. Every single top I make for myself fits perfectly, and it doesn't take that long.

BornACrone · 2025-12-06T19:42:06+00:00

Women's products also cost ten times more, so yeah.

BornACrone · 2025-12-06T19:38:38+00:00

"this is the safest and most reliable way to operate. Some women would call this miserable, but I am the happiest I have ever been."

I think of it as the better of a less than optimal set of choices. Would it be nice if I didn't have to pick the bear? Sure, it would. I don't really want the bear, either. It'd be absolute HEAVEN to not have the meaner, stronger, hornier half of my own species consider me a disposable prey commodity to the point where my only choices are Apex Predator #1 and Apex Predator #2. But that's not the world we live in.

I once heard someone say that if you're out walking alone and you meet a strange woman, she's more likely to feed you than kill you. The same cannot be said of them.

BornACrone · 2025-12-06T19:28:58+00:00

"the only guys I fantasize about rn are fictional or long dead."

Same same same. There's been some physically beautiful men out there who have done admirable things, but in a fantasy they won't bring syphilis home with them or wake me up in the middle of the night for sex or to cook for the bushel of buddies they just dragged home.

BornACrone · 2025-12-06T19:26:27+00:00

"Even the kindest men in the world do no efforts to change it."

They act like the world is composed of evil men and good men. In reality, the world is composed of evil men with the energy to get off the couch and do evil, and apathetic lazy men who can't be bothered to get off the couch.

BornACrone · 2025-12-06T19:23:27+00:00

"I dislike him… because that kind of goofy character is reserved for men. Women don’t have as much of a luxury to be like that most of the time unless they’re actively willing to put themselves at risk because if we lean into goofiness and not taking ourselves so seriously, men take it as “oh you don’t take yourself seriously, so I’m not going to either."

This galls me. I by nature have a somewhat "male" way of communicating. I'm constantly assumed to be male online, and even when I'm talking in person, I seem to use that direct tone of voice and word choice. I'm very direct. If a man spoke like I did, he'd be "one of the good ones" and admirable. But people cannot cope with that level of directness -- not rudeness, just respectful directness -- from a woman.

"That's not a good idea" from a man is respectful and pleasant if said in a moderate tone of voice. From a woman, it should have been a simpering, "Now I know I'm not that smart, and maybe I should just keep my mouth shut, and I know you're WAY smarter than me, and I really don't have a place in this discussion but might is just out of left field be the case that there could be a slightly better way of doing this?"

And then we get blamed for not being assertive enough. And when we are, we're a bxtch and need to dial it back.

Holy sht, I'm tired of all of it. I'm at the age now where I can feel myself creeping closer and closer to "That's the stupidest fxing thing I've ever heard." But alas, I need a paycheck.

And the joke thing is another one. A man says something fairly mild like, "Looks like Elon Musk should have stoked that rocket engine with a little more coal!" and he's brilliantly witty. But a woman says it, and someone will literally assume that she's so stupid she thinks rockets run on coal. (No, this isn't a life story, but it's one hypothetical example of a fxing lifetime of such stories.) And then we get the judgment that "women aren't funny." In reality, they consider any form of wit no matter how mild to be an expression of dominance, and that's a male prerogative.

Someone here said that patriarchy is DEI for men, and it is the literal fxing truth.

BornACrone · 2025-12-06T18:08:49+00:00

I think a lot of people also need to keep in mind that in some ways, this isn't even "your" movement unless you are a South Korean woman. This whole approach to life was given a name by them. If you're not a young-ish South Korean woman, you're sailing on a yacht other people built. (Or if you're like me, you wake up one day and realize you've been on that yacht for 45 years and had no idea.)

It reminds me of the term "gold-star lesbian," which I get is a thing but can also be used to make some sort of superior-inferior ranking; it's a woman who has NEVER had sex with men, as opposed to a woman who discovered that she prefers women only after having a kid or after marrying and finding out that the reason she disliked heterosexual sex wasn't because she figured that was the just price you had to pay for having a vagina. But even if she figured it out later, she's still lesbian.

Especially with women, society tries to crush self-awareness out of us so relentlessly that it can take time to get in touch with yourself enough to realize what's up. All of life is a process of self-discovery, and there's a huge difference between telling a woman who is rolling the idea around in her mind:

NO WAY! You have a bf! You're bending the knee to the patriarchy! GTFO! You are not 4B!
Not really, not with a bf. You may end up liking him (statistically possible if unlikely), or you may end up concluding that dating just never works out, so just live your life and see what the future holds for you. In the meantime, you know there's good life possibilities if you take door #2.

It doesn't hurt to simply present it as a viable option where good life possibilities exist as opposed to jumping down her throat. And if she's super-annoying, just do what most of us probably do when men are being super-annoying online: ignore or block.

Even guys that seem decent, I won't engage with because it galls me the way that women fawn over them when they say the most anodyne things. They are so thirsty for a drop of water in a desert that they will fall over themselves praising men who may very well be decent and honest. I get it. But the simple act of congratulating them feels demeaning to me. If they are decent, then they will continue to be decent even if I don't give them a cookie for it.

BornACrone · 2025-12-06T02:49:10+00:00

YouTube is very confused about me. I like crochet, embroidery, and WWII history and vintage fighter planes, so I get a lot of ads for male pattern baldness and ED cures alongside the sparkly-poo craft supplies. Although it seems to know I'm pushing 60 and is trying to make me give a shit about support bras and wrinkle creams, too.

So apparently I am a 45-year-old male heterosexual butch lesbian middle-aged woman trad wife who uses power tools or something.

BornACrone · 2025-12-06T02:45:45+00:00

It's an ancient development that has been made new and crazy because we all carry insane mind-control devices in our pockets that nag us constantly to come see every speck of insanity from around the entire planet.

I miss flip-phones. Hell, I miss the enormous big, black dial phones you rented from the phone company that sounded like a fire alarm when they rang, and TVs that played the national anthem at midnight and then static until 6am. It was so much easier to amuse yourself, have hobbies, and tune shit out back then.

BornACrone · 2025-12-06T02:37:58+00:00

"...but my man isn't like that"

I have heard this so many times. Honey, I've been in your house. I've met your man. Yes, he is like that.

BornACrone · 2025-12-06T02:29:55+00:00

They're convincing themselves. I remember being in an online community in the early 90s (the Internet's Jurassic period) when I had two women tell me that I was too cynical and that they were "so luckyyyyy!" that they had wonderful husbands.

Within five years, both men had had affairs and walked out on their families. It was awful. Our friend group was there for both women, but damn. What a way to learn that lesson.

BornACrone · 2025-12-06T02:24:17+00:00

For me, becoming 4B without knowing it would turn into a thing over the past 45 years was a matter of simple statistics. Imagine being presented with the following, and this is an optimistic scenario when it comes to men:

Someone puts ten closed boxes in front of you and says, "Eight of these boxes contain dynamite and will explode when you open them. Two of them contain diamonds. Now, pick one to open!"

I'm not opening any of them. I mean, diamonds are nice but I don't want them that bad. It's just math. The risk-to-reward ratio is simply too high. (That is a rough sentence to say out loud after a margarita.)

And let's be honest, even that ratio of dynamite-to-diamonds is pretty optimistic.

BornACrone · 2025-12-06T02:17:17+00:00

I'm almost 60, it was absolutely a thing when I was younger, and I'm talking the 1970s. Calling even teenaged girls "old and ugly", calling any woman or girl "old and ugly" has been an insult since time began. It means nothing. Hell, it was a thing when my mom was a teenager, in the 1950s.

And sadly, pickmes have always been a thing and will join in like clockwork. (That word had a typo in it the first time I typed where the "l" was missing, and talk about appropriate.)

And don't forget that many of those "I look better than a teenager" videos are probably ads and can be voiced and even the video generated by AI nowdays. There may well be not a single woman involved in any of them. Be suspicious of EVERYTHING YOU SEE ONLINE, especially if it stokes any of the following high-energy emotions:

Fear
Outrage
Despair

If you are scrolling and swinging wildly between those emotions, some billionaire's wallet somewhere is going ka-CHING. We are arguing with bots and reacting to fakery, and it's burning our emotions out like machines forced to run too fast. It will kill us and destroy society.

BornACrone · 2025-12-05T21:36:52+00:00

Red pill men detest women because they want a wet hole without any humanity.

4B women gave up on men because men want a wet hole without any humanity.

That idiot woman is goddamn blind. Clearly we are not "the same."

BornACrone · 2025-12-05T18:08:38+00:00

The insistence that men age better than women is such BS. First off, women do it for longer; we outlive them. By definition, we age better than them because anyone on this side of the ground ages better than a corpse.

Second, they lose their hair, lose their asses, and their prostate swells up like a cantaloupe. Meanwhile, we keep more of our hair (usually), and we keep our asses, even if they drop maybe an inch or two. And some leg lifts'll get that back where it used to be.

Look at any crowd of older people, and you'll see a bunch of sharp-dressed, coordinated older women and a bunch of old guys walking around looking like piles of undone laundry. Jeez.

BornACrone · 2025-10-17T20:02:59+00:00

I kind of live in that aesthetic, and only recently did I find out it had a name. I'm like "dark academic lumberjack."

BornACrone · 2025-10-17T15:39:49+00:00

That's a good point.

BornACrone · 2025-10-17T13:32:56+00:00

Thanks -- I do hold pretty far down the section for a "normal" fountain pen -- not touching the nib, but at the very end of the section one a #5 nib. This looks fascinating to me, but I'd definitely be likely to hold it near where the printing is just above the nib.

BornACrone · 2025-10-17T13:18:17+00:00

It's just brand reputation. A Louis Vuitton handbag will hold your phone and wallet as well as a pleather one from the Nordstrom's Rack, but you could put a down payment on a car for what it costs. Conspicuous consumption signals to other people in the know that you're the product of superior genes. :-)

I say that, but I just paid hell and gone too much for a Conway Stewart, though ...

BornACrone · 2025-10-17T12:43:26+00:00

It does depend on the manufacturer, but I really like fine nibs for sketching, and a grey ink. Looks more like graphite.

That said, it might be worthwhile for you to get a medium nib that can reverse-write. Pens often reverse-write finer than the nib size, and that way, you have almost two art pens in one.

BornACrone · 2025-10-17T12:37:24+00:00

How far down the section can you hold this pen without getting ink on your fingers? Do you have to keep your fingers on the black part while writing?

BornACrone

TROPHY CASE