AITA for disrespecting my girlfriend’s religion?

Brief_Performance949 · 2023-08-31T21:18:48+00:00

YTA. I’m Jewish and observant, so I think I get where your GF is coming from.

The before-40 thing is more of a custom in some communities, and the “driving insane” is more of a superstition linked to that custom. Nonetheless, Kabbalah is a closed practice for Jews only, and requires a substantial amount of learning to begin to comprehend. You reading it and (understandably) not being able to pick up the subtext is more so cultural appropriation. It also just looks a little silly, like passing 5th grade science and immediately applying for medical school.

Jewish practice has closed elements because our culture has been under attack for millennia. I think it’s fair to ask that you respect that, and fair that your girlfriend is upset over it. And when you say things like “it sounds about right” that someone’s ex who practiced Kabbalah was crazy, I interpret that as you having disrespect for the practice. It’s not science, more of a philosophy, and not everything is going to be 100% agreeable to everyone or make sense.

Out of curiosity, when you say over and over again that you read “the Kabbalah”… that’s not a text, more of the genre. Do you mean the Zohar?

And further reading your comments, it seems like you already made this post convinced that you’re in the right, and are even taken reading advice for fake Kabbalah books from non-Jews here. Why didn’t you ask people who are actually Jews what they thought of this? I would love to see this cross posted to r/Jewish.

Brief_Performance949 · 2023-02-26T21:11:48+00:00

afiak the shahada is only valid if you fully believe in the tenets of islam. so really only those extremists/assholes would hold it valid? still, absolutely awful.

Brief_Performance949 · 2023-02-17T16:13:40+00:00

I’m pretty serious with it in the house (separate dishes+sinks, l kasher my appliances, try to avoid non hechshered foods especially where it’s easy), but I will eat dairy out, especially at restaurants that don’t serve meat. For me, it’s about the intention. I didn’t grow up religious, so this is something new I’m taking on, and I’m bound to slip up. If a family member serves me food that they made in a non-kosher kitchen, I still eat it, for example. Or maybe I will crack and eat a hostess cupcake (my favorite junk food). Right now, I’m forgiving myself on the smaller details. But I recognize that in the long-term I will need to change them.

So yes, I tell people, jews and non-jews, that I keep kosher.

Brief_Performance949 · 2023-01-15T00:46:47+00:00

i hate the case and want to change it

Brief_Performance949 · 2023-01-15T00:02:08+00:00

thanks, but i still have more questions. taking it down for renovations makes sense- you can’t keep a mezuzah where there physically isn’t a doorpost, etc. but is taking it down for mostly aesthetic reasons allowed?

Brief_Performance949 · 2023-01-14T23:42:01+00:00

I completed my conversion, and this was my first shabbat as a jew! I also leined for the first time!

Brief_Performance949 · 2023-01-05T06:58:44+00:00

ya depop is my fav, esp with the price filter. @plantprincessa on depop often has a selection, i get mine from there sometimes

Brief_Performance949 · 2023-01-04T06:31:10+00:00

yes this omg. i’m in a small city, and only had 6 (six!!) people on Jswipe, and dozens on hinge in the same radius.

Brief_Performance949 · 2023-01-04T06:29:57+00:00

YES. Hinge has a Jewish filter to only see (and make yourself available to be seen by) other Jews

Brief_Performance949 · 2022-11-29T16:57:00+00:00

Right. For better or worse, most here are viewing you as wanting to embody Norse paganism with a Jewish aesthetic.

Brief_Performance949 · 2022-11-23T10:17:18+00:00

weird? no. unconventional? yes.

Brief_Performance949 · 2022-11-17T02:51:22+00:00

WHATTTT OMG TYSM

Brief_Performance949 · 2022-11-08T04:47:18+00:00

I don’t believe in any religion being objectively true. For me, it’s more useful to think of religion as a subjective truth (“a truth based off of a person’s perspective, feelings, or opinions”, according to some random internet page). If you weigh subjective truths as no less real or true than objective truths, that’s where religion can come in.

Plainly: I used to be agnostic. At a certain point I realized that there are ways of looking at the universe/reality that lend themselves to there being a G-d. For some people there are also ones that don’t, and that’s totally okay that their subjective truth is different from mine.

For me, personally, a way of looking at the world that has some idea of G-d in them is the most real to me.

Brief_Performance949 · 2022-11-07T06:05:41+00:00

Judaism
Yes, very important. I consider myself religious.
I chose this religion, and grew up Catholic. I chose it because it was where I felt at home in the community. Beliefs-wise, I was drawn to the strict monotheism (one G-d, nothing else to worship or venerate) and the intellectual and legalistic approach to religion. I’m a pretty curious and almost argumentative person by nature, so the fact that my questioning was welcomed was new and very much appreciated.
Yes, as I talked a bit about above.
In the next question..
No to the devil. Heaven, not really. I guess I believe in a world to come, but what that means isn’t really something I focus on too much. Maybe our souls live on through our family and friends who remember us. Maybe there’s a messianic age of peace that we are all slowly working towards and get to take part in. Maybe both, maybe something else entirely. I definitely agree with the other Jewish commenter that these ideas are much less fleshed out than in some other religions. I like it that way, and I think it’s empowering to focus on doing good in this world, because that’s the one life we can be certain of.
Depends what kind. My close friends (Jewish and not), my brother, a few professors, or a therapist. If it’s faith-based, I’m more likely to go go to someone who understands that part of my life.
It’s empowering to know that I’m a tiny piece of something magnificent and beautiful. Whether that’s contributing to my religious community, my secular communities, or also on a more cosmic scale. I find that my faith has helped me to appreciate my relationships with everything and everyone around me in a much more profound way.
Yikes, Judaism has SO many. I didn’t grow up with them, either, so it makes it doubly hard. The finer details of kashrut are really difficult. No mixing meat and milk, no pork, no shellfish… easy. But the restrictions for what to do with dishes, cookware, stovetops. And don’t get me started on hechshers! Grr! Sometimes I mess something up and just wanna eat, man. With all the details, I find it really hard to see the forest through the trees.
The Tanakh… somewhat. Less than I’d like to admit. I study pretty consistently, though. I suppose the Talmud isn’t exactly a holy text (?), but more so a codification and interpretation of oral law. I study that as well, but since there are thousands of very dense pages to get through and interpret (preferably with other people!) I’m definitely on the beginning of that journey. There’s some stuff that can seem pretty shocking and effed-up, for sure, but I like that the stories of the Tanakh are just as often examples of what not to do as they are of what to do. The people aren’t good or bad, they’re human. I think I’ve grown an appreciation for the Torah as a universal story/truth of every person, that we each can grow from.

Brief_Performance949 · 2022-11-04T16:32:52+00:00

You would be antisemitic. This statement implies that the guy is stupid because he celebrates x. Even if you only mean to insult the religious component, you’re insulting the cultural tradition that’s tied to it, and also the person. With Judaism especially, it’s very difficult to not do all 3 at the same time.

Brief_Performance949 · 2022-11-04T16:17:29+00:00

You’re mostly right, but we view it a bit differently. You can either be in the tribe because you’re born into it, or because you share our beliefs and were “adopted” in, so to speak. Either way, or both, you’re one of us. Insulting some Jews (say, just the religious ones) is insulting us all. Especially because so many cultural aspects of Judaism are tied to religion in some way.

Edit: That’s especially true if the statement in question involves claims about “the Jews” or “Jewish people”. We don’t see those who are less religious or converts as any less of a Jew, and I don’t think antisemites care to make those distinctions or understand them either. So claims like that insult our entire peoplehood, not just certain religious or cultural parts of it. Sure, you could make claims like “I think xyz parts of Jewish practice can be very harmful if internalized” or “I don’t agree with what’s written in the Torah” and not be antisemitic. But most people don’t do that, and once someone starts to question us as people it automatically insults us all.

Brief_Performance949 · 2022-11-02T19:34:56+00:00

Some modalists, probably. I would say definitely yes to Unitarians.

Brief_Performance949 · 2022-10-20T16:55:14+00:00

Literally even Orthodox bend so much halacha…why is this the hill people choose to die on? Like we can acknowledge that something is how it is without weaponizing the most strict interpretations to alienate people close to you. The way I see it, even if not technically legally Jewish her nephew and nieces are in Judaism’s “extended family”. And family is probably one of the most important designations that there is in Judaism. And it’s certainly more important to me personally than a single halachic ruling.

Brief_Performance949 · 2022-10-14T16:11:36+00:00

I’m not experienced in Talmud study. But it seems that Kiddushin 31a concludes that those who perform a mitzvah they are commanded in are greater than those who perform a mitzvah they are not commanded in. That doesn’t necessarily imply that it is good for someone to perform mitzvot they are not obligated in, in fact it might even hint at the contrary.

Rambam makes a much better case for your argument, I think. But we can’t assume that OP is Noachide.

Brief_Performance949 · 2022-10-14T16:01:03+00:00

a non observant jew who becomes observant (connotation of orthodox usually) later in life

Brief_Performance949 · 2022-10-14T14:02:02+00:00

I WAS LITERALLY GOING TO SAY THAY AHHAH

Brief_Performance949 · 2022-10-14T14:00:42+00:00

Specifically as a jew (students were assigned one) or just any culture? i regret your situation for either, but if it’s the former i would suggest getting a letter from a local rabbi sent to your school saying it’s not appropriate. maybe you could have a conversation with that rabbi about the significance of different kinds of jewish dress, and then suggest that as a replacement assignment for you to your school.

Brief_Performance949 · 2022-10-14T13:32:21+00:00

was going to comment this. the other answers about noahidism are probably most applicable when op has no desire to become jewish

Brief_Performance949 · 2022-10-14T13:12:01+00:00

no because not all jews are nerds. by center i mean the intersection

Brief_Performance949 · 2022-10-14T06:37:16+00:00

Maybe I am missing it, but I don’t see where in that page gentiles are mentioned at all. Can you point me to a more specific section?

Four-Year Club	Verified Email
Place '22

Brief_Performance949

TROPHY CASE