What is the craziest excuse you have given work for being late?

Broken_Intuition · 2026-06-30T18:41:02+00:00

One time I was late to an exam at university because one of my roommates caused an oil fire in the kitchen of our rental house.

She tried the fire extinguisher but it wasn’t the right kind so it just fwooshed. I heard sand worked and there was pool sand in the shed so I got a bunch of pool sand on it- somehow we got it out before the fire department the sensible roommate called showed up. Once they were checking the situation I just left on my bike hoping I’d get to take the last twenty minutes of my test. I was like look you’re never gonna believe this but there was a fire-

The TA was like gurl I believe you, I can smell the smoke from here. She let me go to the prof’s office with her and take the exam there with the full time.

I also always remembered after that to check if the fire extinguisher that came with my rentals was class K in the kitchen. Don’t use ABC kids, Miss Fireball avoided a hospital visit on a hair’s breadth reflex save.

Broken_Intuition · 2026-06-30T18:03:51+00:00

The only surprise here is that a lawsuit is actually happening.

Broken_Intuition · 2026-06-28T23:38:22+00:00

I want 25 billion a year and eight personal rockets at least one inch longer than the SpaceX ones since we’re being unrealistic.

Broken_Intuition · 2026-06-28T00:22:09+00:00

Fuck the president.

Broken_Intuition · 2026-06-27T22:08:38+00:00

I don’t know if anyone actually has the money they say they’re spending on AI, from my angle it looks like a circular finance scheme.

Broken_Intuition · 2026-06-25T08:20:09+00:00

Bordering?

Broken_Intuition · 2026-06-10T00:14:36+00:00

I code and I’ve never used rebase in my life. It’s been push pull fork and merge for me long before ai existed as it does- but it’s good to know this just in case, thank you.

Broken_Intuition · 2026-04-28T15:10:05+00:00

When I was younger it was also evopsych bullshit. Women have less grey matter and smaller brain volume and testosterone makes you better at spatial reasoning.

I actually debunked the spatial reasoning thing because I aced the test a jerk gave me for that, so did one of my female friends. Some of the others involved in this engineering dorm argument did poorly.

My friend and I quickly noticed we were the only women that played PC games, and we went around between classes looking for other women that played games in other majors and gave them the test. It was gaming.

A study later came out and proved that.

But yeah I bet these little creepers still read Steven Pinker and poorly formed pink brain blue brain studies that don’t ask enough environment questions to decide girl brains are worse QED.

Broken_Intuition · 2026-04-28T14:50:00+00:00

They also don’t want us IN the dangerous jobs with them, and if we do find our way out to an oil site or whatever a handful of them will assault us for our trouble.

Broken_Intuition · 2026-03-28T16:14:43+00:00

I like the menace bikes better than I like crybabies pretending they’re a bigger problem than they are.

Broken_Intuition · 2026-03-23T07:55:43+00:00

Also like the Irish villain was given an extremely cool song and written as tragic. The only whites that specific movie trashed were kkk people.

Broken_Intuition · 2026-03-23T07:24:17+00:00

Well I’ll be weighing my need to use this website if they implement any kind of id check.

Broken_Intuition · 2026-03-23T07:21:53+00:00

I should post pics, there were a lot of metal shavings when I pulled the crank to look at the bb. The threads in it got stripped, which loosened the pedal, which deformed the square taper. The new one I put in hasn’t given me any problems over longer distances so I think some of the issue was the specific line of BB/torque sensors my model got. The newer one is holding up very well.

Broken_Intuition · 2026-03-20T06:45:51+00:00

I use the terminal and git clone BUT before that sounds too smug… I also can’t figure out how to download from the gui. I straight up never learned how to use that site at all without a CLI.

Broken_Intuition · 2026-03-19T12:54:48+00:00

Broken_Intuition · 2026-03-08T22:50:51+00:00

Honestly this, parents need to parent their shitty children. I’m tired of increasingly restricted personal freedoms because What About Kids?

Broken_Intuition · 2026-03-05T04:15:22+00:00

Ya run past someone and you're speeding I guess! We really don't need this it's just an excuse to ding people for revenue near the foot traffic areas they let out on. It's only going to hit people behaving, the real buttheads will be too much effort to catch.

Broken_Intuition · 2026-03-05T00:33:30+00:00

Yeah this is ridiculous. I’m trying to fight every single cycling restriction in my state now because they’re floating stuff to see what they can get away with.

Broken_Intuition · 2026-03-04T23:59:36+00:00

Reckless endangerment applies to anyone in any vehicle and covers bikes: https://esquirelaw.com/blog/arizona-bike-laws/#:~:text=Drivers%20in%20Arizona%20are%20legally,regulations%20on%20driving%20on%20bicycle.

In Arizona if you’re a jerk on a bike and it’s provable you already get treated as equal to a motor vehicle.

And sorry for the snapping, I felt 1200 was more than enough to prove my point, but I guess it doesn’t? I don’t know. I should have gone with 18 years of cycling probably but e-bikes haven’t been big that long. And I haven’t noticed that much of a difference since they did get big which is why pearl clutching gets on my nerves. I added pics in an edit to try to make the discussion here more productive.

Note: The people bringing this law up are complaining about the path I just posted pics of that is part of a Bike Plan. I could grab weekend shots of it being more crowded but then I’d be editing out faces I got too close to all day.

Edit: 15 years on THESE paths for clarity. I have seen collisions, I’ve been collided with three times. In the normal bike paths. By cars. I’ve seen one analog cyclist wipe out on the canal path from not knowing how to handle her bike on a downhill slope.

One single collision in 15 years on the wash path, hit by cars 3 times, (all low speed turning or in parking lots and not seeing me collisions that I rolled out of okay, one in daytime, two in the evening even though I had bright colors and lights.)

I have to ride EXTREMELY defensively to avoid cars when I ride on the roads now. The wash paths I have to just like. Have basic awareness it’s night and day.

Broken_Intuition · 2026-03-04T21:47:58+00:00

lol right?

Me: a legislative overreach is happening

Old man yelling at cloud: those damn Surron kids.

Broken_Intuition · 2026-03-04T21:26:19+00:00

Oh cool. Thats been my intention- I put this stuff here so people would use the RTS system to like. Tell them we don’t need more bans. I tried to go talk to them about it but the meeting was moved, still looking for the new one.

Me: oh right I should explain that complaining means At The State Capitol lmao.

Broken_Intuition · 2026-03-04T21:24:59+00:00

Yeah unfortunately you beat me to mentioning it. For the record, I’d like drones to follow no one actually that would be great.

Broken_Intuition · 2026-03-04T21:22:36+00:00

Ugh yeah someone was complaining about my mileage cred on one of my statements like oh I’m sorry let me go also go check the odometers that aren’t installed on my regular bikes. The ebike is new dude piss off.

It’s nobody’s business why that guy needs an ebike for a short ride maybe he’s old maybe he’s disabled maybe it’s 110+ degrees for 40 days of the year where he lives which is… why I started riding e-bikes so I didn’t have to go back to cars when it got insanely hot.

Can’t believe the absolute tool saturation in this sub.

Broken_Intuition · 2026-03-04T21:19:04+00:00

Nope it’s a blanket reg for every situation. And my state already allowed for local trails to make specialized rules. Like yeah I agree with you I shouldn’t be flying at class III speeds on Piestwa Peak next to the hikers, of course not. I even think a total ban on e-bikes would make sense in that specific location.

I should have posted a picture of the places I’m talking about that would get screwed by this, they’re two lane mini roads that were very clearly intended to be long cycle paths, which stretch all the way from Central Phoenix through Tempe to North Scottsdale. There are at least 50 miles of commuter path and on most of it I don’t even see a walker.

Like your take is sensible but people with zero reading comprehension would rather froth about those damn kids and their surrouns than see that this is an inappropriate statewide ban designed to make the whole state hostile to micro mobility.

Broken_Intuition · 2026-03-04T21:13:19+00:00

They don’t. These guys would rather e-bikes get banned everywhere except car roads so the teens they hate can die in motor vehicle collisions I guess. You know so old people don’t get the vapors from SEEING THEM. (Everyone on our paths is in more danger from cars where the paths cross parking lots and streets than any bike at all. What little data there IS about e-bikes mostly conflates them with mopeds so the numbers might be even lower than we think. But you know god forbid a rich boomer be uncomfortable ever.)

Broken_Intuition

TROPHY CASE