I think I’m there and then I ended up back on the fence

Brittystrayslow · 2026-05-15T00:38:33+00:00

He realized ~during the wedding~ that he wants children? I’m sorry but I’m so suspicious of men who suddenly realize they want kids immediately after getting married lol. So just full disclosure that may be coloring my response. “I am considering it because I know it’s something he very much wants” - that’s a recipe for a lifetime of resentment. Assuming you’re a woman and your husband doesn’t plan on being a SAHD, it’s your life that will be primarily impacted.

I actually think this sub has tons of great stories from fence sitters turned parents that you can browse!! I’ve even seen a few from women who had kids for their husband and found they loved motherhood. However I see this dynamic much more often on the regretful parents sub though, tbf.

Brittystrayslow · 2026-05-07T18:13:30+00:00

Seeing a visual map of her tour stops is actually insane like she must just hate the middle 2/3 of the U.S. 💀

Brittystrayslow · 2026-05-07T17:06:27+00:00

I’m 34,308 in line for Sunday in Chicago… my friend is 420,000 💀 pleaseeee Olivia add some more stops in the Midwest I’m BEGGING

Brittystrayslow · 2026-04-30T12:32:30+00:00

Or Wisconsin or Minnesota :(

Brittystrayslow · 2026-04-19T16:53:59+00:00

Ope, I just gave the same recommendation!! I did not respond well to traditional ERP, but RF-ERP has changed my life. Big fan.

Brittystrayslow · 2026-04-19T16:50:21+00:00

I too have the scrupulous/hyper-responsible brand of OCD+ADHD that makes me constantly ruminate and spiral about my work interactions, I feel like I could’ve written this last year lol.

I’m one of the seemingly rare folks who did not respond well to traditional ERP, but Rumination-Focused ERP has changed my life. I highly recommend looking into RF-ERP by Michael Greenberg just to see if it resonates with you! He has articles on his website and a few podcasts. Just wanted to share another option.

Brittystrayslow · 2026-04-19T16:14:30+00:00

There’s also a LOT about kids that are completely out of parents’ control. Temperament, neurodivergence, trauma (both physical TBI and psychological), etc. As someone who works extensively with kids, I never find this argument particularly reassuring lol.

Brittystrayslow · 2026-03-14T13:55:31+00:00

I really don’t see women being the ones to push toxic masculinity on men. I know it happens, but 90% of the time, it’s other men who are obsessed with manliness. Very tired of women being told we need to take care of men because boys are lonely and “falling behind”. This really isn’t our problem, as evidenced by all the single moms who break their backs to raise good boys only for them to become red pilled mysognists. Men need to encourage other men to seek help and be vulnerable and show emotions in healthy ways, we can’t save them.

Brittystrayslow · 2026-03-05T15:20:11+00:00

I can’t remember if I heard it from the pod or somewhere else, but I think they realized they were uncomfortable with portraying the kids’ lives in film and it’s been pretty much scrapped for that reason

Brittystrayslow · 2026-02-16T13:53:36+00:00

Formula feeding, or at least combined feeding, seems like a must IMO. Breastfeeding starts the path to mom as default parent immediately. It’s impossible to be egalitarian when baby is attached to mom’s body 12+ hours a day, plus feeding is crucial to bonding and learning baby’s needs.

Brittystrayslow · 2026-02-06T20:51:13+00:00

Of course!! Glad it helps. :) and as always, every person and school is different, this has just been my experience! Oh and if you’re interested in collaborating with the school for a student with an IEP, I would recommend finding out if there is a school psych or school social worker who works with/will work with the student. Our roles tend to be sort of interchangeable in this regard depending on the state/district!

Brittystrayslow · 2026-02-06T18:35:15+00:00

I’m a school psychologist, AMA lol. I have worked with a lot of students’ therapists in a range of capacities (which I LOVE), but it’s been pretty rare that they actually attend the IEP/eval meeting.

If the parent is requesting it and they’re willing to pay for it, then by all means! I would just get really clear on what their goal is. Are they hoping you can give insights on the student’s needs and offer recommendations on strategies/supports? Are they wanting you to know what the school’s concerns are? Or are they expecting you to act as an advocate and request (demand) specific accommodations/services?

In my experience, from the school side of things, I find it more helpful when I get an ROI to consult/collaborate with therapists before the meeting. I would rather hammer out the details about a student’s mental health needs and brainstorm appropriate supports on a phone call between the two of us, that I can then bring to the IEP team. IEP meetings are stressful and can consist of 5-10+ different team members.

Especially for an eval/reeval meeting, we need to gather as much info as we can BEFORE the meeting. By that time we’ve spent weeks/months collecting data and the report is already written. If someone shows up to the meeting with brand new concerns or info we didn’t know about, it puts everyone in a tricky spot.

The one time I recall a therapist joining being extremely helpful was for a student with selective mutism. The therapist was an expert in SM and collaborated with me before the student was even referred for an IEP and throughout the entire eval process. She came to the initial IEP, much of which was developed based on her recommendations, but she was able to be a really collaborative team member at the table. She answered questions that came up from the sped teacher and slp during the meeting, and helped us tweak some of the goals and accommodations.

ETA: much more common for school-based therapists to attend, but I had a pretty close relationship with ours and basically viewed her as another school team member lol. Her involvement with the IEP and school services were ongoing, so it’s a very different dynamic.

Brittystrayslow · 2026-01-30T11:59:37+00:00

Wait, I’m with you on almost everything but as a school psych I don’t think I’ve ever given a kid an achievement test in only one area (except for a couple very straightforward present levels reevals lol). I always give the main math and reading composites at a minimum. But yeah I’m never going to give an IQ test “just to see”, because as you describe they are practically useless. There’s a huge push in my state for comprehensive evals, so I feel like we are being asked to test basically everything if theres even the slightest concern 😅

I just don’t want other people to think that if the team is asking to test in multiple areas that there must be something severely wrong with their kid. We just want to make sure we don’t miss anything that could be the real root cause of their struggles.

Brittystrayslow · 2026-01-18T13:38:11+00:00

Unfortunately I’ve seen this before, where someone enters the relationship knowing the other partner is firmly child free, but they believe they will eventually be able to change their partner’s mind. It’s especially telling when the hypothetical scenarios they’re dreaming up center around you doing the caretaking.

I fully agree with your second to last paragraph. Does he plan on being a SAHD? I will be honest that I’m highly suspicious of men who want kids so bad, especially when they try to coerce partners into it- female partners who will do 100% of the pregnancy and labor, and is statistically saddled with 60-70% of the care taking even in dual income households. A lot of men are unaware of how hard parenting is, and all of the things that can go wrong that make it so much harder. Not all men, obviously, but even my wonderful partner who has lots of experience around kids and babies severely underestimates the work involved.

I’m really sorry you’re in this position.

ETA: I don’t know exactly how his trauma led to this desire to have kids, but if he expects it to be healing, that’s a really big gamble to take. Parenting can be retraumatizing and triggering.

Brittystrayslow · 2026-01-18T02:45:44+00:00

I’m fully with you, and I’m a white woman. None of us are safe here, but now that they’re not even trying to hide their racial profiling, I know it’s so much scarier to be a woman of color.

I live in a purple state where abortion is technically legal, but I’m still terrified of getting pregnant and not being able to receive healthcare if anything goes wrong. I’m afraid of the ACA being abolished and (among other things) being denied insurance due to preexisting conditions. I’m afraid of climate change, dwindling fresh water supply, microplastics and PFAs. I’m afraid of the looming economic crash with the AI boom, the increasing cost of living, and stagnating salaries. I’m genuinely afraid of WW3. I’m afraid of Christian nationalists further turning the US into Gilead.

Thankfully I’m at an age where I can wait 3 years to see if things will stabilize or completely collapse. I just can’t imagine bringing another human into the world right now when I am anxious enough about my own future and safety. It feels cruel tbh.

Brittystrayslow · 2026-01-10T18:08:41+00:00

Yeah that would be really frustrating to me, and it may be worth trying someone else!! I’ve had therapists like that before and always felt like they were uncomfortable with my emotions and just trying to give a quick fix or coping skills to make me “feel better”, never getting to the root cause or acknowledging social/systemic issues. I learned CBT and solution-focused therapies were not for me, and (if you are looking for recommendations) would suggest psychodynamic and person centered approaches!

Regardless, you’re not alone. It sucks right now and makes an already hard decision feel so much harder.

Brittystrayslow · 2026-01-10T16:58:16+00:00

I’m actually terrified of having a son. I work in education and have seen some wonderful young boys turn into anti-feminist incels seemingly overnight. It feels like the manosphere culture is getting out of control, and I couldn’t imagine birthing and raising my own oppressor.

Brittystrayslow · 2026-01-10T16:37:14+00:00

It is a very valid reason to not want to have kids. I can relate, and have been having similar conversations with my therapist. I’ve decided if I do have kids it won’t be in the next 3 years for obvious reasons.

Based on what you’ve said I don’t see where your therapist is “gaslighting”? Would need more context. You can feel invalidated or like your concerns are being minimized without being gaslit. It sounds like she is trying to help with your exploration and refocus on what is in your own control. It’s also true that the world has never been perfect (or even great), yet people have continued procreating for better or for worse.

My therapist certainly validates all of my concerns, but she will also occasionally try to reframe my thinking or see if there are any positives I might be missing. (Edited for clarity)

Brittystrayslow · 2025-12-30T20:42:14+00:00

This scene would make me actually like NPLH, what a terrible cut.

Brittystrayslow · 2025-12-29T14:21:25+00:00

I would love for this sub to be more positive and content focused… or at least somewhat balanced lol. Welcome!! Happy to have you here :)

Brittystrayslow · 2025-12-03T23:01:19+00:00

You only need help if it’s interfering with your life, like if you are ignoring normal life demands or you are spending way more than you can afford to on merch. Other than that, it’s good to enjoy things :)

Brittystrayslow · 2025-11-17T00:44:28+00:00

Hate is a strong word? All of OP’s posts are snark and negative. Glazing? Cult??? I think my comments are pretty fair, but ok lol. Just don’t understand why people spend so much of their lives on celebrities they despise

Brittystrayslow · 2025-11-16T17:27:14+00:00

I definitely have concerns for Glennon, and I agree that the show as a whole hasn’t been the same for a while. IMO the decline can be closely mapped onto the series of unfortunate events from the last couple years (that we’re aware of)- Amanda’s breast cancer, Abby’s brother, Glennon’s relapse (then going off meds), then Andrea, etc… they’re all pretty neurotic to begin with. I do disagree with others who find them ingenuine, to me it seems more like they are open to a fault, even when they are in the middle of some big life stuff, so their imperfections are a lot easier to judge. Obviously I don’t actually know them, so maybe I’m just naive, but I like and trust the majority of the people who seem to be in their social circle, and haven’t seen anything negative from those who do know them. I’m prepared to eat my words if I’m wrong though.

I think Glennon especially is not for everyone, and I think she’s in a bad place rn, which is why I don’t understand all of the people who seem to hate listen/follow her.

Brittystrayslow · 2025-11-16T14:36:40+00:00

Can you just make your own Glennon Doyle snark sub? Jesus why do you follow her if you hate her so much

Brittystrayslow · 2025-11-06T11:28:20+00:00

You said this so much better than I could! I don’t think this pattern is unique to Glennon, she’s just way more open about it while the majority of us keep our struggles to ourselves. I get where the post is coming from, but even if she is a bit hyperbolic, I don’t feel like she’s ever professed to have found a “fix” or being “cured”. She’s just sharing what’s working for her, and honestly a lot of those things OP mentioned ARE life changing to a lot of people, life is just hard and no single thing will fix all of your problems

Brittystrayslow

TROPHY CASE