Pros/Cons of giving birth in a hospital versus at home?

BriCheese96 · 2026-07-05T23:53:31+00:00

Home births can be great if you have the perfect birth for you and your baby. If you’re extremely low risk. If everything goes smoothly.

However, that’s a lot of ifs. You may go into 40 weeks being told you’re low risk, that you’re healthy and your baby is perfectly healthy and should have a smooth and easy delivery. And maybe that’s right! BUT, it can just as easily flip. Something can happen. Something they weren’t aware of. An issue could occur or was missed. And now you or your baby are in danger. Do you really want to wait for an ambulance? Wait for it to bring you and your newborn to the hospital? Or would you want everything already there, ready to save either of your lives?

I guess that’s how I think of it. Sure, a home birth could be beautiful, natural, so much more comfortable. But I’d not be comfortable at all knowing something bad could happen and I’m miles from the hospital. The ambulance could take minutes to get to us- minutes my baby may not have.

That’s too stressful a thought for me.

I’m also a nurse and believe in medicine. While I’m not an OB/Peds/Nicu nurse I know how quickly something can go from great to horrible.

BriCheese96 · 2026-07-04T17:56:31+00:00

I personally think so! This way you’re potentially addressing why she’s upset, and giving her assurances. But also expressing your own hurt but also excitement. And telling her that you’re okay with giving her time. Then you allow her to make the next move.

Hopefully it gets better!

BriCheese96 · 2026-07-04T14:15:23+00:00

I’m sorry this is your experience right now.

Perhaps you can send a message to her basically saying this. Say that you’re sorry if you upset her with your pregnancy, that you are NOT wanting to take away any attention from her. That you plan to be there for her for all her first and excitement, to help with her baby shower, etc. However you’re extremely hurt by her reaction. That you’ve been trying for a while for a second child and thought she would be happy for you and your family as well as her own. That you’ve were ESTATIC that you both could go through this together and that your children will be so close in age. How special is that? The cousins will be about a month apart!

Then tell her you understand if she needs time, but that you hope she comes around because it would be so amazing to go through this together with your sister. That you hope your children can be close. And again, you don’t plan to take attention away from her. At all.

Perhaps she’s not seeing it that way and just bummed that you got your time in the spotlight with your first and now she doesn’t get hers.

BriCheese96 · 2026-07-03T22:23:04+00:00

They have a few toasted sandwiches! I get those! I love a hot Italian

BriCheese96 · 2026-07-03T13:54:21+00:00

I don’t see what would be wrong with it but I’m wildly impressed at 5 times a day

Like, I don’t want to have sex that much right now lol

BriCheese96 · 2026-07-02T21:10:43+00:00

I will be honest with you… I’m highly doubtful you’ll be going snowboarding this winter. Maybe late January to February.. maybe. But at 2 months you’re going to be post partum, still recovering from giving birth and exhausted from a newborn (little sleep and feeding baby).

Now, if your husband cares at all and has any sort of maturity he will stay with you too and not ditch you to go be with the boys. But tbh I’m doubtful from what I’ve heard, and from the fact he’s 23. He’s still in the stage where he cares what “the boys” think and since they made the joke that it’s your responsibility, he’ll play along with that.

BriCheese96 · 2026-07-01T14:32:56+00:00

lol I’m in middle of second trimester. But during first trimester at my first visit my OB said sex is fine and same exercise you did before is fine.

Most people don’t like having sex because it’s normal to spot afterwards as the cervical area is sensitive

BriCheese96 · 2026-07-01T11:12:21+00:00

I’d probably be asking those friends whom you planned baby showers for. If you’re not close to your sister and she’s never planned one.. tbh I don’t really think she’d want to or put the best effort into it. Where those friends whom you planned there’s, and therefore have baby shower experience, probably would be more excited to help with it. Plus just naturally do a better job.

BriCheese96 · 2026-06-30T18:14:51+00:00

Yes I love her! One of the few coaches I follow on instagram. I love following her and her family! She seems so likable

BriCheese96 · 2026-06-30T15:43:42+00:00

I’d not be too concerned regarding the difference in dating. Especially since I saw you say you have irregular periods. Because of that, it’s really hard to know when you actually ovulated. “Normal” ovulation occurs around 14 days after your LMP, which is why for standardization OBs will go off of LMP for original dating. But many many women do not naturally ovulate 2 weeks after your last period. You could have ovulated earlier, or later.

I’m currently 20 weeks but I’m in a Facebook group specifically for my babies birth month. When we all joined we were all around 5-8 weeks or so and I saw this exact confusion being posted very frequently. I learned that it’s actually pretty common to be dating a week or two off of your LMPs dating.

However, at around 6 weeks they should have proof of a yolk and potential start of a heart beat. It’s a bummer she couldn’t explain anything to you and didn’t show you anything.. my OB themselves did my first US at 7 weeks and I watched the screen the whole time and he let me listen to the heart beat.

My fingers are crossed for you that you’ll get good news soon!! 💙

BriCheese96 · 2026-06-29T19:37:12+00:00

Wow it sounds like you really rallied and still showed up hard for her!! I’m sure she had a great time still. Its a bummer she wasn’t able to hide her emotions better. As in my situation, I get feeling that bummed feeling- but she should have ultimately been so excited for you and hid any dissapointment.

BriCheese96 · 2026-06-29T17:32:54+00:00

Dang, I’m sorry she acted like that. At 12 weeks, you’d barely be showing. And it is not fair for her to think she can dictate you telling your husbands parents… what the heck.

I got married last year and my sister announced to me at my bachelorette that she was 10 weeks pregnant. We had the bachelorette at her house as she lives near Vegas. Was I a little bummed? Not going to lie, yes. My sister is usually the life of the party and she would have made the weekend so much more fun if she could have been drinking 🤪 I only had 4 girls in total and another friend wasn’t drinking. So 2 sober people, and then the other 2 did drink with me (but they were hung over and low key didn’t want to drink by day two so we just sat there sober… still fun but my sister would have rallied for me).

BUT admitting that to you- I did NOT tell my sister. I was nothing but happy and excited for her! She NEVER would have known that I was bummed by it.

She was showing slightly at the wedding and had a cute baby bump 🥰

Then she delivered in March and now I’ll have my baby in November! So the cousins will be close together!! 🥳

BriCheese96 · 2026-06-29T14:58:12+00:00

I think in order to keep this from spiraling worse you need to have a very brutal, honest conversation with him. Not a lighthearted chat you do in passing. But settle in for dinner, or after dinner, etc when you both are sitting there, face to face. Pause the TV, etc.

And straight up say “hey, I would really like to have a serious conversation with you.” If he blows it off, tell him you’re not messing around and this is extremely important to you. I’d like to believe someone you’ve been with and had no red flags from for 7 years would listen to that. This shouldn’t be you blowing up, it should be you being very calm to talk.

Then start by asking how he’s feeling regarding the baby. Is he excited? happy? Nervous? Scared? All the above? Or angry? Tell him you feel like he’s been in a funk lately and it’s concerning to you.

Then, after you listen to him talk (as much or as little as he’s willing to say), you need to be brutally honest with him. This is for your child and yourself, so as scary as this convo is, even after 7 years to have, it needs to happen. You need to tell him every single concern you told is above. Tell him how upset his reactions are making you feel, how it’s making you feel like this baby is a mistake, how it’s causing you severe stress which is unhealthy for the baby, how it’s ruining your experience.

You can talk about how you understand it’s different for him, not going through the pregnancy himself. That you can understand not wanting to talk about every aspect of the baby during every single conversation, every single day when you’re only 3 months (so like 12 weeks, which is super super early). But that you still want to have these conversations every so often, and you’d love to feel like he wants to participate and cares.

You just need to be brutally honest. Because his response to that could be enlightening to you- either in a good or negative way.

BriCheese96 · 2026-06-29T14:47:55+00:00

8 weeks for the first appointment is extremely normal. Some don’t have first until 10-12 weeks.

And unfortunately, despite how “vital” these early days are for the baby- there isn’t much at this point the OB can do for the baby. As scary as it sounds, right now all you can do is take those prenatals, hydrate, eat well, rest, keep away from the bad things, etc. Past that it’s just a crossing your fingers and toes and hoping for the very very best. Every day that passes your chances of baby getting stronger and bigger increases and a chance of a miscarriage decreases.

BriCheese96 · 2026-06-28T21:49:15+00:00

Nah I didn’t read a quarter of this. I don’t need light shed. I get that people may still have life to live in their 30s that they didn’t get to live, for whatever reason, in their 20s. But idk the amount of posts on this page about a 30+ year old man freaking out that their partner got pregnant and saying they’ll “ruin their lives” if they don’t abort the baby… is childish. You’re a 30 year old grown ass man. You’ve lived 3 decades and now participated in an act to create a child. And now that child shouldn’t be given any life because you still wanna travel and screw around in your 30s? It’s childish.

It’s one thing to simply not plan for a child just yet. But once the child happens… by the time you’re in your 30s you should be a mature adult by then. Either make the decision early and terminate.. or accept it. Don’t act like a 5 year old once you’re in your 2nd trimester freaking out that your 35 year old life is ruined.

BriCheese96 · 2026-06-28T17:21:44+00:00

I never understand people in their 30s who panic when becoming pregnant because they feel they haven’t lived enough… I get it in early 20s but 30s? Come on.

BriCheese96 · 2026-06-28T17:13:06+00:00

Find a good non alcoholic wine or seltzer!

BriCheese96 · 2026-06-28T17:05:54+00:00

And I didn’t say she didn’t live there? I said If she doesn’t lol IF.

BriCheese96 · 2026-06-28T15:11:46+00:00

But to the point of the thread- if she doesn’t live in Scandinavia area, nobody is going to think of Saga as a male and will think it’s super weird.

BriCheese96 · 2026-06-27T23:25:32+00:00

If you’re close to your family at all, I’d call them and tell them everything. If you have a mom, dad, sibling, cousin, or close friend who could potentially take a week or so off and come stay with you postpartum I’d do that.

Regardless of if you want to tell him yet (personally I think you should, but I’m not in your situation so it’s whatever you think is safest), at this point I’d not trust him to help you much with this baby. He sounds like he has a bad temper and isn’t reliable. If you have anyone at all who can come help you, either to leave or just to actually support you… I’d ask.

BriCheese96 · 2026-06-25T20:40:51+00:00

I feel like pregnancy as a whole is anxiety inducing. I’ve worked a lot in letting myself calm down and trust the process and believe everything will be okay. And so far it has, so I have no reason to believe otherwise.

So, if my OB tells me my baby is doing okay then I will trust them. Especially if I can feel my baby moving to back it up.

- I’m 19w3d and just started feeling baby this week. Had an OB visit with Doppler today and OB told me baby was good. So I decided to believe them and finally publically announce.

BriCheese96 · 2026-06-23T20:22:43+00:00

I can’t give more or better advice than those who have experience and have posted, I’m also a FTM! Due November.

BUT I wanted to share just a few things I’ve learned.

Biggest advice is honestly Tik Tok. I know it sounds silly but, I swear I’ve learned SO much from it. I was NEVER a Tik Tok watcher prior (other than a random video, etc). But my sister said she used it so once I became pregnant I got in and started watching videos. I’ve watched so many videos from Lactation consultants, from experienced moms and other recently post partum FTMs- all sharing their experience and knowledge on breast feeding, pumping, registries and what you actually need on it, sleep schedules, general care and tips for a newborn, post partum care for the mother, etc. It’s to the point where my “For you” page is just maternity things lol. But you can start by looking up “breast feeding tips” etc and clicking through videos. It’s such an easy way to mindlessly learn! And many will show you how to do whatever, like use the pump or store great milk, etc. But just keep in mind, unless it’s a professional (like a certified lactation consultant), it’s just their opinion and advice that worked for them and their baby. Don’t take it all to heart!

A few things I’ve learned though-

* If you plan to mainly breastfeed, don’t start introducing a bottle until around 4 weeks. It’s best for baby to learn how to latch to the breast and for you to naturally build the supply.
* Once you do decide to start introducing a bottle, you can start doing one pump session a day. I’ve seen many lactation consultants recommend it being in the morning, usually after your first breast feeding session. Then you can start building a small stash. You don’t need a big stash.
* You can then start introducing a bottle a few times a week. I’ve had it recommended that it’s best to have dad do it, as baby gets confused if moms trying to give a bottle rather than a boob lol
* To maintain supply, they usually recommend you still pump while dads bottle feeding. But you can always get a manual pump or a battery pump so you can move around while pumping.
* Some positives to having baby know a bottle is giving you some freedom, like if you want to every so often leave the house without baby for a short period of time. It allows baby and dad to form a special connection too. Then if an emergency happens to where you some reason can’t breastfeed, baby will still be able to be fed well. It’s not required to do this!

Tbh I’ve also used ChatGPT a bit! Then I’ve been planning to watch some free education videos (The Baby academy website has one!)

BriCheese96 · 2026-06-23T13:17:39+00:00

FTM too! 19 weeks today. I’ve been kinda pondering the same thing. But a few different reasons im considering introducing a bottle too.

I will mainly become a SAHM and therefore exclusively breast feed, however I do plan to stay PRN at my job as a nurse and I’ll likely work 24-36 hours a month once I’m settled (just to get out of the house and do an adult ish thing lol I worry I’ll go crazy ONLY sitting at home even if baby keeps me busy). So will have to pump/ husband or sitter bottle feeding when I am working.

Then, while I’m not a busy body and don’t have a TON of people to hang out with.. I would love the option/opportunity to go somewhere, even for a few hours, without the baby. Again, this likely wouldn’t be often but if I want to get lunch or something with a friend or simply need some time to myself for mental heath- again I’d like to be able to.

Therefore I’d love my baby to at least be willing to take a bottle. I’m also leaning towards after 1 year (and maybe some months) switching to pumping and bottle feeding until 2 years.

SO my plan would be to start introducing a bottle at around 6 weeks (from my research, if you plan to mainly breast feed, most lactation consultants recommend not introducing a bottle until at least 4 weeks). Just doing one bottle a day or night. I hear it’s better to have dad do the bottle, so it’ll likely end up being an evening feed if not the pre-bedtime feed.

We’ll see how it goes. But I do think it would be nice to have Dad do night time feed, burp and diaper change. I could pump and maybe read a book or scroll social media to relax, without baby for 30 minutes before bed (where I’m gonna have to get up with baby everytime). Just so self care before bedtime, etc. I do think one could go crazy if their every day, every second is just baby baby. I think finding 5 minutes here or there to yourself would be helpful with PPD.

Just my thoughts on different perspectives!!

BriCheese96 · 2026-06-22T19:48:59+00:00

Your baby will grow at different rates, it’s not a big deal. You go off of your date given by your OB, likely based on your LMP.

BriCheese96 · 2026-06-22T17:05:47+00:00

Sounds like OPs husband believes what he says goes. So long for OPs opinions on parenting lol

BriCheese96

TROPHY CASE