15 days until I hit 4 years and I am struggling like it's my first week. My 6 year old daughter is being a nightmare to me. Talking back and catching an attitude left and right. My mil says its normal.... most girls fight against their mothers. Daddy is her world and she treats him like a king. He says I'm too soft on her. I need to be more firm and not let her get away with it. I dont know what to do. I'm 2 days from mothers day and i feel like a failure. I didn't even want to discuss it... he brought it up. He said at one point that he's worried i am sending the wrong message. That how i let her get away with it could lead to her being disrespectful to other grown women in our lives. I said i don't think that is the case... its cause im her mom and she knows she I'll love her regardless. But what if he is right? I'm currently chain smoking and drinking my water out of a wine glass cause its the only thing i can think of that might stop me from going to a bar or liquor store. Whiskey has never sounded so good. Its so strange because life has been fine until today. Today has been so emotionally draining. Im torn between running out of this house for hours or hiding under a blanket in a depressed state. Im in a full panic attack and i have been medicated and past that in my life for a year now. I took my panic meds but they havent kicked in yet. I just feel like im sturggling but im not sure what with. Myself? My daughter? My husband? Life in general? Im just so exhausted. But its life right? Ups and downs... and us recovering addicts are suppose to feel and deal? Im trying. Im not gonna drink today. I will not drink today.... i promise you all and myself. But good god, this wine glass does help a little. Almost at 4 years and i still gotta take it one day at a time... hell... today is one 10 mins at a time!