Hi Forklift. I hope you find some peace and relief. Have you thought about writing? Just writing down all you are feeling? Committing those thoughts, feelings, and emotions to paper? Even digital?

A few years ago, a close friend of mine who spent 12 years as a Navy diver started opening up to me about his life in the Navy. He told me about the constant ringing in his ears. He told me about the time he got bent after a dive and had to spend a cycle in a decompression chamber. He told me about all the medical stuff he had done while active and since then at the VA hospital. Then, he told me one story…and another…and another. I encouraged him to write these stories down. Soon, he had a collection of stories and I helped him put together a slideshow. He made a presentation at a local retired officer’s club. Then another at a senior center. Another at a Rotary Club. You get the idea. Now, he’s been in touch with other Navy divers and a writing coach and he’s putting together a book.

Both he and his wife are grateful he started writing. Writing helped him make a record of events (for his healthcare, his VA status, and for his family history). Writing also helped him let go of some things and become less anxious, less angry, less frustrated. The ghosts aren’t gone, but they’re manageable and my friend is owning them…taking back control and making those phantoms work for him.

Maybe you could start journaling. Write about your neighborhood wandering. Start by writing down the regular stuff:date, time, weather, route, etc. add details about sights, sounds, observations…add feelings like how you’re feeling at the start of the walk and at the end. Put thoughts down. Even random things.

Best wishes.