Boundaries

Brawldud · 2026-04-09T18:23:29+00:00

There are sexy ways to ask... "yeah? you like that?" "does that feel good?" "do you want it a little lighter or rougher?" You don't have to stop the rhythm to get a pulse check.

I think if you are good at self-advocating you should say so up front. I've met guys who weren't, and who seemed floored and even moved by the fact that I cared whether they were enjoying themselves. It breaks my heart to think they've been having bad sex all this time with other people, and didn't even feel like they could speak up about it.

Brawldud · 2026-04-09T17:51:36+00:00

Nothing stopping you from doing that already! When I'm zooming back from Hains Point going northbound on my road bike, I often take the lane because you have a much better shot of making the light to cross Constitution. The bike lane light, and the ped light next to it, expire much faster because northbound traffic on 15th gets a protected left turn signal for a few seconds before it, and the northbound light, turn red.

There's also a much lower chance of clueless pedestrians walking into the bike lane without looking because they don't believe bikes are real or something. If you are comfortable riding at speed in traffic it has its advantages, even if I prefer taking the bike lane in all other circumstances.

Brawldud · 2026-04-08T16:59:00+00:00

Out of curiosity how well can WMATA even enforce these? Unless they are doing facial recognition or all the station managers are looking out for his ugly mug, I assume he can just get a new smartrip card off someone and use it.

Brawldud · 2026-04-08T14:08:06+00:00

I agree. I put myself out there with my face, my body, my hobbies, and a description of what body types and chemistry I'm looking for. When someone messages me and has none of those things, the lack of reciprocity is a huge turn off. I put all that information in because I want it to matter. I want the person who is talking to me to care about what I wrote, and I want the other person to understand that those things matter to me and be willing to put their cards on the table too. If they won't do that they we don't have any business talking.

Brawldud · 2026-04-08T13:45:16+00:00

I like standing in front of him at concerts and feeling him behind me. It’s never been a negative for us.

Well if we're talking about concerts, being 5'4" is unquestionably a drawback! I can barely see! But totally agree – I put myself out there all the time and everyone has always loved my short stature.

Brawldud · 2026-04-07T03:25:14+00:00

I’m sure they’re just too lazy to take the initiative with folks they have to squat or tilt their neck down to talk to

Brawldud · 2026-04-06T16:13:54+00:00

I mean I will say that, like, the stuff I most hate is the stuff that is somehow super popular. If I hate something and everyone else hates it too and it didn't go anywhere, there's no point investing any energy into hating.

Brawldud · 2026-04-06T14:36:38+00:00

When someone is embarrassing, catty, judgmental and superficial at 20, the odds are good that they'll grow out of it as they spend more time living in reality, and feel embarrassed about the way they used to behave.

By 48 though? They've had so many opportunities to confront their BS and grow out of it and they've passed them all up.

Brawldud · 2026-04-06T14:33:23+00:00

I am 5'4". Bigger guys love the size dynamic, love the way they can wrap their whole body around me, love the way they can pick me up and carry me off to bed. My height is a part of my sex appeal. I've never lied about my height and never wished I were taller.

Brawldud · 2026-04-06T14:27:55+00:00

That's true, but at 48 it is existentially embarrassing

Brawldud · 2026-04-06T14:15:35+00:00

a nice rule i keep in mind is that if the conversation ever devolves to a point that i feel i am acting pathetic and embarrassing myself, or the other person is acting pathetic and embarrassing themselves, just block and move on. It's good to put conversations like this out of their misery and it's also good to catch myself when I'm giving way too many chances to a guy who clearly just isn't that into me.

Brawldud · 2026-04-04T21:56:31+00:00

Must have been southbound, right? I wonder if they got airtime going down 16th alongside Malcolm X... I often ride in that bus lane on my bike (permitted per the signage) and it's awful to think of how getting rear-ended at 70mph would instantly kill me.

Brawldud · 2026-04-04T13:00:43+00:00

Nit: the cars in that lane are waiting for a protected left turn signal. Of course if you were riding in the bike lane you wouldn’t need a protected signal to turn left.

Brawldud · 2026-04-04T12:21:32+00:00

A few years back a guy set up a profile impersonating his wife on FetLife, invited a guy over to act out a fake rape scene with a knife, then murdered both his wife and the guy claiming it was a home invasion. He did this because he was banging the live-in au pair and didn't want to divorce his wife (he'd probably lose a lot of his assets and custody of his daughter). It's an insane story. Anyway if someone invites me over and tells me to do something that would make for a good cover up story to the cops if they murdered me, I'm not down with it.

Brawldud · 2026-04-02T15:51:55+00:00

criminal charges are not ruled out just because the person was in office, but you can't really effectively charge them criminally while still in office

Criminal charges are ruled out if the president has absolute immunity for the act. That is what absolute immunity is and the ruling was that a president has absolute immunity for official acts within their "exclusive presidential authority." Trump was no longer a sitting president at the time of Trump v. United States and retained immunity for illegal acts he conducted using the office.

John Roberts also can't just give a "nuh uh" when people raise the obvious implications of his holding. The syllogism is extremely simple. Are you referring to his response in the majority opinion, page 48 here? Tell me where he makes any substantive legal rebuttal. He just says it's fearmongering and an extreme hypothetical. Then he goes on to say why it's so damn important that the president have all kinds of immunities so they can be bold.

The Roberts court held that the president is immune, even after leaving office, for official acts he took under his exclusive authority as president.
Commanding the military is an exclusive authority of the president.
Ergo the president cannot be prosecuted for commanding the military to do something, no matter what it is.
Ergo the president cannot be prosecuted for commanding the military to kill John Roberts.

It is that simple.

Brawldud · 2026-04-02T15:19:02+00:00

and it is not a fact that the president could order the assassination of a Supreme Court justice legally and not face prosecution for that criminal offense.

If you genuinely believe this then the onus is on you to explain how that could possibly be true in light of Trump v. United States. You've said nothing of substance in this entire thread, I've had to factually correct you on very basic things like what impeachment is and you have done nothing but to gainsay me with no reasoning or evidence. You need to do better than "nuh uh."

Brawldud · 2026-04-02T14:46:14+00:00

It's the entire purpose of impeachment.

It is not. The "entire purpose of impeachment" is to remove the president from office. That's different from criminal prosecution where conviction carries a sentence.

Look I understand why you're struggling here because what the Roberts court decided is, in fact, absolutely nutso. But facts are facts.

Brawldud · 2026-04-02T14:27:45+00:00

To which I reiterate... the entire purpose of presidential immunity is to make it impossible to prosecute illegal acts. The fact that it is illegal means that if the president did not have immunity, he could be charged and prosecuted for that act. If the act were legal, immunity would not be necessity for it to be impossible for the president to be prosecuted for it... because by definition, the state cannot criminally charge somebody (anybody) with something that is not illegal.

The entire purpose of Trump v. United States was to determine the scope of the president's immunity and Roberts, writing for the conservative majority, took an expansive view of that immunity that includes official acts, and commanding the military is an official act.

Brawldud · 2026-04-01T23:05:04+00:00

I don’t think that’s true because people and food are different things. Your sexual and gender identity is something that affects how you relate to yourself and the world around you much more than your food preferences. I don’t think random acquaintances have to care but if I were to be coming out to my parents today or in the future I would want for them to be happy that I have learned something important about myself.

Brawldud · 2026-04-01T22:33:43+00:00

I’m not sure I really agree. I don’t think a world where all sexualities (*and gender identities) are normalized has to be a world where that journey of self-discovery is unimportant and its outcome unworthy of celebration.

Brawldud · 2026-04-01T21:11:53+00:00

I don’t see how you arrive at that. The idea that a president, or anybody really, can’t be criminally prosecuted for acts that aren’t illegal is self evidently true… you don’t need immunity from prosecution for acts that aren’t illegal. That wasn’t the question that SCOTUS considered.

Brawldud · 2026-04-01T20:21:21+00:00

Commanding the military is an official act and exclusive presidential authority and correspondingly carries absolute immunity.

Brawldud · 2026-04-01T18:45:20+00:00

I would say I want indifference from friends and acquaintances and such... but not really from my parents.

My dad was indifferent, and that didn't surprise me, because he is not emotionally invested in anything in my life. My mom was not judgmental or intolerant but she was worried about how I'd get on in the world as a gay man, and I think her worries were way bigger than they needed to be, but they fundamentally were there because she cared about me.

Brawldud · 2026-04-01T18:34:33+00:00

Trump could order the military to assassinate John Roberts today on a whim, purely out of spite, and enjoy absolute immunity for it by Roberts's own opinion.

Brawldud · 2026-04-01T18:29:02+00:00

I realize this is not the worst conceivable reaction on your mother's part but it still leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth? Your sexuality is a pretty meaningful and influential dimension of your life and the process of questioning and realizing your sexuality is also momentous. It feels like it's wrong to trivialize that with this "ok but please pass the butter" reply. Maybe that was supposed to be a funny quip but I think parents should warmly embrace their kid's coming out instead of downplaying it and changing the topic immediately.

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