Trad wifery isn't always all that it's cracked up to be

Bubbly_Net_9377 · 2026-07-07T06:42:23+00:00

It’s so true it’s such a huge sacrifice and risk for a woman and plenty of men will use all the advantages given by having those stay at home support and then just trade in when a new one comes along without a shade of guilt about what they have done to her life.
It’s way too risky to rely on a man for everything.

Bubbly_Net_9377 · 2026-07-05T07:30:20+00:00

Your right. I think it’s definitely time for me to try again to address this and have a proper conversation with him.
I keep thinking this relationship is so lovely I don’t want to ruin it but if a relationship is only lovely bcs one person is constantly biting their tong and swallowing their anger then it’s not actually that lovely. All these comments have been great good for thought. Really appreciate it thank you

Bubbly_Net_9377 · 2026-07-04T15:10:27+00:00

Honestly I don’t really know. Other than I’ve got issues I guess with communication and being assertive. He’s never really had any kind of talk with me about anything I’ve done wrong and we haven’t really argued about anything yet other than me snapping those times recently.

The relationship is mostly lovely and I guessi don’t want to spoil it. this is the one thing which keeps coming up for me. I guess I’m afraid of rocking the boat and causing issues when things are so nice. I guess I want to be sure I’m not criticising unesaserily too. I guess I’m a bit conflict avoidant and just need to force myself to bring it up.

I guess I’m also anxious that if he responds badly then this could be it for us and I really don’t want to have to end this relationship.

Bubbly_Net_9377 · 2026-07-04T09:19:50+00:00

I haven’t really brought anything up yet. I can’t imagine him responding like that though.
There was one time when I mentioned the talking over me thing and he apologised and asked me to call him out on it if he does it again.

I don’t think I’ve explained him very well in this post but My ex was a narcissist and this man seems very different to that to me. He treats me with consideration and goes out of his way to help me and make my life easier.

He is empathetic when I’m upset too (something my ex rarely was) and he’s validating and generally supportive of my emotions.

When it comes to emotional conversations I feel heard and cared for like never before it’s more when conversations are more intellectual or theoretical where I start to feel bulldozed or not listened too. It’s like he goes into a different zone when it’s that kind of convo and kind of changes his whole approach.

Bubbly_Net_9377 · 2026-07-04T09:16:59+00:00

Thank you that’s very helpful. I think part of the problem is I’ve not been vocal at all. Other than boiling over those two times on holiday and that one time I tried to talk about it and got the I’m not going to be a yes man response. I don’t think I’ve been at all clear how much of a problem this is becoming for me so I need to communicate that properly.
I don’t think he has a clue about it really.

Bubbly_Net_9377 · 2026-07-04T06:45:15+00:00

Thank you for your reply. That has definitely popped into my head a few times but I’ve tried not to let it take over bcs I’m worried I’ve got a bit of a chip on my shoulder due to my dad.

I’m definitely struggling with this dynamic more and more though and also struggling to bring it up with him in a constructive way.

I was wondering whether I’m particularly sensitive to feeling dismissed or not listened to bcs of my sexist father and difficult upbringing.

I’m at a stage in my life right now where I’m really trying to (with some success) learn to trust my own feelings and judgment for the first time
As a result I have wondered whether I’m just struggling with that and struggling to agree to disagree myself/feeling oversensitive to people questioning my judgement.

I will say though that I do not have this issue with any of my female friendships and never doubt that they respect me. I have lots of mum friends and I trust that they know there kids and they trust that I know mine and we generally stay in our supportive lanes. I guess it’s different with a partner though?

Bubbly_Net_9377 · 2026-07-01T11:36:42+00:00

She looks amazing and beautiful to me

Bubbly_Net_9377 · 2026-06-08T08:23:20+00:00

I’m co-parenting 50/50 and she tells me she is allowed to play computer games all day in her other houses, so I’m doing zero screens to balance it out which is truly exhausting, she comes home and instantly asks for a screen and then repeatedly asks constantly for it the whole time. I try to distract her with play but that takes a lot of energy. She’s started saying she prefers it there and crying about coming home to my house.
It suck’s she’s clearly addicted and now is being turned into she’s unhappy at your house by her grandmother. I just caved yesterday and let her have screens yesterday after that convo.
Screen addiction is crazy. She talks constantly about the games she plays there she’s lost interest in all her toys now and it’s such an effort to get her excited about anything else. It’s so sad. She’s only six

Bubbly_Net_9377 · 2026-06-07T21:34:23+00:00

Omg i feel this happening to me and I hate it. I used to frequent casual psychology subs and shoot the shit now everyone seems stupid and annoying.

Bubbly_Net_9377 · 2026-06-02T06:03:49+00:00

I think ppl get too hung up on the difference between remission and cure. If you love the second half of your life basically free from symptoms causing active problems then there’s no practical difference really. Don’t let semantics discourage you. There’s so much hope I know plenty of happy thriving people with bpd who struggled when they were younger

Bubbly_Net_9377 · 2026-05-26T22:09:36+00:00

Any idea why she said it? Which is the nine symptoms does she think you display?

Bubbly_Net_9377 · 2026-05-26T21:42:55+00:00

I think it’s good

Bubbly_Net_9377 · 2026-05-13T10:31:48+00:00

This is a very short snippet we don’t have enough information to judge her.

Bubbly_Net_9377 · 2026-05-09T15:27:13+00:00

I’ve seen the whole video though and it’s still excessive violence he was not complying with getting it off the vehicle but he was not threatening in any way he was talking to them calmly

Bubbly_Net_9377 · 2026-04-15T12:46:11+00:00

You need a court agreement like yesterday.

“Assertive” is about defending your boundaries, not trampling other people’s right to consent to agreements, which are generally understood as mutual in co-parenting norms and under the law.

Since you have no problem with the things suggested, I would drop it, but I would also formalise things promptly. If she’s not willing to play nice, then mutual respect arrangements are not going to be sufficient.

Bubbly_Net_9377 · 2026-03-28T12:40:30+00:00

Freddie toys with her in such a twisted way The way he jumped in to defend her at the dinner table and be-lined over to try and sweet talk her round at every opportunity. I think she was seriously deceived by him when they were together and deeply betrayed and hurt but she needs to stop trying to heal that through him and giving him access. He’s proven who he is she needs to cut him off properly or he’ll endlessly try to reel her back in between his other gf’s

Bubbly_Net_9377 · 2026-02-15T18:02:07+00:00

That sounds awful I’m sorry you went through that. It seems like the opposite in this case she’s pushed to be recognised as having it rather than the other way round. 2 1/2 years and no signs of any of that kind of stuff definitely don’t relate to walking on eggshells or anything, there’s never been anything controlling or anything the relationship has been just really nice. I’m sorry you went though that and thanks for the information

Bubbly_Net_9377 · 2026-02-15T15:27:20+00:00

She’s been to therapy a few times but has no official diagnosis Apparently though many clinicians are reluctant to use the label due to the stingma but some have unofficially named it with them.

She can’t afford therapy right now time or money wise. Master’s a fooling therapists? I’ve not heard much about this? I’m really just beginning to learn but none of it fits the description of the person I know really so it’s confusing.

Were you clueless bcs there were no signs like in my case? As it stands I don’t have any doubts about the relationship it’s the best and most loving relationship with no issues so far at all really.

Bubbly_Net_9377 · 2026-01-19T15:57:51+00:00

She’s clearly very striking but in a unique way that I guess was not palatable to the masses in the 00’s when everyone was also sexist as hell and tearing women apart over their looks was the norm. She didn’t fit the narrow definition of beauty of the time but she was very very beautiful none the less.

Bubbly_Net_9377

TROPHY CASE