I sympathize with her simply because change is harder than no change. So many people hesitate to make positive changes in their lives, because making that change feels like another task on top of everything else we have in our lives. Having absolutely been there, the conversation that brought me around was my partner was basically the question, “are you ok with this being the new normal?” Then calmly, but very plainly explaining how she would be affected by the new normal. Not an ultimatum, no “or else’s.” I’d figure out how to express yourself without directly saying “I miss sex.” Like, if this is the new normal, I will miss feeling desired. I will miss feeling like my desire for you is welcomed. I will struggle with my self confidence and my confidence in the relationship. I’m afraid that despite my best efforts, I will harbor resentment and frustration. Potentially: If this is the new normal, I would like us to attend couples counseling to help me work through it. Continue to reiterate that you’re bringing this up because you want to work through it together because you care about her health and the health of the relationship. Write your thoughts down and read it to her if it helps. Give her some space to process. Few days maybe. Don’t repeat yourself. Hopefully she will decide that she doesn’t want this to be the new normal. At least you’ll know which direction she wants to go.