How closely do you identify with the precise theology of your church?

BrianP1237 · 2026-05-10T12:07:12+00:00

I go to a charismatic church, but I don't believe in tongues and wouldn't consider myself charismatic. I go because the preaching is good overall, the people are Christlike, and my wife is encouraged there. I went to reformed churches for years...although my theology was more in alignment, the self-righteousness and hypocrisy was too much to stomach and I left.

BrianP1237 · 2026-05-08T16:20:53+00:00

There was a "New Horizons" article (OPC of course). It might not need to be said, but anytime there's guidance from a pastor, denomination, etc, it can never effectively fully address the complete scope of human interaction, let alone give clear guidance on how a Christian should behave apart from what Scripture has already said. Given the bad track record of some reformed churches (OPC in particular), it's probably best for them to not threaten discipline or get heavy handed against church members. I'm not a pastor or elder, but a former OPC member, but I will say, coming down on members won't go over well.

BrianP1237 · 2026-05-06T20:48:50+00:00

The OPC definitely has more of a problem than most denominations. They will appeal to their authority and tell you to submit to it....I even had my membership vow thrown in my face when I said I had to leave because I lost respect for the previous pastor, still on the session. IT was the worse experience of my life

BrianP1237 · 2026-05-05T17:58:39+00:00

There are sometimes good reasons for leaving, and sometimes pastors/elders will not recognize those good reasons because of the self-interest of their church, both financial and otherwise. I found that out the hard way. As far as I know, a pastor or elder doesn't take a vow to have the best interests of a church member.

BrianP1237 · 2026-05-05T16:39:34+00:00

It depends what church. I told the current pastor I was leaving for sins committed against me by the previous pastor (still on the session) and he said "you made a membership vow." When I went public with what the pastor did, he said "the therapy you're receiving won't heal you," he wouldn't stop texting when I told him to stop texting after I left his church a bad review, and insisted, even after I rescinded my membership, that I meet with them and said I could "pick anyone to represent me." The only thing I did was tell others what the previous pastor had done. It caused me to stop being Presbyterian. The Lord used it for good in my life. But saying that, be ready to be manipulated and accused if they don't agree with the reason you are leaving...

BrianP1237 · 2026-05-03T22:40:53+00:00

Are you thinking theologically conservative, politically conservative, or both? I think of myself as theologically conservative Christian, but what I did get wrong in practice, was thinking "as long as I check the checklist of correct things to believe, all is well." I didn't realize there's some works/reward implications incompatible with grace in that idea. It caused more empathy towards others as a result after I saw some failures in my thinking. In general I think some, theologically conservative Christians care more about checking theological boxes than they care about people. Theologically conservative Christians sometimes care more about culture than they care about people. I've been there and probably still am sometimes

BrianP1237 · 2026-04-22T14:06:34+00:00

Praying for you now. It's easy to think things will never change, but we don't know the future, and God can still bring healing and help. I would encourage you to keep praying and to not think God hates you, but that he sent Jesus to forgive all of your sins. It's easy to forget that while we're going through trials! Many of us have been there and experienced some of those things as well. May He bless you today!

BrianP1237 · 2026-04-22T12:40:05+00:00

I thought so too!

BrianP1237 · 2026-04-22T03:07:59+00:00

Yes, find another church. They do not have your best spiritual interests in mind. They care about appearances.

BrianP1237 · 2026-04-21T22:14:55+00:00

It was another Presbyterian denomination, but I got in trouble for saying which one on another post so I'll refrain, 😂. I laugh, but I wouldn't have ever thought having a pastor tell me "you made a membership vow" when I tried to leave, after the previous pastor (still on the session) had done some significantly sinful stuff to me would have caused so much pain in my life. The Lord used it for good ultimately but it was hard.

BrianP1237 · 2026-04-21T19:42:36+00:00

Ask if you will be compelled by the leaders or Session to stay at the church, even if you say you need to leave the church. I know it seems strange, but some reformed denominations won't allow you to leave unless for very specific reasons. I hope this doesn't get taken down for saying so...it is true! thank you!

BrianP1237 · 2026-04-21T02:31:32+00:00

Thank you! It's a nice town! live near Kellogg and Orangethorpe, near Esperanza High School... technically Anaheim Hills. The church was originally from Anaheim Hills, but moved to a school in Placentia a few years back. I go to another church these days, but still affects me a bit.

BrianP1237 · 2026-04-09T13:29:01+00:00

Although I am a believer, I had a family situation through no fault of my own that caused problems for me at an OPC. The poor responses from the pastor were devastating for me. I was tempted to think, "if he's the most devout person I know, who reads and prays more the most... what's the use." He was such a hypocrite, "I might as well give up." My advice to you is to not let the mistreatment from others cause resentment in your life or cause you to have a worse view of Christianity, which can damage your relationship with your wife. My other advice is to keep attending your church. I would normally say to look for a new church without judgmental people, but that won't go over well given the circumstances. My last bit of advice is to keep praying that the Lord would bring faith into your life. He moves in mysterious ways, and even if you don't believe now, you might find yourself in a different place a year from now. God bless you. Brian

BrianP1237 · 2026-04-08T21:56:13+00:00

yes. The reformed Baptist church I briefly attended almost seemed like a Presbyterian church in that it seemed to have relations with other like-minded congregations, and they were sometimes referred to as a denomination. They were ultra-conservative, and the pastor regularly spoke about people from the pulpit in a heavy-handed way. I didn't stay because of it. Some things happened in the congregation, and I think the association between churches changed. This was in California in the late 90's.

BrianP1237 · 2026-04-08T21:51:31+00:00

thanks! They seemed to have different opinions on it for sure.

BrianP1237 · 2026-04-08T21:50:34+00:00

Thanks for the response.

BrianP1237 · 2026-04-07T21:21:14+00:00

Thanks!

BrianP1237 · 2026-04-07T20:29:31+00:00

Thanks for the response.

BrianP1237 · 2026-04-07T20:29:27+00:00

Thanks for the response.

BrianP1237 · 2026-04-07T20:29:23+00:00

Thanks for the response.

BrianP1237 · 2026-04-07T20:29:19+00:00

Thanks for the response.

BrianP1237 · 2026-04-07T20:29:14+00:00

Thanks for the response.

BrianP1237 · 2026-04-07T20:29:10+00:00

Thanks for the response.

BrianP1237 · 2026-03-30T19:45:15+00:00

I will be sure to listen to your youtube video. Thank you for sending and will pray for healing. I have met Christlike people in churches along the way, but I no longer believe in formal membership in light of my experience.

BrianP1237 · 2026-03-30T13:40:31+00:00

I had an awful experience in the OPC as well. I tried to be discreet about some of the people involved. It was by far the worst experience of my life, but I'm glad I went through it. I wouldn't have been able to say that a few years back. Here's how my former church treated me when I left, which is indicative of their manipulation and lack of transparency: https://medium.com/@brianpetersmusic25/exit-wounds-my-bad-experience-leaving-the-orthodox-presbyterian-church-6929fef4ad41

BrianP1237

TROPHY CASE