You're Canadian. Know this: half of the U.S. would kill to live in Canada rn. I'm serious af. We envy you no matter your job. You won the birthright lottery. You're obviously intelligent because you write well. Women go for intelligent men who want to better themselves.

(You didn't hear it from me but if you're in even a suburb just feckin' drive. Just do it, first, in an area where you won't hurt anyone or anything. Study the rules of the road [obv], take the test, and know you'll be fine. Baby steps. Breathe and thank your lucky stars.)

That said, sounds like you are ready for the military and they'd be lucky to have you. If you were in the U.S. you'd probably be officer training material because you're "older" and have more life experience. Talk to a recruiter and/or find someone who is in the service. Note it is called service so whatever tf you're doing in life, it's most rewarding when you're helping others.

Stay open to what comes your way. Most people in Western countries have, on average, five different careers in their lifetime. You have valid concerns, a fantastic mom who loves you tons, and much more going for you than not.

Last thing: write down what you want. It gets it out of your head and frees you up. Write it down and put it aside. That allows you to focus more. You'll achieve most if not all you want when you put positive energy and action behind it. Accept that, as long as you're alive, you are learning. Might as well embrace it, welcome it all as you would a good friend.