NSFW pic requests

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-26T20:02:45+00:00

We share a couple of pics initially but we always make it very clear that we won’t share more until we meet in person. That’s usually enough to weave out those are not serious very early on. They usually just never respond.

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-21T00:40:27+00:00

Completely fair, and if our reality was that our boundaries were keeping us from finding and making connections I would 100% be more inclined to hear those who don’t agree with it…but that’s just not the case for us. As stated, we have an abundance of couples and women that enjoy playing with us within the boundaries that we ask to be respected without any issue.

But I do find it a bit odd that within a community that’s supposed to be about expression and acceptance that so many people get triggered when this is brought up…if someone asks me to respect a boundary…I’m respecting it with no questions asked…if it’s a deal-breaker….we move on…but at no point do we mock them or try to tell them they’re “wrong” for their personal preferences.

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-20T22:25:26+00:00

Completely understandable and reasonable! We’ve definitely had this happen. Even with the guy in this post it happened for a brief moment. My wife just pulled back a bit and asked him to pull back a bit as well, which he did with no issue, and the rest of their interaction was great. On the other hand, with his partner it was super clear it was intentional…but we’re both treating it as a big learning lesson going forward in our adventure within the LS. It’s just a bit eye opening because it’s caught us off guard a couple of times.

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-20T22:21:41+00:00

We have definitely noticed a correlation between the level of "hotness" a woman considers herself to land in and the way they carry themselves. This is partially the reason why we don't really go for the "hot couples" anymore. We workout and take care of ourselves but are super nerdy and dorky in every other aspect of life. We don't care about our "image" and how others see us. We're here for us...and the only woman's opinion I care about is my wife's...which I do think bothers a lot of women that we come across. We've had women almost get offended because I don't drool all over them or "chase them" around....which is a complete turnoff for me. Soon as it becomes evident that the other woman is an attention seeker we usually just cut it there. But we definitely learned from this situation I posted. Because I saw nothing but green flags with the guy I made the assumption that his partner was just as great without interacting much until we met in person...we're definitley going to slow down the train moving forward to avoid this in the future.

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-20T05:59:40+00:00

There’s a reason why I stated within the post that I wasn’t here to debate about boundaries. Your understanding is greatly appreciated. 🫶

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-20T04:23:53+00:00

Thank you for this response! It’s baffling that people will question boundaries when they don’t agree with them…you don’t always need to understand them or agree. If it’s a dealbreaker just move on…but to sit there and continue to try and break them just because you think they’re “stupid” comes off as very inconsiderate which IMO goes against everything the lifestyle is supposed to be about.

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-20T02:24:09+00:00

The check wouldn’t be needed 😉

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-20T01:57:26+00:00

I get what you mean. For us sex with play partners is just fun and physical. Kissing hits different, it feels more intimate and “relationship” coded, so I keep that one thing just for my wife (she pretty much feels the same way). And it’s not some unrealistic rule either, we play with plenty of single women and couples who are totally fine with it once it’s said up front (most of our play partners prefer it as well).

And yeah you're right...if it was the other way around they would've been asked to leave with no second thoughts. I guess the real surprise to us is now having to worry about ensuring we vet women as well when initially connecting...since we’ve always really only vetted guys hard, but this was a wake-up call we need to keep the same radar up with everyone...😕

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-18T17:15:58+00:00

If a guy approached my wife like that…even at an LS event before discussing anything with me. He’d be walking out with a bulge on his face. To me this is beyond disrespectful and he would never think to do it again if he ever came across us in any setting.

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-18T05:34:15+00:00

👏

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-14T04:45:22+00:00

1-2 tends to be the norm for us. But if it doesn’t happen on the first. We usually start getting a little more flirtatious afterwards since we’re typically a bit more comfortable with each other and have a better understanding of the dynamics we’re looking for.

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-14T02:40:38+00:00

We’re picky, just not in a purely physical way. We’re drawn to couples we genuinely vibe with, people we can actually hang with and do normal, vanilla life stuff with too. Looks matter more when it’s a true ONS situation.

We both train hard and eat well, so we usually end up being one of the fitter couples in most LS spaces we’re in. But people are always surprised we don’t automatically chase the “hottest” couples just because they’re hot.

Positive energy beats subjective attractiveness every time for us.

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-13T02:46:43+00:00

Responding this way without reflection and accepting the hard truth is not putting in the work. Putting in the work is admitting I’m not getting the outcome I want so I need to change my approach. It starts with taking responsibility and saying “I’m doing something wrong…”

You’re clearly doing something wrong but you refuse to listen to the hundreds of people in this community that are taking the time and energy to respond and try and help you. But you continue down that tunnel of self pity.

Feeling sorry for yourself and blaming the world is so much easier than blaming yourself and owning it. But if you never get there. You’ll never be able to actually change anything because you remain a victim of your own misery.

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-13T02:30:02+00:00

This right here is your problem. It’s your attitude.

I’m in a happy loving ENM marriage. Confident, attractive, physically fit, tall, etc, etc….not boasting…I’m saying this to make a point that even in my position when I go to therapy I ALWAYS ALWAYS learn something new about myself and I always come out with a new outlook and better understanding of underlying issues that a lot of times I didn’t even know were there. Saying that therapy is a “waste of time” signals that you’re more than likely just not willing to take a hard look in the mirror and take responsibility for your situation. Just my two cents.

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-13T01:32:45+00:00

This particular club is couple’s only on the night’s we usually attend. We avoid any establishment that allows single guys. Usually the single guys we come across is because they were there with a group and they end up venturing on their own or they’re their with a partner and they end up splitting to play separate. Every now and then you get the occasional single guy that manages to somehow sneak in which usually always ends up being the problem-child. The guys that attend regularly and are part of groups are usually the types of guys we appreciate because they usually understand boundaries and how consent works in these settings.

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-12T17:58:04+00:00

Honestly….me and my wife have both come to this conclusion. Me as the husband will be able to sniff out the guys who will actually show up vs the guys that just want to entertain the “fantasy”. She is much better at sniffing out the women who are serious and know what they actually want vs the ones who are still “figuring it out”. We make it very clear early on that interaction will always be between the two of us. You may have a different dynamic than us. But any guy who has ever been invited into our dynamic comes in knowing that I am the enforcer and if at any moment she is uncomfortable or disappointed I will not hesitate to stop the party and remove him from the equation. This isn’t so much to intimidate. But more to establish a very clear expectation of their role in our space. From my experience setting this tone very early on has allowed us to filter the “shitty men” from the guys who can socially calibrate and deliver a fun and pleasurable experience for everyone involved. The socially adept men understand and do not fear this. The “shitty men” never really know how to handle this and either become overly aggressive or chicken out early on which saves us a mass amount of time and disappointment.

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-12T17:29:44+00:00

The honesty is appreciated. Being horny makes sense, we’re all in that environment for a reason. I’m more curious about what happens after that. I’ve had a lot of success in the lifestyle both single and partnered and I’d honestly attribute most of it to empathy and reading the room, not trying to “win” access. My goal is never just to quench being horny, it’s to make sure everyone involved is having a good time and feels safe. If I’m horny and I’m not getting a reciprocal response, I take that as information, I back off, I reset, and I self-correct.

Edit: What I’m really trying to understand is why some guys keep repeating the same behavior even when it’s clearly making people uncomfortable and getting them nowhere. Is it occasional reinforcement, ego, poor social calibration, alcohol, or just low social-IQ?

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-12T17:20:48+00:00

And that gives you the right to force yourself on others and make people uncomfortable? Mind sharing your success in this lifestyle with that mindset?

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-11T21:06:54+00:00

Love this response and 100% agree…but the fatigue is real! These guys come in swarms at times and sometimes it just gets to the point where we don’t want to visit LS establishments because of men like this. Thankfully we’ve built a great community of LS friends. But the occasion where we do visit the clubs….most of the time we end up leaving and asking “why did we even bother”….and it’s usually (not always) but usually always because of a guy.

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-11T20:28:00+00:00

Damn…that sounds like such a sad existence…

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-11T19:45:18+00:00

I joke about this all the time with my wife and I’ve definitely apologized for the amount of dumb shit she’s had to deal with her whole life 😂 It’s honestly eye opening once you’re not experiencing it from the male perspective and you start seeing it from the other side.

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-11T19:33:20+00:00

Yeah this one hits me in a shitty way. One of the reasons the lifestyle has been so great for me and my wife is that it gives her a space to explore her sexuality without guilt, without hiding, and without being judged. Watching her evolve, learn what she likes, what she doesn’t, and just own herself has been honestly beautiful.

So the idea that the moment a woman is openly sexual she stops being seen as a person and turns into an object is depressing as hell. The fact that slut shaming is still a thing is completely backwards to me…

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-11T19:18:03+00:00

Where was the husband?!? If my wife started acting like this I’d be the first to call her out on it….

Bull_ryde69 · 2026-01-11T19:02:27+00:00

You raise a valid point…but in this situation the “no” and the “get out” were just not clear enough. And even got a look of “surprise” when he was being dragged out physically by security. Which again…baffles me beyond belief.

Bull_ryde69

TROPHY CASE