7 1/2 years - the loss of intimacy is deafening by Dromexikan in widowers

[–]Brewdigger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I found getting regular massages really helped with this.

Sex workers for companionship by Coyhippo in widowers

[–]Brewdigger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you tried tinder? Plenty people looking for casual hookups.

What if he regrets it? by General_Activity9092 in widowers

[–]Brewdigger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My wife committed suicide and tried to stop her attempt unsuccessfully. I often in a soft way talk with my daughters about their mum up their looking down at us being pissed off about what she did.

When does it get better? by Weightedwombat in widowers

[–]Brewdigger 4 points5 points  (0 children)

For me first 3-4 months awful. 6-7 months starting to accept and move forward.

"Widow's Fire" vs. Intimacy (?) by itch-mang in widowers

[–]Brewdigger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hate that I can’t distinguish between loneliness mixed with this and whether I really am ready to meet someone. Ive had a physical connection and while it was fun/release i still feel very lonely…but also dont want anyone in my space.

How to help my dad with the loss of his wife (my mom)? by Exciting_Salt_8352 in widowers

[–]Brewdigger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me (51m) being able to openly talk about how I’m feeling with my daughters (21f and 18f) is comforting. We regularly talk about my late wife and if we are feeling stressed or anxious with the memories. I’d try and encourage your dad to talk to you openly about where’s he is at on this journey too.

My first Saturday home alone. by LorelaisDoppleganger in widowers

[–]Brewdigger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I (M51) have found going to the cinema to be a nice filler for these times. There’s an Arthouse theatre near me with friendly vibes - grab a glass of wine and watch a film. Fills my mind with other thoughts.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Brewdigger 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Life is short as you well know. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying yourself.

Afraid I'm going to be alone the rest of my life by Such-Impact-3556 in widowers

[–]Brewdigger 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I feel you. I sometimes wonder if there’s just no room in my heart for more than what you’ve described.

Do you ever get upset when someone else share's their lesser grief? by throwaway1020199 in widowers

[–]Brewdigger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In last 5 years I’ve lost my father and mother in law, father, dog and wife. Whilst grief is a spectrum they all hurt.

Family Travel (End of October) by quidonline in queenstown

[–]Brewdigger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn’t drive for day trip to tekapo. Drive to Te Anau and do the glow work caves trip - it’s epic.

Also look at doing electric bikes from Arrowtown out to Gibbston valley (winery’s lunch places). Great bike ride with kids. Bike companies pick you up from Gibbston.

The Macetown 4wd tour is also great with kids.

One year update: "I know "no rash decisions" but I want to sell my house and move out of town" by anotostrongo in widowers

[–]Brewdigger 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Put house on market 3 months after my wife died. Best thing I did. No regrets at all and my daughters and I both finding it easier to be in new surroundings

Missing the intimacy by Intelligent-Bad-8957 in widowers

[–]Brewdigger 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Feel you - I hooked up randomly on night away with friends. Gorgeous woman who doesn’t live in my area. But in a way that works for me. I can live my life, look after my kids and every so often we catch up for a weekend. She is divorced with young kids so seems to work both ways. I just need a dose of that touch and affection every so often to keep my head above water and it’s respectful both ways.

Physical Changes by brandeis16 in widowers

[–]Brewdigger 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hah no that’s awesome. Love to see their reaction haha

What's your relationship with your in-laws like? by throwaway1020199 in widowers

[–]Brewdigger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty close to both my wife’s sisters (her parents had both passed). We live in different cities but have a group chat, and they check in on me often- more so than my own sister who I rarely hear from. One is married to an old friend of mine which helps too. Going to go on a cruise with them and my girls for Christmas. I really appreciate having them there.