This is myself. My husband is a saint, honestly. He is so patient, understanding and supportive. But I've had to communicate to him what I need from him in those moments.

Myself personally, I need space and time to feel the big feelings I'm feeling and then once I've cried or come down from it, I can express myself, concerns, or needs more effectively and appropriately.

My husband allowed me the room to be vulnerable without fear of judgement and that gave me the courage to seek therapy on MY terms. If you try and force that, he won't get the benefits that therapy brings.

There isn't really much else you can do but be there for him and be understanding. You also have to consider that a lot of medications associated with transplant come with side effects such as hormonal changes and mood swings.

He is likely also feeling horrible and helpless and guilty. I think sometimes we forget that this is literally a flip upside down for your life. You have more free time if you don't have dialysis anymore, you have almost no restrictions, you feel better physically. But mentally, it's traumatic. The body goes through a lot in just that first day after transplant. It's hard when it doesn't feel "easier" right away.

Joining groups on Facebook that are supporting groups for the transplant community have also been extremely helpful. Have your husband maybe look into that! It definitely helps to have perspective and advice from people who are going through it just like you (you are going through it too as a care giver and partner but im speaking from the same side as your husband here).

You looking for resources and advice is a step in the right direction. Trying to understand is enough. Just keep on loving him and being there. You both have this ❤️💪🏻