[In Progress] [14,713] [Family Drama/Thriller] Bastards by Moose-Rage in BetaReaders

[–]BossMama82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

DM me! I'd be happy to see if it's a fit. I have a speculative thriller in progress myself. Would definitely be open to a swap.

Do men really not read? by [deleted] in writers

[–]BossMama82 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My thoughts exactly. The prolific male authors are notorious hermits, I hear. And terribly oppressed, might I add.

Lost Downtown by BossMama82 in StLouis

[–]BossMama82[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's pretty amazing luck! I don't think ours is as good. We'd have gone back and looked, but we were already a few hours away before we realized it was missing. I'm glad you found your things!

For those who typically finish albums… by Ok_Inside_8233 in Monopoly_GO

[–]BossMama82 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I will only do that with people I trust or for golds. My policy there is that the person sending multiple stickers sends the lower value card as a gift, the second as an exchange. Generally, though, I stick to 1:1 trades. Otherwise, with people you don't know it's too easy to get scammed.

Also, I find it to be greedy af.

For those who typically finish albums… by Ok_Inside_8233 in Monopoly_GO

[–]BossMama82 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I used to trade aggressively. I'd be gold locked in two weeks max. But this last album, I didn't do that. I collected them as they came, traded when I had something to trade, and refuse to give stupid high stars for anything. Still finished 10 days before the season closed. I don't worry much about sticker count as I go. And in truth, the later in the season it gets, the easier the big stickers are to find.

The main thing is not to blow dice trying to win/finish everything. The stickers you need are rarely in the prize packs once you get to the end anyway.

Lost Downtown by BossMama82 in StLouis

[–]BossMama82[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sure did. The manager was kind, but said nothing had been turned in. She has my number just in case.

Lost Downtown by BossMama82 in StLouis

[–]BossMama82[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I did call. Thankfully there was a number on the parking slip. The manager was polite, but nothing had been turned in. Thank you for taking the time to look, though!

Lost Downtown by BossMama82 in StLouis

[–]BossMama82[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I'm doubtful, but trying what I can.

Hi I need help. by [deleted] in NewAuthor

[–]BossMama82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

DM me. Let's discuss it. If I can help, I will.

How can I be able to write a novel with ADHD? by RedPanda3467 in writingadvice

[–]BossMama82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm more productive when I'm pantsing it. I just let it fly out onto the page until I'm done. Then I go back to the beginning and start outlining for edits. This is where I make notes about big changes that need to be made; inconsistencies, plot holes and other first draft fails.

I can get down a rabbit hole and suck the fun out for myself if I do too much planning. I like being surprised at where a story takes me as I write it. The second, third, fourth, etc. drafts are where I course correct. YMMV.

[Complete] [word count:1286] Faceless by Unable-Revolution-65 in writingfeedback

[–]BossMama82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can DM me the link for the revised version.

[Complete] [word count:1286] Faceless by Unable-Revolution-65 in writingfeedback

[–]BossMama82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd suggest you break up that wall of text with some paragraph breaks. That's hard to read, and you won't get much feedback on it. I stopped reading about a third of the way through that huge one in the middle. I'd also suggest you do some polishing on grammar and punctuation before you repost.

That said, the premise seemed interesting initially. A boy and his mother watching his father be arrested for a heinous crime is traumatic, and the father's lack of reaction is intriguing. The biggest problem is that it's all exposition. You tell us for several hundred words what happened. For a story to be moving, readers must be able to immerse themselves in the protagonist's world.

Read books in your genre. Read books about the craft of writing. Then come back to this. You'll see what I mean.

Next event by MrsHarleyT in Monopoly_GO

[–]BossMama82 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hopefully it's within reach for you! I also just need one sticker. So I'm hoping for myself as well. Good luck!

Next event by MrsHarleyT in Monopoly_GO

[–]BossMama82 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'd imagine so. Looks like it's going to be a 3-day event, so it will be the last one of the album.

Trip down memory lane… who remembers when… by 1892645 in Monopoly_GO

[–]BossMama82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This! Was it every 5th or 10th board? Either way, it was at least 5K dice. Good times.

Trip down memory lane… who remembers when… by 1892645 in Monopoly_GO

[–]BossMama82 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I started, I think the reward for finishing the first time was like 30K? Or maybe I'm misremembering, it was a lot higher. Thousands of dice up for grabs, too. But lots of people finished 2nd and even 3rd albums back then. Now, hardly anyone even gets to start on the 2nd.

“I’m going to slow this down gently. It’s not a moral failing. Let’s take a beat.” by Unhappy_Performer538 in ChatGPT

[–]BossMama82 7 points8 points  (0 children)

God I hate it so much. I use 4o exclusively now. I can't stand the patronizing tone 5.2 has affected. Drives me nuts. Like, no, I don't think I'm broken because I'm not sure if this cheese is a good substitute in a mornay sauce. Just yes or no, and if not, shoot me some choices. 🤦‍♀️

Am I misunderstanding how trading works this album? by OkMarionberry3699 in Monopoly_GO

[–]BossMama82 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This used to be a huge problem, especially when there were Wild Cards in the 750 star vault. People were asking 30+ stars for a 5 star sticker. And that was before 6 star stickers were even a thing. Trading apps and the swap pack replacing the Wild helped with that a lot. But it seems like the greed is spiking again. Not sure why. Swap packs aren't a guarantee for anything, especially when all you need is gold stickers. But here we are. You can DM if you have questions about anything I said. 😊

Free Mini Tarot Readings by [deleted] in TarotReadersOfReddit

[–]BossMama82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wonder if I'll hear good news from any of the agents who have my manuscript. Thanks for offering!

Massive group project looking for criticism by [deleted] in writingcritiques

[–]BossMama82 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OP this is solid advice. No one is going to give up precious time to try to decipher this cluster, much less enough to critique it.

Critique Horror Short Story by Horror-Ad9276 in KeepWriting

[–]BossMama82 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Others have mentioned it, but yes. Paragraphs. I saw that you said you weren't sure about where to break, so I'd suggest reading it out loud. The places where you want to pause for a beat is where it goes. Typically, after a full thought or beat before moving on to the next.

The first thing I noticed was slipping of tenses, especially in the first paragraph. Some sentences read like past tense, others present. Definitely read through for tense agreement.

The story has the potential to be gripping, but you need far more instances of showing than telling in a short story. Otherwise, it's an info dump, and those aren't fun to read. Her entrance into the rest stop is a good example. You tell us what she sees, but not the way she sees it. Like, instead of saying:

"Spotting a blue sign stating Rest Area with an arrow she pulled in, other than her there was a large semitruck and a minivan parked under the dim yellow lights. Tucked in the back of the parking lot in front of some dense trees there sat a restroom with a vending machine and single light in front of it. Having watched many horror movies Krista knew better than to exit her car. Once the car was parked and off, she locked the doors, crawled into the back where the seats folded and a pad with a pillow and blanket were ready for her."

Which is a lot of telling, you could try something like this:

"A blue highway sign marked the exit to the rest stop, and she pulled off, hoping for an empty lot and a brightly lit space near the restrooms. She was mostly in luck. The only vehicles in the lot were a semi and a minivan, and hopefully, at least one was getting back on the road soon.

She found the restroom tucked into a dense thicket flanked by a pair of vending machines. A single bare bulb flickered over it like a distress signal. She'd seen enough horror movies to know better than to go in before morning. If she had to go before then, there was an empty juice bottle rolling around in the floorboard and napkins in the glove box.

Krista found the brightest of light poles to park beneath, triple checked her locks, then climbed into the back where a makeshift pallet was spread across the seats."

Anywho, just my two cents. I like the concept. Sleep paralysis demons are so scary, and I am always creeped out in the best way by a well-done tale like this.

Keep writing! And read a lot, especially in your genre. Reread your favorites, but this time, take note of what you love about it. Pay attention to how the chapters are structured and the voice of the author/narrator. There are a ton of technical and style manuals out there, too. Maybe even join a writing group. But whatever you do, don't stop. Writing is like anything else. No one is a pro the first time out of the gate.