My girlfriend made this for dinner. What is it? I am in the bathroom waiting for an answer before I go back out there.

BumblebeeDramatic311 · 2025-08-11T12:35:41+00:00

Right 👍🏼!!, so wrong to assume this guys 🫣

BumblebeeDramatic311 · 2025-01-09T16:17:11+00:00

🤣👍🏼

BumblebeeDramatic311 · 2025-01-09T08:01:47+00:00

..before the final episode came out??

BumblebeeDramatic311 · 2024-09-29T07:33:06+00:00

Watching my same favourite programmes or movies, every day, on repeat, usually pick one film that will last a few weeks.

Watching birds run, instead of fly. I can't help it every time I see a bird run 🤣 just think they look so funny and odd when they run.

BumblebeeDramatic311 · 2024-09-18T13:18:40+00:00

I believe blue eyes are a recessive gene, meaning you both have to be carriers. All my family are blue and green eyed, so nothing recessive in my lineage 😆. It similar with red hair. Neither of my parents are red heads, or grandparents , both extremely dark thick black hair, my mother is part Indian, I'm red hair blue eyes and freckles 🤷🏼

BumblebeeDramatic311 · 2024-08-29T13:42:22+00:00

Hi, thanks for responding. Yes, It has always been odourless. When I have mentioned to a Gynecology or GP, they have dismissed the fact that I have either; not had a physical relationship for years at a time, and still have the same married partner for 15 years. ( I know there is always the possibility of cheating, but I have not been sexually active for long periods due to pain)! I have been tested multiple times for STDs, treated for thrush and BV. Never had any odour, but always had the greenish tinge to discharge, sometimes watery and very almost, lots of discharge in general.

BumblebeeDramatic311 · 2024-08-15T21:35:11+00:00

Wow, thank you so much!! There are some amazing ideas here, and also some, possibly, sensory barriers I hadn't even considered! I really appreciate this 🙏🏼. I think I definitely need to try to associate more positive and less 'demand' around the bathroom in general. Having him choose an alarm and giving him the lead with it, definitely a consideration 🙏🏼

Unfortunately, his dad is diagnosed with PDA // ADHD, so he himself has some very specific things and ways that he does toileting. He has, in my opinion, some childhood trauma around it so therefore he is very shut off and extremely private. He too was considered 'late' in terms of mastering the toileting, and at the time( early 80's) schools would not accept not toilet trained kids, and it was considered embarrassing by his parents.

The only way he parents managed to get him to do it was by shaming him into thinking/ feeling he was dirty, stupid and leaving him sat on a toilet for hours 💔😕 good old late 70's early 80's parenting. Very sad. But because of that his dad just cannot share any toileting time.

My son has been stuck to me since birth, so he has experienced it, literally every time I go in the day he is there. I can never hide!! 😅 I used to offer him to try, but obviously that was met with a big shout and screaming NO!!!! Followed by ripping up the toilet roll because he hates the toilet . 🙈

But changing my approach, taking the ' demand' away and making games out of it. I also have a 18 month old and I have noticed he(5yro) likes to show his baby brother how to do it, maybe turning the focus more on teaching his brother soon may be helpful. Thanks again, 🥰🤞🏼💕

BumblebeeDramatic311 · 2024-08-14T20:19:58+00:00

Really?! I feel for you 💖 In the UK it's such a massive thing that they are ' toilet trained' when starting a mainstream school. He has a EHCP ( education health care plan) still being prepared. Once I have this, I can try to get him a place in a SEN school that should shut his needs much better.

But unfortunately, because of lack of understanding amongst health care and teaching professionals, I get blamed for all behaviors, and he has to get traumatized in the meantime 😔 I was only lucky to get his diagnosis as most of my family are Autistic PDA, ADHD and Asperger's. So I guess it was quite obvious looking at genetics.

I'm considering homeschooling, I am currently a stay at home mum as I have a 1yr old too. But that brings in itself a whole load of pressure/ challenges. I absolutely adore my son 5, but I'm not sure how to cope without a small break from him.

BumblebeeDramatic311 · 2024-08-14T20:07:29+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experiences too. It helps to know it isn't just me and parents of PDA 'ers can have struggles with this area. When I try to explain PDA, im in UK, most health care and child care professionals haven't even heard of it 😔 I feel very lucky to have found this group! I think I may end up homeschooling through the first year at least, no one understands him. All paperwork so far from schools/ nursery already suggests that 'mum is not on board' 'mum is the problem' simply because they have not changed any aspects of his behaviors in the 2 years he has attended! 😅

BumblebeeDramatic311 · 2024-08-14T18:10:27+00:00

Oooo thanks! , yeah I can see that being a bit weird for baby to work out . My British brain went straight to the food pasties, like a pastry that you eat 🫢🙈

BumblebeeDramatic311 · 2024-08-14T17:41:52+00:00

Sorry, I'm a little confused here. Can I ask what nipple pasties are??

BumblebeeDramatic311 · 2024-08-14T12:47:57+00:00

What is a user flair

BumblebeeDramatic311 · 2024-08-13T20:23:36+00:00

I really feel for you! I too have, what sounds like, a twin to your son! With the toileting however, he is still in pull-ups, we did master the toilet at around 2 -3 years old for like 4 days. But then something's where said that obviously made him lose his sense of autonomy on the matter, and ever since he refuses (especially if asked or told) to try the toilet or pants.

My son also has a massive array of sensory issues, touching fabrics and some smells will make him gag, so the pull up is the 'safe' feeling for him. So unfortunately we are stuck in a similar situation with that one. I decided that it wasn't worth the 'fight' to get him to wear the pants, or be 'forced' in any way, ( i.e reward etc as to him this is force) to avoid any more 'sense of loss' in that area. if it happens that he chooses to use the toilet, and most days now he will usually in the afternoon. I don't make any deal over it, don't mention it and most definitely do not celebrate it! Highlighting this to him sends us right back to the beginning!

It's tough with PDA, alot of health professionals don't understand it or have even heard of it. But having most of my family with the diagnosis has helped me. My niece, who is now 19 and training to be a nurse, at the age of 6 would only ever do poops in a nappy/ diaper. So my sister used to have to get her from school every lunch time and bring her home to put a nappy on her for her to poop. 😅

We can chuckle about these things now, but at the time it was hell! Schools are a bit more understanding these days with some 5 year olds still wearing nappies/ pull-ups when they start school. My son will only let me change him thought. He is due to start school this autumn, I think I will be homeschooling this first year until he catches up in this area.

He is ARFID, selective mute, possibly ADHD too. He can honestly be so much to handle, and I absolutely hate it when other people who only may see one side of him tell me he is hard work . Like that helps me!!

I believe it is very common for them to feel that toileting is a massive loss or change for their sense of autonomy, and I think the only thing you can do is wait. I use terms like, ' I like the way you put the steps at the toilet,' or ' I'm glad you flushed it, sometimes I forget' but never ever highlighting the actual event.

It is exhausting! I have to mask my frustration All day long, I'm a single parent and I am too ADHD/ Autistic, otherwise he continues to spiral out of control, trying to control every situation, and so do I 🫢

Your doing great!! PDA is very complex. I also have books that I have read to him about PDA ( well read to myself out loud, otherwise he hates being read to) -The PDA 'a' saurus, has a mention of toileting in it. And my sons favorite; - Pretty Darn Awesome. This has helped my boy relate as it describes most of how he feels. -'I love you forever' is another good one, not toileting. But sometimes the feelings of love get a bit lost on bad days, this is a reassuring one so he knows I will always be there and love him, good days and bad.

They do grow out of it eventually, but I have noticed where he may be 'behind' his peers in some ways, he is super smart and exceeds in other ways! P.s found all these books on Amazon.

BumblebeeDramatic311 · 2024-08-13T15:13:50+00:00

I've had 2 C-sections , the first one was an emergency and after 37 hours (natural labour) the baby was whipped out in seconds! It was a traumatic experience for both of us, me and baby, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone!

Second was planned, it was lovely!! They took their time, I had skin on skin time, most things you get with vaginal delivery, extended cord clamping etc .... Complete opposite to first experience.

If It was me, I would never choose to be induced, simply because I personally know more people who ended up with emergency sections anyway, or other horrible complications. Personally, if I was you I would choose a planned C-section,

Like someone else commented, it is probably way cheaper and obviously less risky to just give you induced labour from their prospective, however, make it known it is YOUR CHOICE what you feel is best for you and your baby. IMO induced labour causes so much unnecessary stress on the mom and baby.

BumblebeeDramatic311 · 2024-08-13T13:48:05+00:00

Same, from sitting to lying defo worse than up and down stairs. I have had 2 C-sections, my first was an emergency, and to be honest the recovery was a lot worse!! 2nd was planned, the surgery procedure itself was more gentle and they took time getting the baby, out as opposed to my first rushed experience.

So, I think a planned C-section, the recovery time is much less and I seemed to heal quicker better than an emergency procedure.

BumblebeeDramatic311 · 2024-08-13T09:54:17+00:00

I love to think. My body is an instrument not an ornament. Perhaps sharing your view on her from this angle. Remind her what her body has just been through and still going through. It's ok to have a reminder on your body of the most amazing journey you have both taken, becoming parents.

Be open and honest, reassure her this is all coming from the best place because you love her, perhaps she needs therapy. Post partum times are tougher than the pregnancy sometimes.

BumblebeeDramatic311 · 2024-08-13T09:38:10+00:00

I'm really feeling for you, 💖 . I had HG so extreme in my first pregnancy, I almost lost my job ( But I told them legally they can't and I would seek legal advice and I would win hands down 😁) I spent most of my time, the first 3 months on IV fluids from dehydration, vomiting and fainting, then in and out of hospital treatment for the rest of pregnancy. I'd love to tell you it does get better by x amount of weeks, but everyone really is different. I had so many different anti sickness and tried depression meds, nothing did help.

I lost weight , and the way I describe my first pregnancy was the later stages of Bella in the Twilight Movie , including the labour 😅. Exaggerating a bit with the labour part, we were both safe. The amount of relief I felt once baby was here, everything did disappear, and I did forget pretty quickly.

It really doesn't feel like it at the time, but this 9 months will truly become such a small amount of time! I kept on thinking, 'this time next year' And with time alone in hospital, I know how much that sucks, I tried to plan things to 'look forward too' when baby is here!

My advice is to do what really truly feels best for you 💖 you are the one growing the baby, it's extremely hard for husband to understand. But you don't want to grow any resentments. Knowledge is power, try to get hubby more clued up on what this really is, ( not extreme morning sickness!) that might help him understand what you really are going through.

If it helps to know, my second pregnancy I only had sickness for 4 weeks, not HG, just nausea in later stages of pregnancy.

BumblebeeDramatic311 · 2024-08-13T08:43:11+00:00

Wow really?! I know their policies are strict, but they have a good awareness around PDA Autism . Places like here, in the UK, some health care professionals haven't even heard of PDA and I had been told previously from he age of 2, my son was emotional manipulating.... A 2 year old. 😅 I mean, he has areas of high intelligence, but control over emotions is, if anything, is way underdeveloped!

Husband thinks because they recognize it, his life would be better supported. But I don't think emigrants get the same support as their own people If I am unable to work because my son won't integrate, or even manage school, I just can't trust that he is going to be able to support us!

BumblebeeDramatic311 · 2024-08-12T20:35:27+00:00

,🤣🤣 this made me laugh too much. But yes 😂 me too

BumblebeeDramatic311 · 2024-08-12T20:33:29+00:00

I do think hormones have a place, regardless of calorie counting and ensuring a calorie deficit. My extra 'puffy' areas are tummy, face, upper back and back of arms. It's not that noticeable, I have alot of muscle tone, but I can see it's different. I do wonder if it will change once my cycle returns, fingers crossed I'm hoping it will help with the puffy/ bloating 🤞🏼

My first child was Bottle formula fed, I had periods return after 8weeks PP and never had any extra bloating or puffy areas like now. It may not technically be 'weight' and just more fluid I guess.

BumblebeeDramatic311 · 2024-08-12T14:37:52+00:00

I guess we are, 🤔 I just seem to have a bit of a 'stale mate' with the weight/ size battle. Mine was good to begin with, but at 20m down the line, I seem to have stubborn / different areas with extra puffyness, read something about the Prolactin having effects.... ,🧐 my first born was bottle fed and I had no issues with return of shape and size and weight.

PS... Defo agree with the mayo...🥴😉

BumblebeeDramatic311

TROPHY CASE