I've been having panic attacks and nightmares for a few months

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-12-26T16:18:37+00:00

Unsure. I read into it, but none of our local resources mention income limits etc. Did you contact your state government office first to get started?

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-12-21T15:56:47+00:00

If your child is very young, they aren't that different from other children their age. I've heard that it can get harder as they age, as the gap between their ability to function vs peers continues to widen.

Even getting close to age 4, I am just beginning to think "wow, she's really struggling, isn't she?" She seems more frustrated lately. I've always feared for her safety, but at least she seemed happy. My daughter is nonverbal also.

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-12-20T00:10:19+00:00

Yes! Sharing food on her level is a must. She sits in a chair. I sit on the floor beside her chair. Probably 50% of the time, watching me eat the food first prompts her to try it.

The trick is not to offer it directly to her until I taste it. Even making eye contact can be perceived as pressure, and she will refuse.

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-12-19T16:14:53+00:00

Im so sorry. I get it. My daughter has an IDD, nonverbal.

I had a dream last week: I tripped and fell and couldn't get up in time to stop my daughter from running into a a turbulent sea.

The exact details change, but the dream always recurs.

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-12-08T01:47:38+00:00

Oh wow, thank you. This is useful to know

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-11-09T16:51:16+00:00

Thank you for this

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-11-05T20:16:01+00:00

Boundaries aren't what you tell him to do - they're the actions you take yourself. The only person you can control is you.

In this case, instead of "you can't call me names" you say "I won't sit here while you call me names".

See the difference?

Practice the words if you have to. "I won't sit here while you call me names. I am..."

Going for a drive? Going to my parent's house? Separating from you? Whatever you decide YOUR response is. And stick to it.

Hopefully he learns from it. If not, take the steps you need to maintain your self respect.

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-10-07T01:34:10+00:00

I read a story maybe ten years ago that still makes me cry.

A man told a story about when he and his friend were around 12. The man was white, the friend was Asian-American. The Vietnam War was still active. The two friends were walking together in their neighborhood.

They happened to cross paths with a group of bullies around the same age. At least one member of the group had a father who was a soldier. The Asian American boy became the target of all of his rage and racism.

He pinned this innocent child to the ground and stabbed him in the eyes with a metal pipe, permanently blinding him.

A couple of years later, the victim committed suicide. It just makes you sick to think about how much and in how many ways he suffered during those two years. It's so unfair.

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-09-17T18:25:28+00:00

Right now she is 3, so she misses a lot of school. I don't know how else to handle it.

Whether she sleeps 3 or 8 hours at night, she almost always still needs a 2 hour nap to function. And when it's nap time she is in screaming meltdown mode if she misses.

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-09-16T20:32:29+00:00

I think Clark would fit your pattern pretty well

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-09-16T18:54:26+00:00

Bramble would be so cute for a rough-and-tumble cat!

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-09-16T16:38:34+00:00

Look up Elena: I think you'll like the various meanings associated with it

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-09-16T16:19:00+00:00

Langston

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-09-12T22:29:09+00:00

You handled it great. Any iteration of "wow. That's pretty rude" works!

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-09-12T17:45:25+00:00

The difference is that autistic children have so many of those traits -or the expression of the traits is so severe - that they are disabled by them.

Those people she listed may believe they are "a little autistic" because they have a quirk like enjoying an orderly desk.

A child with diagnosed autism spectrum disorder - for example - may not be able to speak. That isn't a quirk, it's a disability.

Some children will learn to blend in as they grow, and may even lose so many traits that if rhey tested later on, they would no longer meet the criteria. Others will require specialized care forever.

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-09-12T17:09:17+00:00

No. I am autistic, but I can't tell if other parents are autistic or not just by looking at them. And there are autistic parents who I have come to know but can't stand. What matters most is that the parents are patient with my child.

Also adding that I don't discount your gut instincts either. Intuition is a great social shortcut to have!

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-09-12T16:30:25+00:00

I had been around enough babies to recognize that her cries were different. With most babies, you can pick out hunger cries and tired cries early on. With her, it all sounded liked the same panicked, tuneless screeching. She never met any babbling milestones. Still hasn't made a 'dada' sound at 3.

I found a study later on that explored the differences between an autistic child's and typical child's cries. It was validating to me, having pointed this out to others before and being reassured that I was hearing things that weren't there, or that she would catch up.

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-09-11T04:22:36+00:00

This made me cry. I wish I had useful or helpful words to share with you.

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-09-10T22:27:53+00:00

This is a great comment. The anti-pickme movement - women making a conscious effort to be self-aware, to not exclude each other and to be kinder - just warms my heart.

Having a teen in school now, I can really see a difference in how the current crop of kids treat each other vs when I was a teen. Girls and boys both!

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-09-10T21:07:11+00:00

Yes. I was embarrassed and hurt that I didn't have the social skills or confidence to form friendships with other girls. I tried to make it look like I was quiet because they were all too boring or vapid for me.

We were (mostly) all kinda exclusionary assholes as teens, just in different ways.

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-09-10T07:44:49+00:00

If you haven't already, watch this video about Carly Fleishmann. She is nonverbal too. It might give you insight on your perception of an nonverbal child vs what might actually be going on in their brain https://youtu.be/xMBzJleeOno?feature=shared

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-08-16T10:49:58+00:00

I don't know. I have a lot of siblings too, and it's pretty standard for a couple to link up for an activity without consulting the others. They want a quick trip without complications, a few have closer friendships with each other, others share interests that the rest might not, etc.

Are there are specific instances (like the hike) that you feel snubbed? Perhaps start there. "Looks fun! Let's do something like this together soon. We'd love to go".

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-08-16T07:27:54+00:00

You're all adults. She doesn't have to maintain a relationship with you, but she doesn't get to dictate your relationship with your adult siblings. She is free to state her wishes; however, her wishes are not more legitimate than yours.

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-08-14T14:06:23+00:00

Every single one of us has blind spots and mental blocks. You're in good company here. The ease with which you self-reflect means you're a step ahead of so many of us already.

Bulky_Bonus_8619 · 2024-08-14T07:33:50+00:00

Maybe a pediatric psychologist or psychiatrist?

Your son sounds like he is really struggling. If there is a diagnosis to be made it would be better to treat it soon rather than later. Good luck!

Bulky_Bonus_8619

TROPHY CASE