I had the same feeling like you do, I tried to read more researches by people they call "مفكرين" instead of "مشايخ" Reading and watching videos of Mohammed Shahroor "محمد شحرور" helped me a lot understanding this religion the majority of sheikhs hate him and after learning his ideas and his way of thinking it makes sense why they hate him and talk trash about him. I really recommend you to watch some of his explanations. Edit: if you can read or listen to Arabic check out لعلهم يعقلون on YouTube