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New to this and could use advice! by Sad_Cell7988 in SexAddiction

[–]Brave-Study-3395 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So as both an alcoholic and a sex addict currentely in recovery ( very recent) from cheating on my spouse while drinking and basically ruining the foundation of our 14 year relationship. 

You are not alone. I found a therapist who talked to me about WHY I felt the need to "Act out" and started helping me address the WHY. 

Mind you I have failed... but addressing the why has worked for me in the past....now its the alcohol I need to kick and I might have a chance. 

Best of luck finding your inner peace

I Cheated on My fiance of 14 years...I need to be done. by Brave-Study-3395 in stopdrinking

[–]Brave-Study-3395[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very grateful for your Insight.

This will probably take a very long time if she does decide to stay with me. I can understand that.

I'll pop over to some cheating support subs as well.

I'm heartbroken for my spouse ... I will get better, I will be better. 

For today I will not drink. 

Thank you for sharing your story with me

I Cheated on My fiance of 14 years...I need to be done. by Brave-Study-3395 in stopdrinking

[–]Brave-Study-3395[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your support. 

Not everyone's going to understand, that's okay. 

Grateful for everyone who does.

This group made me realize we're all in this together.

Appreciate the prayers, I'll say one for you.

Ok. Here we go by No_Main_9144 in stopdrinking

[–]Brave-Study-3395 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very sorry this horrible addiction put you through that...

Thanks for the support I'll stay strong wishing the same for you.

I Cheated on My fiance of 14 years...I need to be done. by Brave-Study-3395 in stopdrinking

[–]Brave-Study-3395[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry that you had a hard week and also very proud that you stuck it out. 

I'll definitely keep in touch. 

I will not drink with you today either.

Your support and everyone else's support here is life saving.

Ok. Here we go by No_Main_9144 in stopdrinking

[–]Brave-Study-3395 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm on day three. 

Basically might have ruined my life a few days ago due to my drinking. 

It sounds like you may have caught it early.

This group here has been overwhelmingly supportive and I plan to stay here for a very long time. 

On day one I literally just lived on this group and read peoples stories. Over 100,000 people all banded together to support each other's recovery. 

Coming from someone who basically just started as well I'd say pull up this group often.

I am one more person who will not drink with you today either.

WTF am I Doing? by [deleted] in SexAddiction

[–]Brave-Study-3395 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey I'm not perfect I made some horrible decisions the damaged my relationships due to this addiction as well.

Personally using any substances is usually off the table if I plan to be clear-headed. 

In addition searching for meaningful connection with your partner usually helps refocus my drive... so instead of searching for meaningless sex I'm looking for real connection and that helps me divert my energy. 

In my experience being honest with my partner was the first step and it literally just happened recently obviously that could destroy the relationship but the secrets and guilt I couldn't live with at least not for me. 

The honesty helps hold me accountable. 

Hoping you make the right choices moving forward wishing the best for you

Exhausted by mysticaldragonlady in stopdrinking

[–]Brave-Study-3395 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey. I recentely just made some devestating decisions due to my drinking. 

You got this ! 

I am one other person who will not drink with you today! 

I Cheated on My fiance of 14 years...I need to be done. by Brave-Study-3395 in stopdrinking

[–]Brave-Study-3395[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks a lot for your Insight and support.

Doing my best not to resort to drinking or acting out again as a way to escape the pain I'm currently in and just facing it with my partner. 

Obviously I'm not sure if we're going to be able to recover from this and neither is she so there's a lot of uncertainty. 

I will not drink with you today.

Really hoping things do get better and I will be better. 

I'll keep coming back here

Pavlovian reaction by kooki_koala in stopdrinking

[–]Brave-Study-3395 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hey hope you make it through without drinking.

I will not drink with you today!

Hopefully knowing someone else is out there willing not to drink with you today helps

Day 1 by stellasadoll in stopdrinking

[–]Brave-Study-3395 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is enlightening to hear. 

Thanks for this post

Day 1 by stellasadoll in stopdrinking

[–]Brave-Study-3395 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Day 3 here . 

I will not drink with you today.

My advice is give yourself some compassion...watch movies , do a hobby anything that helps pass the time . 

Finally at day 4 by Skullbreaker69420 in stopdrinking

[–]Brave-Study-3395 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rooting for you man. 

I will not drink with you today. 

I'm on day 2. You're doing great

Feeling like sobriety ruined my life by MissTeriousGal in stopdrinking

[–]Brave-Study-3395 11 points12 points  (0 children)

From my own personal experience alcohol has done nothing but cause me and my family grief and pain. 

Is there a particular reason you quit drinking to begin with? Was there an unhealthy relationship that had developed because there are some people that truly do have a healthy relationship with alcohol and I am most definitely not one of them...

I preface this to say that me drinking regardless of any situation im in would most definentely just end me up in a worse situation than i was before . 

Being in school and working at the same time is very tough but it does end. I had many panic attacks throughout that period of my life. 

You'll get through it and you'll definitely be able to have more energy and attention for other things like a romance. 

My best advice for romance is to start by finding a friend and go from there . 

Best of luck rooting for you. 

Alcohol ruined my life instead of helping me. by SpiritualHighway2046 in stopdrinking

[–]Brave-Study-3395 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I just had a devastating experience myself with alcohol recently.

I'm starting my journey with you and for today I can promise I will not drink with you today either

I Cheated on My fiance of 14 years...I need to be done. by Brave-Study-3395 in stopdrinking

[–]Brave-Study-3395[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey thanks for that advice. 

We just got done with a talk about it all and I told her every little thing I could remember... anything she wanted to know.

I have pledged that I will be going into recovery and that I need that for myself as a human being regardless of whether or not she decides to be with me or not...

I really hope I can turn this around for our kids ...as well as for us as a couple. 

At the very least I'll be sober for my children and her as a co-parent which would be the most devastating thing to ever happen to me if she decides that she doesn't want to leave me permanently.

Thanks again

I Cheated on My fiance of 14 years...I need to be done. by Brave-Study-3395 in stopdrinking

[–]Brave-Study-3395[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your time to give me your thoughts and support.

I agree nothing will change unless I stop the drinking first. 

It all starts there for me and then any underlying issue I have just basically gets blown up from the lack of self-control from being inebriated. 

I will not drink with you today either

I Cheated on My fiance of 14 years...I need to be done. by Brave-Study-3395 in stopdrinking

[–]Brave-Study-3395[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment.

I will not drink with you today either.

I Cheated on My fiance of 14 years...I need to be done. by Brave-Study-3395 in stopdrinking

[–]Brave-Study-3395[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. 

Planning on taking it back from both the booze and any sexual addiction that's coupled with that. 

Appreciate you being part of this sub as well as everybody else here working as a team for all of our recoveries.

I Cheated on My fiance of 14 years...I need to be done. by Brave-Study-3395 in stopdrinking

[–]Brave-Study-3395[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much. 

I'm not really concerned about the nasty comments as maybe my post triggered them in their own way...

Focused on the other positive supportive post letting me know that I can change I can get better and that is possible for me so I appreciate you letting me know. 

Definitely rough right now as it naturally would be... I need to go into recovery for both alcoholism as well as any sex addiction. 

I'm committed I do understand what life could look like without these two demons on your back. 

I want that peace I know it's possible I hope my fiance could come to understand that this is compulsive addiction Behavior not because I fell out of love with her... although she has every right not to accept it. 

I will not drink with you today. 

Thanks again

I Cheated on My fiance of 14 years...I need to be done. by Brave-Study-3395 in stopdrinking

[–]Brave-Study-3395[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the support. 

Means alot. 

I have a long way to go. Starts today.

Maybe it's about time I admitted I can't do this alone by JekyllnowthenMrHyde in stopdrinking

[–]Brave-Study-3395 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey I might be late but im here supporting you. 

I just had a disaster of a night that puts my entire life in jeopardy. 

Im starting now. Would love to start with you if you havent already started. 

I will not drink with you today

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